So... I've been thinking... (SoapboxBanhammer)

submitted ago by TheBuddha

I went out on the porch and threw some leftovers at the chickens.

I then watched them eat and do their ritualistic dances, as chickens are wont to do. I listened carefully and I'm pretty sure I'm starting to be able to speak chicken.

The ladies have filthy, filthy mouths! Do you know what they were saying?

"Suck suck suck suck my cock. Suck my cock."

The investigation continues!

drstrangegov ago

oh geeze. you have some trashy chickens. mine used to contemplate the meaning of life. from what I hear, the meaning of life is staring at things, pecking at shiny pieces of trash, and scratching around in the dirt. that was before the owls got them.

TheBuddha ago

They're communist chickens, I'm pretty sure.

drstrangegov ago

I think we've found the one example of where communism works. In communities of 10 chickens. Oh wait ... They're all dead. So maybe my chickens weren't an exception after all.

TheBuddha ago

My ladies are still, strangely, very much alive. They're too old to eat and don't even give me any eggs. They're actually refugee chickens - they meandered over from the nearby farm and now live here.

One of these days, I'll formalize and edit the Chicken Tales and share the story of the refugee chickens in its entirety. That's a project that's way out in the schedule, however.

drstrangegov ago

my little flock was way past their prime as well. I couldn't bring myself to cut their heads off because they were so good natured and everybody enjoyed their company so much. my wife would carry leftovers outside and yell "chickings!" and theyd come running over with their little bloomers on. we'll get some new ones in spring. not sorry at all to see the ducks go, though. absolute shit factories and just ill tempered. my neighbors got a goose. best guard dog you've ever seen. someone tried to steal him a while ago, the neighbor was pissed when they brought him back.

TheBuddha ago

Chickens poop on everything.

I built them a chicken house and they hardly ever sleep in it. They get on top of it and poop on it.

drstrangegov ago

hehe....yes, their repulsiveness is charming.

zyklon_b ago

the best way to fuck a chicken is stick dick up its ass and chop its head off and let it flop on your dick

TheBuddha ago

I'll keep that in mind, thanks!

zyklon_b ago

I got a chance to make a few bucks driv9ng a car back from city tonite for someone!!!

TheBuddha ago

Should I ask what is in the car?

Also, avoid jail maybe. It's the holidays and your kid will be disappointed!

zyklon_b ago

the dude buys and flips cars so is just a car. he just needs a driver as his son the "tweakin Mohican" aint got a valid drivers license and is on parole so im pleased to make a few bucks which gonna help for xmas. feeding that whores kids n fl and paying for their shit and escape plan home put me WAY WAY over a month behind. more like 1.5 months behind hence why I cannot buy pills and pot

TheBuddha ago

LOL

I have to leave in like 15 minutes, but do you have a valid license?

zyklon_b ago

yes, perfect driving record

C_Corax ago

If you do it in reverse order it's no longer bestiality, then you're just playing with food.

zyklon_b ago

works out great fo all

Artofchoke ago

You sweet pea, feeding those chickens. <3

How's your state? Getting ready for the holidays?

Back from Tennessee, 22 hours of driving. The coon is terrified and hostile, living in one of the drawers under my bed. :/

TheBuddha ago

Of course I feed the chickens! I'm not entirely a monster. I actually quite like my chickens. They're pet chickens and not for eating.

We're blanketed in snow. I've got a Dr. appointment later. I'll try to remember to take a camera, or make EH bring her camera.

WORF_MOTORBOATS_TROI ago

Have you ever fed them leftover chicken?

TheBuddha ago

Yup. They love it. They also love eggs.

zyklon_b ago

they are straight CANNIABLA

TheBuddha ago

That is true.

zyklon_b ago

they eat anything

TheBuddha ago

As near as I can tell, they even eat stuff that doesn't exist. They're always pecking and scratching at the ground - and then eating invisible bugs or something.

zyklon_b ago

possibly they can see stuff we cannot

TheBuddha ago

Possibly, or they're just stupid. They don't appear very bright.

zyklon_b ago

who knows maybe being stupid is what makes em successful I wonder if they is more human or chickens on earth?

