OK I looked at the first three links and went to the second pages on each......big big creeps......that's enough for me today!
I didn't dig deeper for names or other links. This website imagery is from my experience, pure old fashioned MK ULTRA graphics. It's the sort that was used on me, in the green plastic Ivy boxes Dr. Ross describes in The CIA Doctors. They were early pioneers of psychedelic color's and psychedelic imagery combined with stroboscopic effects, plus your getting it on LSD, also their project. I didn't have a name for LSD back then, just super weirdness for hours. Forgetting who I was that was always the worst. Taking it voluntarily with friends years later, I had a lot of very bad trips and quickly gave it up, herb and me get along just fine. The MK Doctors had inject-able stuff as well, but blue roofies were their norm. With the flashing and the disharmonic noises, it's meant to make the porn images seep into your head quick and get normalized.
Trigger Warning: Your bound and sedated, eyes pinned wide open forcing you see this kind of strobiscopic imagery thirty minutes at a time as I recall, with a "kind" young nurse putting drops in your eyes on schedule, and sexually stimulated by someone you can't see, all at the same time. I hope that wasn't too much. You all got to have strong stomachs just to be on this site.
Well that's fun, I haven't been called a girl in years. I'm a fighter yes, with a powerful friend. Otherwise I wouldn't be here.
My MK contact was back in the 50's-60's. My memories were kept from me until just a few years ago, when "they would be safer to remember".
I can speak of them here without re-traumatizing myself because I've written them down notebook form, in the past several years. I'll stick to those parts. This writing it down has a remarkable capacity to heal horror in our mind. I also wear a watch, never did before, it helps. Read Cathy O'brien, PTSD on Amazon. she has the good words for healing ourselves.
Unmentioned here is that many people in society (and on Voat today) experienced Childhood Sexual Abuse. CSA affects 1 in 6 males and 1 in 4 females. 1 out of 5 Americans suffered unwanted sexual contact as a minor with a person of greater power, prestige, strength or age. It's very roughly 80% family abuse.
Common ordinary CSA leaves scars that never fully heal. Ritual abuse gets deeper, and MK goes further yet. Just imagine the amazing place and peace we will have here on earth, without pedophilia. It's going to be totally awesome!!!
Thanks for your great reply, you made me smile! Girl haha, hope that made you smile! That's absolutely fascinating. I guess this was the time that MK was in full swing. I'm so happy you found a way to get through, thanks to your powerful friend. You're blessed. So happy also that writing your memories down helped you to heal and that Kathy O'brain's words gave you support in that process.
And yes, I believe too that many, many here on this Voat verse have experienced childhood sexual abuse, or have been affected by it happening to their family members and / or friends. We make an extremely powerful army against it!! Those stats you posted are mind blowing. I knew they were high but this is incredible. Thanks for this info, I will keep it and use it.
And yes, those scars never ever heal. When I see alcoholics, drug addicts and homeless people on the streets I always wonder what they went though as children. This knowledge gives one another perspective. You really are blessed to have gotten through this, as tough as it was, and must still be. I admire you greatly.
Thank you also for your positive words! YES, it WILL BE AWESOME!!! We pray for that day. God bless you, and look forward to seeing you around here. Feel free to ping me any time :)
Wow, your blowing me away. Bless You back! Anyone speaking of these experiences has to fight through their own shame. We are seeking to be heard without further condemnation, it's all about that. To acknowledge or show one's shame is likely to attract further attack. That is what the abused child learns in the world. Your tough face is your savings often, and don't let them get around behind your back. I was the fastest boy on the play ground, but still sometimes chosen for the sissy. You learn to fake it, been doing that 60+ years.
This forum is awesome, I don't have a voice for this part of my history in my "real life".
Robert David Steele, ex CIA has a five point plan for Trump to solve pizzagate Deep State etc. Point 5 is that we need like a South African truth and reconciliation approach. Charges were dropped in return for full confessions from those most involved in the atrocities. In this way the truth could come out, it was the only way. People in power never admit to anything without immunity. We need the truth out, vindication is for buzzards. I could contribute in such an environment with public testimony. I would never risk being point man in some law suit against these chumps while their still linked arm in arm. My life is good now, I deserve it. Their problems start in the next.
Those are shocking stats NO? Males are underground still about abuse. I'm working with someone else putting some of that together.
I'd posted about it here https://voat.co/v/pizzagate/1773454 and the whole subject only stayed up a minute more. That's discouraging after working at it 30 minutes and feeling good about it being useful to people.
Heyy : ). I'm sorry I'm late with my reply to you! Greetings!
Thank you for your blessings, and again for sharing some of your experiences and knowledge here. Happy Easter : )
I felt such an idiot assuming you were a female, I'm so very sorry about that. I'm a klutz! I ignorantly assumed you were a female survivor of MU, and kicked myself for that ignorance. You were so very gracious. Thank you for that.
