maybe you've recently seen me acting weird, or out of character, or completely fucking nuts, and i need to know if something here is normal. i just had to delete some posts after doing something very stupid that probably should have had some thought applied to it, and coming from me that's quite a statement.

you've seen the injured breadwinner post i'm sure, here's an update on that.

he's walking right now, but he's not quite mobile. it's clear any ability to move right now comes at the cost of immense pain for him, that he's slowed down massively, that for a very long time he'll be healing and that right now he's injured and in very deep pain. i wasnt quite "angry" before, not like this, but actually seeing him physically hurting just sort of threw me over the edge of a cliff and right now i dont how to read my situation.

i need someone who isn't me to give me some advice here because the moment i try looking at this situation directly, i start getting angry on a basic biological level.

is it normal to look at family member who is injured, at the fault of no one, get a large amount of anger built up from the basic protective instinct of family, but not have anything to throw that anger at?

all i know is that if i could heal him back up to full health right now, at the cost of burning down voat and every single one of it's users i would say "yes" immediately as would every other person if put into this situation, i'm sure.

can someone not involved in my situation please tell me whether or not i'm completely off my rocker right now, or how to deal with these feelings?

it's literally impossible for me to look directly at this situation with a clear head right now, i need outside input.