TheBuddha ago

Dunno? The chickens you are familiar with aren't anything like the wild chickens they were bred from.

And, you have a license with a perfect driving record? I didn't picture that.

zyklon_b ago

I just had to unwrap and give the 4 roxis to the dude they came from cause he just left his dr and was fired and is dependent on em and he had given to me for free so I just gave em back cause he would have done it for me

TheBuddha ago

You did the right thing. It sucks but I'd technically win the bet in saying that they'd not last you to Christmas! LOL

You did a good thing.

zyklon_b ago

you won but sucks. as a table scrap I gotta used tire (truck down wit flat tire n yard) plus if I go set fish traps in ar river 2 morrow n harvest next day I git share bounty of buffloe fish n catfish. If I could just get a dr give 120 30 roxi 1 time my life be set n xmas b cool so kids member!!!!!!!! fuckin politicians n they rhetoric

zyklon_b ago

yes perfect driving record.

lots of chickens is all I am saying

TheBuddha ago

LOL Nice. I'd have never pictured that.

Do you own a car?

zyklon_b ago

99 s10 broke in yard cause tire blew out n cannot afford to replace cause kids + xmas + florida

TheBuddha ago

The S10 is nice.

zyklon_b ago

not this one dude. is embarrassing and not reliable. instead of a truck helping me score pussy this one probably has opposite effect

TheBuddha ago

LOL Well, I suppose you'll have to save up and fix it.

zyklon_b ago

nope im already plottin put it for sale for a few hundred more than I paid like $1500 or maybr $1600 and when I sale it gonna keep flipping em until I get reliable truck.

TheBuddha ago

Nice. Trucks are a lot of fun. I miss plowing snow and sanding. I also miss the commanding view from the height.

Right now, I'm not really doing any driving. I miss driving.

zyklon_b ago

road trip

zyklon_b ago

daughter concert in a few

TheBuddha ago

Bring a cell phone and record audio!

zyklon_b ago

I wish. I aint got a smart a phone and my Obama phone does not do pics or recordins

TheBuddha ago

Hmm... Well, maybe you can use your laptop?

zyklon_b ago

naw ima get a smart phone soon so I can take pics of game n fish n daughter.

TheBuddha ago

What happened to the phone you were using to visit/surf Voat? You used to surf on a cell phone. At least I'm pretty sure that's what you told me.

zyklon_b ago

got stolen by an employee while I was in nuthouse detoxing off meff back in september

TheBuddha ago

That's pretty shitty.

Do you have wifi at your house? I might have an older smartphone kicking around, but there's good odds that I've given them away or chucked them in the trash. They'd be in a part of my basement that I call my lab. It's a bitch, but I can check so long as you've got wireless.

zyklon_b ago

yeah got wifi. check it out or send the young'uns down there and see. thanks buddy

TheBuddha ago

They won't know where to look and they won't put stuff back after they moved it aside.

I'll be in the basement tomorrow. I have a small gym down there, so that's where I do much of my PT. I'll look around and let you know. It's not like I'm actually using them for anything.

zyklon_b ago

thatd be so very cool/ I had never caught a spoonbill before and today was 1st fish I caught. had to throw it back cause of game warden spooking me but I so wish id had a camera. besides getting the free delicious food one of my my goals was to finally get a spoonbill and am so happy. marked off the bucket list as us old geezers say

TheBuddha ago

Absolutely zero guarantees, but I'll look. I know that I had like three of them from a few years ago (they'll still be just fine for your needs), but I'm not actually sure if I gave them away or if I kept them. I dimly recall giving them to a young lady who wanted to learn more about electronics. I gave her some kids, a soldering iron, desoldering iron, wire, a bunch of parts, and things like that. I might have tossed the phones into the package along with a spare multimeter.

She's a young kid and her cord to her iPad broke. I figured I'd help her learn how to fix things.

zyklon_b ago

you are a good and kind friend and also a righteous fucking dude komrade!!

