maybe you've recently seen me acting weird, or out of character, or completely fucking nuts, and i need to know if something here is normal. i just had to delete some posts after doing something very stupid that probably should have had some thought applied to it, and coming from me that's quite a statement.
you've seen the injured breadwinner post i'm sure, here's an update on that.
he's walking right now, but he's not quite mobile. it's clear any ability to move right now comes at the cost of immense pain for him, that he's slowed down massively, that for a very long time he'll be healing and that right now he's injured and in very deep pain. i wasnt quite "angry" before, not like this, but actually seeing him physically hurting just sort of threw me over the edge of a cliff and right now i dont how to read my situation.
i need someone who isn't me to give me some advice here because the moment i try looking at this situation directly, i start getting angry on a basic biological level.
is it normal to look at family member who is injured, at the fault of no one, get a large amount of anger built up from the basic protective instinct of family, but not have anything to throw that anger at?
all i know is that if i could heal him back up to full health right now, at the cost of burning down voat and every single one of it's users i would say "yes" immediately as would every other person if put into this situation, i'm sure.
can someone not involved in my situation please tell me whether or not i'm completely off my rocker right now, or how to deal with these feelings?
it's literally impossible for me to look directly at this situation with a clear head right now, i need outside input.
heygeorge ago
No adult in their right mind would equate destroying a plaything with magical healing, because those are the thought processes of children.
But it’s very likely you are precisely that. You know that no one under 14 is to browse Voat, correct?
Hand_of_Node ago
https://iwalk-free.com/product-introduction/
That looks like a great alternative to crutches. My one broken bone in six decades was when I stupidly threw an explosive device too late, and the detonation turned my thumb into hamburger meat. It's a bit thinner, but thanks to modern medicine they were able to reconstruct it.
Have had a bad ankle sprain, and suspect a clean break is the better alternative. Good luck with your healing, and do take it seriously.
crazy_eyes ago
A farmer and his son had a beloved stallion who helped the family earn a living. One day, the horse ran away and their neighbors exclaimed, “Your horse ran away, what terrible luck!” The farmer replied, “Maybe so, maybe not. We’ll see.”
A few days later, the horse returned home, leading a few wild mares back to the farm as well. The neighbors shouted out, “Your horse has returned, and brought several horses home with him. What great luck!” The farmer replied, “Maybe so, maybe not. We’ll see.”
Later that week, the farmer’s son was trying to break one of the mares and she threw him to the ground, breaking his leg. The villagers cried, “Your son broke his leg, what terrible luck!” The farmer replied, “Maybe so, maybe not. We’ll see.”
A few weeks later, soldiers from the national army marched through town, recruiting all the able-bodied boys for the army. They did not take the farmer’s son, still recovering from his injury. Friends shouted, “Your boy is spared, what tremendous luck!” To which the farmer replied, “Maybe so, maybe not. We’ll see.”
Lavender7 ago
Is this written by an A.I.? wierd
performance ago
What the fuck is this post about? You do sound mental, OP, since you've provided no background info.
daskapitalist ago
"all i know is that if i could heal him back up to full health right now, at the cost of burning down voat and every single one of it's users i would say "yes" immediately as would every other person if put into this situation, i'm sure."
This is...well, let's put a positive spin on it and call it "deeply tribal". You should consider why hypothetically trading the welfare of uninvolved bystanders for the welfare of one relative is ethical in your mind. It's certainly a highly frustrating situation because of how powerless you feel. However, if your in-group preference is that high, it would be a good idea to consider how you're aligning your moral compass. A trolley problem is one thing...but you come across as the sort who'd leave a stranger in a bathtub full of ice if your relative needed a kidney.
Hail_Odin ago
Thank you for posting the links. It's frustration. Take a break from Voat. Use every waking minute to either help your loved one directly, or to help in the house, or to make money. Action, not self-reflection is what will help you. It will be hard as hell. May Thor give you strength.
6h057 ago
Yeah, your reaction is waaaay beyond what's expected from that sort of situation. I'd find someone professional to talk to before you snap or do something drastic.
Hail_Odin ago
Please provide links. I have no idea what you are talking about. Some of us peruse Voat only occasionally
theoldones ago
this would be about before i saw the guys injury in action: https://voat.co/v/AskVoat/3040344
Goathole ago
sounds kind of immature to me, as in not socially adept at handling problems and dependent upon others for existence.
You should fix that. It's not "love" that drives you, it's something else, something impure.
theoldones ago
i know what drives me and i'm just trying to make sense of the world with the best knowledge i have from life.
scoopadoop ago
You are not crazy. being angry at things out of your control is pretty normal. just make sure you do not direct that anger inwards. just because you cannot see a way help directly does not mean you are failing in any way.
psimonster ago
If you drink alcohol, stop until you resolve this situation.
YoHomie ago
What the fuck are you mad at? I didn't read your post.
theoldones ago
family members hurt, nothing and no one can be blamed for it. nothing i can do will magically heal him. if burning down voat could in fact heal him instantly, i would do it in a heartbeat. but, it wouldn't help at all. all i can do is watch a family member be hurt.
i have zero idea how to handle this right now.
sguevar ago
My advise will always be the one: Trust in God. Talk to Jesus as your best friend in the privacy of your room. Know that everything and anything that happens in this life has a purpose. Learn to use the suffering you have in this life as learning lessons so you can help others that are in your current situation. So you can strengthen your character. So you can serve as a testimony of God's Word.
