maybe you've recently seen me acting weird, or out of character, or completely fucking nuts, and i need to know if something here is normal. i just had to delete some posts after doing something very stupid that probably should have had some thought applied to it, and coming from me that's quite a statement.
you've seen the injured breadwinner post i'm sure, here's an update on that.
he's walking right now, but he's not quite mobile. it's clear any ability to move right now comes at the cost of immense pain for him, that he's slowed down massively, that for a very long time he'll be healing and that right now he's injured and in very deep pain. i wasnt quite "angry" before, not like this, but actually seeing him physically hurting just sort of threw me over the edge of a cliff and right now i dont how to read my situation.
i need someone who isn't me to give me some advice here because the moment i try looking at this situation directly, i start getting angry on a basic biological level.
is it normal to look at family member who is injured, at the fault of no one, get a large amount of anger built up from the basic protective instinct of family, but not have anything to throw that anger at?
all i know is that if i could heal him back up to full health right now, at the cost of burning down voat and every single one of it's users i would say "yes" immediately as would every other person if put into this situation, i'm sure.
can someone not involved in my situation please tell me whether or not i'm completely off my rocker right now, or how to deal with these feelings?
it's literally impossible for me to look directly at this situation with a clear head right now, i need outside input.
view the rest of the comments →
WORF_MOTORBOATS_TROI ago
I dont think I saw the posts you're referencing.
Are you unaccustomed to seeing bad things happen to people you love? It's normal to feel anxious or driven to take some kind of action, and you might be interpreting that as anger. Some of it has to do with being confronted with your own helplessness or your own mortality. Some people will make casseroles or help out with chores, child care, or in other ways. You want to to do something that you can control or find a way to take some control of something to help alleviate that feeling.
Example: When I was younger my mom had a cancer scare I needed to go out and meet girls and get laid. I felt like "holy shit my mom could die, what am I doing with my life" and like getting laid would help me feel alive. It felt like a weird reaction and I didn't understand it at the time.
theoldones ago
there's the need for some type of action towards type of goal, it just keeps building like some kind of burning heat and if i don't find something useful to vent it at something's getting burnt down anyways be it friend or foe.
i'll, try to find something i actually have some hope of directly changing/helping here then. okay, yeah, this feels like the best advice so far.
WORF_MOTORBOATS_TROI ago
Maybe try building an end table or a fishing rod holder or something. When the shit isn't going together like you want it to you can take all your aggression out by smashing it to pieces and starting over again. If you manage to finish it you can give it to the person you're worried about and say "I felt like I needed to do something but I didn't know what to do so I made this." If it were my family, they'd understand and they would appreciate it. Some families express their appreciation for one another differently than others, but in my family they would understand and they would appreciate it.