1990

TheBuddha ago

1990 - and I might have given 'em away, so don't get too excited!

zyklon_b ago

I just mixed a soma and 30mg roxi. traded the 3 catfish for a pill!!! dude it was pleasant and peaceful out on the river. they is these birds that dive under water and catch fish and I also caught on of them in nets today. I think they are called snake birds or snake necks cause of they long neck. imagine my shock when I go to pull up net from deep in ar river and some kinda duck/crane hybrid looking bird was in it!!!!!

zyklon_b ago

damn that is fucking beautiful!!!!!!!

TheBuddha ago

;-) I own it. That belongs to me. You can fish there. I don't mind.

https://imgoat.com/uploads/a79ea27c27/154663.jpg

https://imgoat.com/uploads/a79ea27c27/154599.jpg

zyklon_b ago

very cool. I am a little too far south meaning trout aint here out in nature but can find em a few hours north so I aint ever fished for em but know itd be fun even if you don't catch nothing and is wet and cold is still fun

TheBuddha ago

Right now, they are ice fishing.

Fuck that. I don't ice fish. Ice fishing is fucking stupid. It is cold, labor intensive, and boring.

I do go out to the ice fishing shacks and get shitfaced. However, I don't do a damned bit of fishing. Nope, not even a little fishing.

I make an exception for smelt jigging, but that takes place inside a nice warm ice hut. Ain't even gotta go outside. You just get shitfaced and wiggle the lines once in a while.

zyklon_b ago

you will not catch me ice fishing under any circumstance either, fuck that!!!

I just got notified the cops are chasing my daughters mom all over the countryside. apparently she got failure to appears and lots of charges in multiple counties and cops got tipped off she was around (haha) anyways I am betting when they finally catch her she get prison time.

TheBuddha ago

You've never told me much about her.

I will have people returning to the house soon. So, I may not be here much longer.

zyklon_b ago

she a piece of shit and needs be locked up so she maybe have a longer and better life.

Alright buddy I will talk to you tomorrow im sure

TheBuddha ago

Why does she need to be locked up?

Errr.... I might have like another hour. They're on the other side of Farmington.

zyklon_b ago

because she did not show up for court and snitched out some vatos and am hoping the senioritas take care of business when she gets locked up and stops popping in and out of babys life is why

TheBuddha ago

She a druggie?

zyklon_b ago

I want her to suffer cause she is convicted child abuser

TheBuddha ago

What other laws does she break?

And child abuser? That's fucked up.

zyklon_b ago

last year after the state gave my daughter back to her cause she completed anger management and took a parenting class. she had lost her to me for the previous 3 years cause she beat her oldest son with a toaster swinging it by cord cause her boyfriend left her, (6 counts child abuse not sure the specific charges) well the state decides after I have been perfect parent and passed all inspections plus daughter webt from literally flunkin to staright a's to give the ma another chance and she moves 8 times in year switching school 4 times (failing grades) moving from crack motel to crack motel. well one day she takes 30ct 30 mg oxy and downs a bottle liquor and puts son in car to drive to daughters school to tell her bye cause she killing herself and od's and wrecks on way to school and the boy called 911 and saved her life but she in legal problrns from it and lost all custody to my daughter for life.

TheBuddha ago

Holy fuck. Yeah, she should be in prison and never be allowed near children again.

zyklon_b ago

I got to go. later bro

TheBuddha ago

Stay safe, beetle. Stay smart.

zyklon_b ago

I will

she in jail they got her

TheBuddha ago

Nice!

zyklon_b ago

yes I am pleased t

TheBuddha ago

Excellent!

zyklon_b ago

hey buddy. how was pt? I got appt with orthopedic surgeon is a consultation on surgical options

TheBuddha ago

Easy day today. I just had to do my sitting and laying down PT.

zyklon_b ago

I guess trying to keep hip from locking up is goal?

TheBuddha ago

Sort of. It's to keep it limber and flexible. It's just a light day. My entire PT took less than an hour.

