Newmemba ago

maybe you are queer?

or high latency in that direction?

Malayar ago

Nah

Madie49 ago

You guys need to go find a school of nursing and date one of those ladies. Often they LOVE taking care of folk (not always, but often) and are more inclined to be independent. So my advice to YOU is to NOT abuse their often generous nature. And thinking you can never be friends? Sorry for you; you sure limit the Hell out of yourselves. MAGA

dontforgetaboutevil ago

It's not impossible. It's just the single most difficult thing on Earth.

mntwins001 ago

You can be friends as long as you don’t find her attractive.

totes_magotes ago

There's also no such thing as "no strings attached" sex. They get attached. I did this once with an older woman. The only thing that was a deal breaker for me was that she constantly wanted to compare me to people in her past. But since she was going through a really bad time in her life, I felt it was worth seeing if that was a personality trait or a coping mechanism because she was (for me) about perfect in every other way.

Turns out that she started getting attached and never stopped comparing me. So I dropped that shit.

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PewterKey ago

I would say it's not impossible, but unlikely. Basically men and women can only be friend when mutual unattraction exists. When both side don't want to fuck ever, it's possible.

For young men that's hard. As men get older it's a little easier. For women it's harder as they get older as they get less attention and they start to cling to men around them.

ViperCarbz ago

No reason to be a friend zone guy. Good lesson. Move on and cut all contact.

a_fucking_dude ago

Your generation is retarded. I know that you're that way because you were shaped into that by the educational system and your Montel-worshipping mother, but you are cognitively impaired nonetheless. You can't be friends with a woman because your mother is a liar whore who brainwashed you. Women can't be honest with you because they rightly perceive that you will judge them wrongly and harshly(because of your lying slut mother's brainwashing). You are right not to trust women, because you are not a man who engenders trustworthiness. They are right to be dishonest with you because the truth is squandered on your fake, self-righteous judgy little face.

Welp.

pepeshadilay ago

I find that it is possible to spend time alone with a lady and it doesn't have to go to sex. If a girl likes to talk and I find her chatter interesting, there's nothing wrong with listening to her for as long as it is entertaining. This is not "friendship" per se but it's not enmity.

15952311? ago

yeah, it goes oddly sexual :/

fuck-your-world ago

Just treat them like shit and fuck them.

Mutual satisfaction.

stric9 ago

Ha. When a girl says you only want sex is her way of getting sex. We were never meant to be friends. Friends are loyal, honest, humble bla bla bla. They are the kind of person men wouldn't be if they wanted to sleep at night. That being said... Did she have nice tits?

WORF_MOTORBOATS_TROI ago

What did your husband say, you whore?

HenryCabotLodge ago

Praying Mantis .

Splooge ago

Here's my secret. Whenever I meet a woman, my immediate thought and approach is always "what can you do for me?" Everything I do, everything I say is then in pursuit of that. I want coffee, will she buy me coffee? I'd like a new shirt, will she go with me to the mall and buy me a shirt I pick out? I find being blunt helps a lot.

Do that long enough and you weed out the leeches. The ones that are left either become weirdly attracted to you (but you keep them friend-zoned), stop asking you for shit because they understand the nature of the dynamic and know they can't get one over on you but will keep buying you stuff in exchange for words of wisdom, or eventually develop into a relationship that's give and take on your terms.

Artofchoke ago

This is gross. We don't need to have parasitic relationships, and if that's the best you can hope for, why bother at all?

Splooge ago

Please tell me what you find parasitic about what I've described.

Artofchoke ago

People using each other, leeching off each other, playing demented mind games. Why would you associate with a female who could be manipulated in this way? Why would you associate with a female you have no respect for? There are plenty of girls with their own money. Why not find one you have things in common with and enjoy the company of, rather than this weird nonsense?

Splooge ago

Thank you for clarifying. I will do my best to return the same:

People using each other, leeching off each other, playing demented mind games.

Left to their own devices, women use, leech and play mind games. This is a general statement of course -- but the exceptions prove the rule. I personally have yet to meet an exception, but you can bet your ass that when I do, I will marry her.

I don't think what I do is considered a mind game -- I am merely aware of how women generally function and have taken preemptive steps to avoid being used, leeched off of or played with.

Mind games would be constantly deceiving a woman and making her feel valued when she isn't, telling her what she wants to hear to get something from her (be it sex, gifts or otherwise) or lying to her. I do none of these things -- again, you will see I very clearly stated in my OP that being straightforward and blunt is key to all this. So once again, I cannot see where you would get "parasitic" from. Women don't pay my rent or bills, I do.

