I went out on the porch and threw some leftovers at the chickens.
I then watched them eat and do their ritualistic dances, as chickens are wont to do. I listened carefully and I'm pretty sure I'm starting to be able to speak chicken.
The ladies have filthy, filthy mouths! Do you know what they were saying?
"Suck suck suck suck my cock. Suck my cock."
The investigation continues!
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drstrangegov ago
oh geeze. you have some trashy chickens. mine used to contemplate the meaning of life. from what I hear, the meaning of life is staring at things, pecking at shiny pieces of trash, and scratching around in the dirt. that was before the owls got them.
TheBuddha ago
They're communist chickens, I'm pretty sure.
drstrangegov ago
I think we've found the one example of where communism works. In communities of 10 chickens. Oh wait ... They're all dead. So maybe my chickens weren't an exception after all.
TheBuddha ago
My ladies are still, strangely, very much alive. They're too old to eat and don't even give me any eggs. They're actually refugee chickens - they meandered over from the nearby farm and now live here.
One of these days, I'll formalize and edit the Chicken Tales and share the story of the refugee chickens in its entirety. That's a project that's way out in the schedule, however.
drstrangegov ago
my little flock was way past their prime as well. I couldn't bring myself to cut their heads off because they were so good natured and everybody enjoyed their company so much. my wife would carry leftovers outside and yell "chickings!" and theyd come running over with their little bloomers on. we'll get some new ones in spring. not sorry at all to see the ducks go, though. absolute shit factories and just ill tempered. my neighbors got a goose. best guard dog you've ever seen. someone tried to steal him a while ago, the neighbor was pissed when they brought him back.
TheBuddha ago
Chickens poop on everything.
I built them a chicken house and they hardly ever sleep in it. They get on top of it and poop on it.
drstrangegov ago
hehe....yes, their repulsiveness is charming.