I have the house almost to myself, again. Four of the people have gone off on missions.

zyklon_b ago

you can jack off on the couch with no worries!!!!!!!!

TheBuddha ago

I can, but I'm kinda sore today. An orgasm makes me tighten muscles that I really don't want to tighten today.

zyklon_b ago

I wish I could get a steady thing goin trading catfish for roxis!!!!

TheBuddha ago

I could go for some catfish gumbo.

zyklon_b ago

when I eat catfish gumbo it ends up with a lot more protein than just catfish.

TheBuddha ago

Alright?

zyklon_b ago

what are you asking?

TheBuddha ago

Your protein and gumbo comment didn't make sense to me.

zyklon_b ago

I mean I put shrimp and chicken and sausage in my gumbo with the catfish

TheBuddha ago

Ah... I think most people do that, from what I've eaten.

zyklon_b ago

yeah I live really fucking close to the Cajuns and lots of em move here to escape the niggers in Louisianna and south AR so I get to partake in lots of their delicious and spicy creations. them coonasses as we call em will eat bout anything

TheBuddha ago

They are, many of them, my people. We Micmac migrated there, long ago.

We will eat anything, fight anybody, and drink anything. We'd prefer to not fight and just let the good times roll, but we get drunk a lot and shit happens!

TheBuddha ago

That's us!

zyklon_b ago

that's so fuckin cool dude!! being on Oklahoma line and living where I do I spend lots of time with Indians, danny the tweaker is Cherokee and the tweakin Mohican is some kinda indian but not sure. those are 2 of the people not family I spend most time with

TheBuddha ago

My people are from what is now called Nova Scotia, Prince Edward Island, and the northern coastal portions of Maine, seldom going inland.

I have to head out soon. Well, not out - but away. Two of my guests have returned and the next two are expected to return within the hour.

zyklon_b ago

later bro. I be gone to surgeon by time you return

TheBuddha ago

Good luck.

I have been kicked out of the living room. They're wrapping presents and they aren't even for me!

Err... I was bugging them and getting in the way.

zyklon_b ago

I gotta have surgery later this month and did not score any oxy

TheBuddha ago

That's pretty soon.

zyklon_b ago

31st and yeah arthscopic rebreaking of my fucking leg with an ice pick inside my knee basically what happening. im depressed as fuck dude to last time it was broken was 5 years ago and still hurt badly. sometimes is Gods will for me to be high forever I reckon.....

TheBuddha ago

At least you can get high!

zyklon_b ago

at least I can get high and aint dependent on anything!!!!!

TheBuddha ago

Hgh is nice!

I hope they make dinner soon. They kicked me out of their present wrapping area.

zyklon_b ago

dude I picked my cane up when in city and is so fucking gay dude. ima hope I can trade it in at different pharmacy

zyklon_b ago

what the fuck is hgh?

TheBuddha ago

A typo. I meant 'high.'

And, how gay is your cane?

zyklon_b ago

I got part of paper work from daughters mothers case and she sold to the informant 3 times on camera/ she in trouble

TheBuddha ago

Hmm... I wonder if they'll let her snitch for reduced charges?

zyklon_b ago

they always do but with the child abuse charges from the overdose incident plus all the guns? doubt snitch up enough unless she knows actual cartel which would be too dangerous to tell and also the morning she was arrested here her public defender filed a fake letter from a rehab in florida claiming she was there and goin to intensive drug rehab and leaving to come back for court over the child abuse and other drug charges would hurt her treatement. so I have got to call prosecutors and make certain they are aware of the scam she attempted to pull. I think she finally paying for dragging me in and out of court for years claiming I was a violent psycho (due to fact I stand my ground) now that the "rabbit has the gun" and the full power of cops and prosecution and judge on my side justice shall be served

TheBuddha ago

Yup. Those are experiences I'm so happy I've never had!