Would you consider it parasitic if a woman expected me to buy her dinner? If not, why is it parasitic if I openly ask her to buy me dinner? Bear in mind, I have no expectations, and I certainly don't get pissy or huffy if I don't get my way.

A woman will rarely tell you what she truly wants when she wants something. She is a creature of emotion, not logic. This particular bit comes to mind.

Why would you associate with a female who could be manipulated in this way?

I wonder what I want, I confirm she has the means to obtain it, I ask for it. I do this openly, I don't lie about it. I won't tell her she looks pretty when she looks like shit, I won't agree that her boss is a jerk if he isn't, I won't tell her she's special to me if she isn't, I won't cry to get her to stay if she wants to leave, I won't compliment her to get in her pants.

If this is manipulation to you, I shudder to imagine what you think of the things most typical women do to get their way, or the men that routinely do the things I just listed.

Why would you associate with a female you have no respect for?

This is a Strawman, as I do not associate with females I have no respect for. In fact, I would argue that I have more respect for women on the whole because I do not believe in deceiving them the way other men prefer to.

Much in the same way women will view men, I also do not associate with females that have nothing to offer me -- I do not consider sex an adequate trade for my time, money or energy, and you know what? Neither will most women (when they're evaluating another man).

There are plenty of girls with their own money.

Yes, they're the ones I'm interested in. Less likely that they'll try to go after me for mine (although that's an unreliable assumption, as some girls get "their own money" by using other men).

Why not find one you have things in common with and enjoy the company of, rather than this weird nonsense?

I do, I don't understand why you're suggesting I'm not. I'm also a bit miffed by what you're referring to as "weird nonsense" -- if you presented what I wrote to just about any woman, if they're being honest they'll tell you they do the exact same thing to men, except they aren't open about it.

Artofchoke ago

The women who do this shit are scum. They should be exiled and sterilized. Unfortunately, men are simpletons who function more from the pants than the head, and they continue to pander and fawn, and the circle of horseshit continues.
I blame men for the revolting behavior of women. You get what you tolerate.

Is it parasitic to buy dinner for a date... no, if you genuinely wish to do that, and aren't feeling forced to do it because otherwise you're considered a "cheap busted ass". When money gets involved, there are expectations. Everybody should pay for their own shit whenever possible. If one party is wealthier and comfortable doing so, sure, feel free to pay. But never because you are being shamed into it. What you are doing is what whores do - pressuring someone into spending on you. Asking for gifts? Fucking inappropriate. What does your date think she is to you? What is your goal in these relationships? What do you provide them in return? If the answer isn't something with a value akin to what you are taking? It's parasitic.

I'm disappointed. Don't stoop to the level of empty cunts and whores. You're a goat, goddamnit.

You spend time on this humanity-draining nonsense, you hurt yourself. You reduce yourself. Why would you spend ONE SECOND of your finite seconds engaged in this sort of game. Does it make you proud? Do you respect this?

It's weird nonsense because you know better. And rather than shunning superficial cunts, you would attempt to "beat them at their own game". Petty. Weird. Time sink.

You aren't getting to know these women, you're using them. It's base and superficial. It's time you could spend doing things that fulfill you, and enrich you, make your life richer.

I know females who do this shit, it's disgusting. It reduces them. Why would that not be the case when a male does it.

There's a raccoon on my face, be back later, damnit.

Splooge ago

I don't know why you're making so many false accusations of me. I never pressure anyone into buying me anything, I just ask for it. Are you gonna tell me you've never asked for anything? How do you get anything at all? When someone asks you to get them something do you immediately snap back with "Fucking inappropriate"?

It seems no matter what I say you're dead set on painting me as a parasite. I get the holier-than-thou attitude, I really do, but jeez maybe you need to get laid or something.

I'll say it one more time -- I don't associate with cunts, whores (superficial or otherwise).

You're being a complete dick, accusing me of all kinds of crazy shit, like I'm not getting to know these women, that I'm pressuring them, trying to beat anyone at anyone else's game -- what else do you know about me? Time that I can spend doing things that fulfill and enrich me? What do you know of how I spend my time or what I do? How much time do you think I actually spend on anything? How enriched am I? Do you know that too?

I don't need your approval nor your permission to buy dinner or ask for it -- why would it matter who's wealthier anyway? I didn't know you were the one who set the standards for social interaction (based on sexist class assumptions no less). I'm not the one calling for the exile and sterilization of women by the way, nice going.

Knock it off with the strawmanning already, or you know, don't. I guess it makes you feel more comfortable to picture me lying and cheating all these helpless innocent dumb naive women so I can pay rent with the money they make waiting tables right?