Don't blind your judgement with anger and other substances. Love yourself by loving God and try to find peace by looking for Jesus.
Matthew 11:28-29 - KJV
Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls.
I wish you no ill, I hope you can find the rest and peace that you need and deserve. Godspeed.
YoHomie ago
Blow that god shit out your ass, she needs advice, not bullshit.
Diggernicks ago
Wish in one hand
Shit in the other
16851755? ago
Best advice I can give is focus that anger/frustration into helping, helping them and helping yourself. You could also go get out in some nature and talk with one of the gods. That helps me when I know I ain't thinking straight and need to work out something that is bothering me.
Seventh_Jim ago
Anger is part of the grieving process. Grief is not just for death, but any loss, including the strength of a loved one.
You feel taken from. That is okay. Use it as best you can to help. Try and remove yourself from the injured person when you feel this way; you are not creating a healing presence and may worsen their feelings of guilt. Your anger should be yours to carry, not your family's.
Go split wood or some other high output chore.
WORF_MOTORBOATS_TROI ago
I dont think I saw the posts you're referencing.
Are you unaccustomed to seeing bad things happen to people you love? It's normal to feel anxious or driven to take some kind of action, and you might be interpreting that as anger. Some of it has to do with being confronted with your own helplessness or your own mortality. Some people will make casseroles or help out with chores, child care, or in other ways. You want to to do something that you can control or find a way to take some control of something to help alleviate that feeling.
Example: When I was younger my mom had a cancer scare I needed to go out and meet girls and get laid. I felt like "holy shit my mom could die, what am I doing with my life" and like getting laid would help me feel alive. It felt like a weird reaction and I didn't understand it at the time.
theoldones ago
there's the need for some type of action towards type of goal, it just keeps building like some kind of burning heat and if i don't find something useful to vent it at something's getting burnt down anyways be it friend or foe.
i'll, try to find something i actually have some hope of directly changing/helping here then. okay, yeah, this feels like the best advice so far.
WORF_MOTORBOATS_TROI ago
Maybe try building an end table or a fishing rod holder or something. When the shit isn't going together like you want it to you can take all your aggression out by smashing it to pieces and starting over again. If you manage to finish it you can give it to the person you're worried about and say "I felt like I needed to do something but I didn't know what to do so I made this." If it were my family, they'd understand and they would appreciate it. Some families express their appreciation for one another differently than others, but in my family they would understand and they would appreciate it.
not_drunk ago
Sounds like frustration and not anger.
You can't directly change someone else's luck or healing.
But improving your health can prevent/reduce injuries.
Suggest preventative maintenance- Exercise, eat well, and be productive. You will feel better.
Lead by example.
theoldones ago
its very likely frustration. if it is that though it's a version that goes all the way down to basic family protective instinct, and it's overriding my normal sense of logic, and i dont know how to deal with this.
Hand_of_Node ago
How hard do you currently exercise? Set a goal to be physically prepared by exercising and physically exhausting yourself. You will both become stronger, and you'll work off that frustration. If you're not a member of a gym, there's plenty you can do outside that setting. Pushups, situps, crunches, jumping jacks, and etc. Do a search for: exercising without equipment
theoldones ago
there's a proper weightlifting bar i'd be using right now if it wasn't buried under literally 4 feet of snow. all i have right now is equipment-less exercise, and tiny-one hand weights (highest i have is 10 pounds).
it's been snowing like a motherfucker here all winter, everything's been snowed in and too cold to go outside. the windows on one side of the house have been snow-blocked for so long. i've been stuck here in cabin-fever mode and i'm so fucking restless it not's even funny
Hand_of_Node ago
Just grabbed that from the top result. All you need is floor space of about 6' x 8' to do it all. Here's the search: exercising without equipment
Choose whichever site works for you. The best thing about this solution is that you already need to be doing this anyway. You could go out and shovel snow too, but a daily session of these exercises is very likely to take some of the edge off of your frustration. In the common motivational parlance of voat, do it, faggot!
Fambida ago
Welcome to being human. Sometimes we have to watch those we love get old and die. Sometimes getting old happens early. It's not easy. It hurts a lot. And this won't be the last time either. Everyone you love will either die before you, or see you die. As you get older you'll see it happen more and more.
There is no cure, eventually you'll be so worn out from seeing everyone you love die that you'll long for it yourself. And one day, finally, you'll get the sweet release of death yourself.
theoldones ago
how the fuck do i deal with the fact stuff like this is going to happen over and over again, regardless of how i how try to help or intervene.
Fambida ago
There's nothing you can do. You toughen up.
CameraCode ago
Read this book. It's about changing how you react to your emotions to better deal with challenges in your life, be more productive, and feel better. The methods are scientifically proven to work. You can also get a used copy for a few dollars. http://gen.lib.rus.ec/search.php?req=Feeling+good+handbook&lg_topic=libgen&open=0&view=simple&res=25&phrase=1&column=def
not_drunk ago
Best you can do.. prepare for the future.
You are not helpless. You are an intelligent and compassionate person.