Shame seems to be such a debilitating emotion even for people who haven't experienced 1% of what you must have, and I know tough on survivors. I can understand that it can be a fight with ones own shame to talk about these type of experiences and admire you greatly for pushing through it.
I thought about the award winning Ted Talk on shame, and how inspirational I and millions of others found it. I wonder if you've seen it? It's on YouTube.
It's wonderful that you've found this place and can have a voice for that part of your life. I look forward to seeing you here!
I read with interest your thoughts on how this all might be solved in a similar way to the situation in South Africa was. It's extremely forward thinking and I believe it could work like this you know. You're right in that people in power would never admit anything like this without immunity. Let us pray that that time comes, and soon!! I like your ideas.
I looked at your post, however I think there was something wrong with the link as I got and still do get a deleted joke post about Alefantis being arrested? https://voat.co/v/pizzagate/1773454
Any way, I'm real sorry to hear your work was deleted. It's difficult at first to know how to get your post to stick. Maybe have a look at my past submissions, and you'll see a post I made about this recently. If you resubmit it in the format suggested in the post it should stay up, likewise your future posts.
Good luck with your work, and I look forward to reading your posts! You are so right in that males are still underground about abuse. I've read a bit about it over the years, and understand the stigma and shame that can be around it. Another thing that could use change. Kudos for helping it along! If I can help with anything, any time on here, simply ping me : )
Your response is very encouraging. Many thanks. I'm on vacation, so haven't been regular online.
Shame is a huge big deal for all survivors. It serves the abusers, helping to keep it all hidden away, while eroding confidence all ones life. I've made a good show of it but my self confidence is primarily a deeper you bastards are never going to get the best of me. A stubborn streak, fire in the belly type thing.
My comment was in that joke Alafantis post. I've not worked up the nerve to make an original POST, but I look for places to ad info to the discussion, particularly the 1 in 6. org info..
Their 10 point self questionnaire about PTSD from supressed CSA was an eye opener for me. I got a 90% and said to myself, time to look into these submarine memories more.
I'm three years into it, and slowly growing stronger inside.
Writing to you is fun and feels for real, writing to this VOAT space where it all disappears in hours, is boring me, feels useless. (except it's making connections like this happen) Without a conversation that lasts, we are pissing in the wind, NO? Is anything progressing or just repeats of old info like seems the increasing norm? I can't follow it all.
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SavedbyJCfromRSA_MK ago
OK I looked at the first three links and went to the second pages on each......big big creeps......that's enough for me today!
I didn't dig deeper for names or other links. This website imagery is from my experience, pure old fashioned MK ULTRA graphics. It's the sort that was used on me, in the green plastic Ivy boxes Dr. Ross describes in The CIA Doctors. They were early pioneers of psychedelic color's and psychedelic imagery combined with stroboscopic effects, plus your getting it on LSD, also their project. I didn't have a name for LSD back then, just super weirdness for hours. Forgetting who I was that was always the worst. Taking it voluntarily with friends years later, I had a lot of very bad trips and quickly gave it up, herb and me get along just fine. The MK Doctors had inject-able stuff as well, but blue roofies were their norm. With the flashing and the disharmonic noises, it's meant to make the porn images seep into your head quick and get normalized.
Trigger Warning: Your bound and sedated, eyes pinned wide open forcing you see this kind of strobiscopic imagery thirty minutes at a time as I recall, with a "kind" young nurse putting drops in your eyes on schedule, and sexually stimulated by someone you can't see, all at the same time. I hope that wasn't too much. You all got to have strong stomachs just to be on this site.
privatepizza ago
omg girl, you experienced this. I am so sorry this happened to you. You're so very brave to come here, you must be a fighter?!
May I ask when it all happened? If you don't want to answer that's fine :)
Thanks for coming here to help and educate us, brave soul !
SavedbyJCfromRSA_MK ago
Well that's fun, I haven't been called a girl in years. I'm a fighter yes, with a powerful friend. Otherwise I wouldn't be here.
My MK contact was back in the 50's-60's. My memories were kept from me until just a few years ago, when "they would be safer to remember". I can speak of them here without re-traumatizing myself because I've written them down notebook form, in the past several years. I'll stick to those parts. This writing it down has a remarkable capacity to heal horror in our mind. I also wear a watch, never did before, it helps. Read Cathy O'brien, PTSD on Amazon. she has the good words for healing ourselves.
Unmentioned here is that many people in society (and on Voat today) experienced Childhood Sexual Abuse. CSA affects 1 in 6 males and 1 in 4 females. 1 out of 5 Americans suffered unwanted sexual contact as a minor with a person of greater power, prestige, strength or age. It's very roughly 80% family abuse.
Common ordinary CSA leaves scars that never fully heal. Ritual abuse gets deeper, and MK goes further yet. Just imagine the amazing place and peace we will have here on earth, without pedophilia. It's going to be totally awesome!!!
privatepizza ago
Thanks for your great reply, you made me smile! Girl haha, hope that made you smile! That's absolutely fascinating. I guess this was the time that MK was in full swing. I'm so happy you found a way to get through, thanks to your powerful friend. You're blessed. So happy also that writing your memories down helped you to heal and that Kathy O'brain's words gave you support in that process.