Artofchoke ago

I'm a degenerate. If I want something, I take it. There's no pretense of superiority here, Sir.

I don't set any standards but my own, same as everybody.

To try and make this about me is you deflecting from your own shame and discomfort. All I know about you is what you've shared - I have no profile of you. What you shared makes you seem petty and weird. Certainly this is only one aspect of you. And you do not need my permission! You're a goat! If you are truly comfortable with this arrangement you've created, sally forth. Doesn't sound like you are, though.

I'm in a fairly even income relationship. Whoever pays whenever - often me. If I felt used, or resentful, anything remotely like that, I'd stop. Money is gauche. Talking about it is gauche. Asking for shit is tawdry and gauche. But again, why mention me? If I'm the worst sort of hypocrite, what would that mean for you, and your choices?

We are talking about you.

If it made me feel comfortable to imagine you engaging in parasitic whore games, this conversation would never have occurred. I prefer to picture goats as ....free. enlightened. Honest. Above this sort of shit.

If manipulative lying whores were sterilized, they wouldn't raise yet another generation of personality deficient leeches. There's no universe where that would be a bad thing. In fact, if manipulative lying whores were sterilized, I suggest they may undergo changes and become less mercenary - We are mercenary due to evolutionary imperatives to provide for offspring. Remove that possibility, the person becomes free to live as themselves, for themselves. There's purity. :)

wintertriangles ago

Doing what parasitic women do is parasitic

TheWheelofTime ago

I figured out everything you're saying in my 20s. In fact, it's especially common for married women to do this. They'll have a husband taking care of them and their kids(that often aren't his) and they'll have a guy on the side. A lot of the times, it's not about who has the bigger dick or who makes the most money, it's just that most people only understand stepping on someone or being stepped on. A woman like this, regardless of how great looking a guy is, how awesome he is in bed, the money he makes, once she believes in her mind she has the upper hand on him, she'll run all over him until there is nothing left to take and then leave an empty shell behind in her wake. This can be hard to recognize too because often when a lady is in love with you that first year or year and a half, you can't get a good beat on them. I find it is easy to spot them now due to lifestyle choices and with conversation.

What I do now is try and date ladies there is some potential with, ladies with the ability to see the bigger picture. That's extremely difficult to find as most ladies divorced and 30+ with kids are a fucking wreck. Their kids are shit. Their attitudes are even worse. Their entitlement issues are off the charts. I could easily play most of these for whatever I want but it's just not worth it to me anymore.

What I do now is date sometimes to meet someone I enjoy spending time with. On the side I will date one or two types:

Type 1: Sugarbaby who is going to get dinner, maybe a couple gifts or help with bills who is younger, hot and is a great lay. They are pleasant. We don't spend a ton of time together. Sometimes it's a date and sometimes they'll come over while I'm grilling and get some sweet peter.

Type 2: A lady I'll take out on a date, fuck but really have no interest in anything long term. She'll want to come over. I'll tell her I'm tired. I'll often make her bring me food over. The less I want to see her, the more shit she'll offer to buy me. I have had them buy me shirts, TV, TV mounts, a PS4, videogames, Blue Rays, etc. At the same time, going to the mall with them or out to eat with them on a regular basis seems like too much of a waste of time to me so I usually just have them come over sometimes and bring me some pussy and dinner.

fuckmyreddit ago

Wow. You are a sleaze. I hope you end up alone. No woman deserves Wheel of Time ego and greed. You're a thot with a penis.

blackzetsu ago

Type 2: A lady I'll take out on a date, fuck but really have no interest in anything long term. She'll want to come over again. I'll tell her I'm tired or busy but she can come over after 8 or so. I'll often make her bring me food. The less I want to see her, the more shit she'll offer to buy me. I have had them buy me shirts, TV, TV mounts, a PS4, videogames, Blue Rays, etc. At the same time, going to the mall with them or out to eat with them on a regular basis seems like too much of a waste of time to me so I usually just have them come over and bring me some pussy and dinner.

Your a disgusting person.

TheWheelofTime ago

Why would you think that? I can't make anyone have values, have long term relationship goals or STFU for more than 5 minutes at a time. I'm not lying to anyone. If they don't want to come over then don't. If I threw myself at them they wouldn't want me. I can't take a lady who is self centered, can't stop staring at her phone more than 5 minutes and turn her into a suitable partner. You can only treat people the way they allow you to treat them.