That and there's no excuse for child abuse.

zyklon_b ago

I had let it go and not done anything spiteful or cruel but she just kept taking me back to court cause she had done shit to lose custody so the state placed baby with me. at this point the being kind and trying to forgive all the hurt is over and I will see her fucked off everytime I find out she is trying to weasel her way back into daughters life

TheBuddha ago

Yeah, that's not a healthy situation for the kid, either.

zyklon_b ago

its heartbreaking for her to have a mom that behaves that way. I mean ima violent ex con and I know better than behave like that> whores always get pussypass

TheBuddha ago

We are rarities. We both were/are single parents.

zyklon_b ago

rare indeed

TheBuddha ago

Oh, man... Wait until she's a teen. You're in for some interesting times ahead.

zyklon_b ago

ima get a new belt and some switches and whoop her back to a younger age

TheBuddha ago

Yeah, that's probably not gonna help.

zyklon_b ago

I aint ever whooped no kid dude that was ajoke

TheBuddha ago

I figured it was probably a joke, but you never know who's going to read these old threads.

It's 10:15 and the whole house is still sleeping. We were up late last night.

zyklon_b ago

man that xmas wrapping sounded like a lot of fun. I bet the kids are loving it

TheBuddha ago

LOL It's a lot of work and time. They're going to Freeport, today.

Normally, I'd go with them. However, I'd just be in the way and it's a pain in the ass to deal with a wheelchair. They'll be hitting so many stores that crutches aren't really an option. Because there are five people going, they'll be taking two cars.

zyklon_b ago

yeah. i gotta c ouple things hidden from her but not wrapped. i look forward to goin into city cause i enjoy giving gifts but at same time hate crowded stores!! lots of pussy to look at in Walmart round xmas time tho

TheBuddha ago

I'd love to go with them and they'd like me to go, but it'd just be a pain in the ass. It'd also be pretty uncomfortable before too long.

zyklon_b ago

they have these little scooters at big stores but at holidays is not practical to move around and talk to sluts and shit on

TheBuddha ago

Yeah, there are smaller stores and not at all like Walmart.

zyklon_b ago

even worse would be more cramped and packed in

TheBuddha ago

Yup. There's a lot of nice stores though. I'd like to go but it'd be a pain in the ass. Hmm... It'd literally be a pain in the ass. Sitting for that long is not a good idea..

zyklon_b ago

fuck that

TheBuddha ago

My sentiments exactly.

zyklon_b ago

1990 > 1989

TheBuddha ago

That's TRUFE'!!!!!!!

zyklon_b ago

so gay I just went into town and bought a qt of miller and 30mg roxi am back now tho

zyklon_b ago

ok my ex got her charges and is 2 x simultaneous possession of drugs and firearms 2 x felon in possession of firearm 2 x possession of meth with intent to deliver and and 1 x delivery of methamphetamine to undercover. so am hoping she gone for a long long time

TheBuddha ago

Wow. The Feds might pick that up, which means statutory minimums. Ouch!

zyklon_b ago

wish but I aint got that kinda pull. luckily I am cool with local cops as to be able have her picked up so quickly upon hearing she was seen.

TheBuddha ago

It probably be for the best if she did real time.

zyklon_b ago

yes. I am certain her only possible way out of something this serious is prison or possibly "drug court"

TheBuddha ago

Drug court, for possession of a firearm by a prohibited person?!?

Huh...

Anyhow, I'll be back later this afternoon. Gotta be sociable but want to clear out my Voat comments first.

zyklon_b ago

firearms were part of a drug related crime is what I would argue but she aint that smart

zyklon_b ago

just so lucky that boy or nobody died when she done that shit!!!!!

TheBuddha ago

We have these fucking birds called "Loons" here.

They suck dick. They make noise all night long and I've had them steal my trout right off my hook and just as we were going to use the landing net on it.

Hmm... Have you seen my trout stream? (There are no loons on it!)

zyklon_b ago

I want to see the stream and have not seen it. I am getting back into nature more and more. when I started having moral problems bout killing animals it really got me out of the woods and rivers but am now remembering what I been missing!!!

drstrangegov ago

you are a villain.