And yes, I believe too that many, many here on this Voat verse have experienced childhood sexual abuse, or have been affected by it happening to their family members and / or friends. We make an extremely powerful army against it!! Those stats you posted are mind blowing. I knew they were high but this is incredible. Thanks for this info, I will keep it and use it.
And yes, those scars never ever heal. When I see alcoholics, drug addicts and homeless people on the streets I always wonder what they went though as children. This knowledge gives one another perspective. You really are blessed to have gotten through this, as tough as it was, and must still be. I admire you greatly.
Thank you also for your positive words! YES, it WILL BE AWESOME!!! We pray for that day. God bless you, and look forward to seeing you around here. Feel free to ping me any time :)
SavedbyJCfromRSA_MK ago
Wow, your blowing me away. Bless You back! Anyone speaking of these experiences has to fight through their own shame. We are seeking to be heard without further condemnation, it's all about that. To acknowledge or show one's shame is likely to attract further attack. That is what the abused child learns in the world. Your tough face is your savings often, and don't let them get around behind your back. I was the fastest boy on the play ground, but still sometimes chosen for the sissy. You learn to fake it, been doing that 60+ years.
This forum is awesome, I don't have a voice for this part of my history in my "real life".
Robert David Steele, ex CIA has a five point plan for Trump to solve pizzagate Deep State etc. Point 5 is that we need like a South African truth and reconciliation approach. Charges were dropped in return for full confessions from those most involved in the atrocities. In this way the truth could come out, it was the only way. People in power never admit to anything without immunity. We need the truth out, vindication is for buzzards. I could contribute in such an environment with public testimony. I would never risk being point man in some law suit against these chumps while their still linked arm in arm. My life is good now, I deserve it. Their problems start in the next.
Those are shocking stats NO? Males are underground still about abuse. I'm working with someone else putting some of that together.
I'd posted about it here https://voat.co/v/pizzagate/1773454 and the whole subject only stayed up a minute more. That's discouraging after working at it 30 minutes and feeling good about it being useful to people.
privatepizza ago
Heyy : ). I'm sorry I'm late with my reply to you! Greetings!
Thank you for your blessings, and again for sharing some of your experiences and knowledge here. Happy Easter : )
I felt such an idiot assuming you were a female, I'm so very sorry about that. I'm a klutz! I ignorantly assumed you were a female survivor of MU, and kicked myself for that ignorance. You were so very gracious. Thank you for that.
Shame seems to be such a debilitating emotion even for people who haven't experienced 1% of what you must have, and I know tough on survivors. I can understand that it can be a fight with ones own shame to talk about these type of experiences and admire you greatly for pushing through it.
I thought about the award winning Ted Talk on shame, and how inspirational I and millions of others found it. I wonder if you've seen it? It's on YouTube.
It's wonderful that you've found this place and can have a voice for that part of your life. I look forward to seeing you here!
I read with interest your thoughts on how this all might be solved in a similar way to the situation in South Africa was. It's extremely forward thinking and I believe it could work like this you know. You're right in that people in power would never admit anything like this without immunity. Let us pray that that time comes, and soon!! I like your ideas.
I looked at your post, however I think there was something wrong with the link as I got and still do get a deleted joke post about Alefantis being arrested?
https://voat.co/v/pizzagate/1773454
Any way, I'm real sorry to hear your work was deleted. It's difficult at first to know how to get your post to stick. Maybe have a look at my past submissions, and you'll see a post I made about this recently. If you resubmit it in the format suggested in the post it should stay up, likewise your future posts.
Good luck with your work, and I look forward to reading your posts! You are so right in that males are still underground about abuse. I've read a bit about it over the years, and understand the stigma and shame that can be around it. Another thing that could use change. Kudos for helping it along! If I can help with anything, any time on here, simply ping me : )
SavedbyJCfromRSA_MK ago
Your response is very encouraging. Many thanks. I'm on vacation, so haven't been regular online. Shame is a huge big deal for all survivors. It serves the abusers, helping to keep it all hidden away, while eroding confidence all ones life. I've made a good show of it but my self confidence is primarily a deeper you bastards are never going to get the best of me. A stubborn streak, fire in the belly type thing.
My comment was in that joke Alafantis post. I've not worked up the nerve to make an original POST, but I look for places to ad info to the discussion, particularly the 1 in 6. org info.. Their 10 point self questionnaire about PTSD from supressed CSA was an eye opener for me. I got a 90% and said to myself, time to look into these submarine memories more.
I'm three years into it, and slowly growing stronger inside.
Writing to you is fun and feels for real, writing to this VOAT space where it all disappears in hours, is boring me, feels useless. (except it's making connections like this happen) Without a conversation that lasts, we are pissing in the wind, NO? Is anything progressing or just repeats of old info like seems the increasing norm? I can't follow it all.