Splooge ago

Your type two actually works out better for you in terms of keeping them "hooked." If you take a type 2 out in public too much (and the threshold varies wildly), you start getting "rebellious" behavior. The woman thinks you're "showing her off" and whether or not she likes the attention (they usually do), they'll start doing dumb shit to either try to make you jealous or act resentful like you're sexualizing them, even though no one's telling them to push their tits up in a dress or anything.

Keeping them at home (or other comfortable private setting) slightly disarms the woman by taking away an external source of attention and returning that control to you. They can still act resentful in this setting, but the line to "cross" is much higher. You'll find in extreme cases (an untenable type 2) that they'll commonly hurt themselves and call the police or wait and later complain to friends and family that you're abusive.

Obviously, if you've gotten to that point, you messed up long ago. Still, not all is lost -- make sure to get gift receipts whenever possible for evidenciary purposes. I personally have a wireless IP camera set up in all my common areas. They don't record until activated by a spoken passphrase.

I think the biggest key to success about all this is to recognize that being straight forward and blunt is not the same as being a dick or asshole. I try my very hardest to always be polite -- please and thank you and are you warm enough and all that.

Kill-Commies ago

I personally have a wireless IP camera set up in all my common areas. They don't record until activated by a spoken passphrase.

either you've been through some serious shit with women, or your mom was a fucking psycho.

Splooge ago

Both, but more the former (indirectly thank goodness).

Without saying too much, I spent a few years in a rough part of town for a job handling customer complaints. You know how everyone would have you think domestic violence is perpetrated by 99% male and 1% female (but he totally deserved it right)? From what I saw over the course of about five years, the figures were more 60/40 women.

Some woman would show up in tears, asking me for help, her boyfriend just beat her up and tried to kill her. She'll show me her bruises, torn blouse, the works. Then we'd review surveillance footage of the area and see her bashing herself in the face with a lamp till it broke (the lamp, not her face), picking up a shard of porcelain, threatening the male with it briefly before slicing herself across the chest with it.

The scariest part is the two-phase transformation. You track the woman on CCTV as she makes her way towards where I am, and the face goes from determined deranged fury to waterworks. Then you call her out on her bullshit. But you can't do it directly, at least not yet. It's always in the form of a question: "Is there any reason you can think of why CCTV might show you injuring yourself?"

Then the second phase. The tears evaporate. The jawline hardens, lips pressed into a thin line. Now she's angry at me for having the nerve to not outright believe her. Occasionally they attack at that point. Sometimes not if you're lucky.

The males never want to take any action against them -- in fact, the figures I provided don't take into account the males that are actually beaten badly by their women (to the point of drawing blood) stay silent about it.

So... yeah. I don't wanna get accused of anything. An ounce of caution now to avoid a ton of trouble later.

TheWheelofTime ago

HAHAHA I don't even get that deep into it, don't need to. I never sleep with them on the first date. If I get a lady and she is indecisive, making out heavy then wanting to stop and then wanting to start again that is a red flag to me and we're not having sex. If one ever gets loud or aggressive then that's it. They're never coming back over. But like I said, I screen them out pretty good. I haven't had anything like that happen in years. I've just become so good at spotting them. Also, I have no need of them financially and it's not like I don't have other options. If I see things escalating, I'll be nice. If they keep going then I say "what do you want? " They never seem to have an answer for that. But once they start acting that way they're not coming back over.

Splooge ago

Hey, whatever floats your boat, friend. I find this sort of stuff fascinating and enjoy doing these little amateur psychoanalyses.

blackzetsu ago

"I have a confession to make and I hope you don't take this personally. You remember that widget you got me last week? I was reading in the news about that [cause] that's been affecting so many [victim group] and it really made me think about what I'm grateful for. This beautiful home, a great gal like you, I've got everything I need. So I looked at the widget and thought 'it's not the widget, it's the fact you thought of me' and that's enough to make me happy. I wanted to give back, even just a little, to make things a little more right in the world you know? So I sold it and donated the money to [charity]. I hope you understand. Bam. Brownie points and a story for her to tell all her friends about you."

This is gold.

neogag ago

once she believes in her mind she has the upper hand on him, she'll run all over him until there is nothing left to take and then leave an empty shell behind in her wake

Entirely accurate, not only in relationship contexts.

Chempergrill ago

Most guys do.

If you want to date a girl, start by dating her, never as a friend.

If you want to know what's behind this, and why you had to learn the hard way, come to v/theredpill and start reading the sidebar.

Hand_of_Node ago

The 'r' version went to hell after 5K subs, because a huge percentage of the new people were mainly there for "the worst sub on reddit".

matthew-- ago

Asktrp is even better (worse)

The one saving grace is the sidebar content and recommended readings.

tokui ago

Bc your not a sperm shitter.