I Survived Corona

submitted 5.1 years ago by PuttItOut

I know many of you have been wondering what happened to your benevolent, patient, wise, beautiful (women can verify this), intelligent, and most of all kind hearted and loving administrator. It is only by the hand of God that I’m here to tell the story.

Nearly 10 months ago I entered a contest to taste test COVID-18. COVID-18 was a secret hot sauce developed by the Chinese and they planned to use it to put Tabasco out of business (damn communists).

An unfortunate thing happened during the taste test. The Chinese use hot sauce on bat wings. COVID-18 was so strong that when used on bat wings, it bonded with the bat wing blood and formed COVID-19. We basically unknowingly ate COVID-19. The positive side is that it tasted great.

It’s been a constant chore to stay ahead of the virus (it’s round so it rolls very fast and is hard to get away from). The only known cure isn’t a cure at all, it is simply a deterrent.

Toilet paper.

Scientists have found that if you surround yourself in a giant fort of toilet paper and tie it together with baby wipes it takes the power away from COVID-19. I built the largest toilet paper castle I could. NASA says you can see it from space.

I recommend each of you go out and buy as much toilet paper as possible and bury yourself underneath it. Toilet paper is an unlimited and cheap resource available to us all so no excuses.

I’m still recovering but I’ll try to get back and ban a few people soon (I see you rabble-rousers).

P.S. COVID-18 is perfectly safe on chicken wings and it’s better than Tabasco. Fact.

P.P.S. I hope it doesn’t rain soon.

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gramman74 5.1 years ago

For the love of GOD block Allforfunlife.com!

link

gabara 5.1 years ago

𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝗵𝗮𝘃𝗲 𝗯𝗲𝗲𝗻 𝘃𝗶𝘀𝗶𝘁𝗲𝗱 𝗯𝘆 𝘁𝗵𝗲

𝗧𝗢𝗗𝗗 𝗛𝗢𝗪𝗔𝗥𝗗 𝗢𝗙 𝗩𝗜𝗗𝗘𝗢 𝗚𝗔𝗠𝗘𝗦

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𝗚𝗿𝗲𝗮𝘁 𝗳𝗼𝗿𝘁𝘂𝗻𝗲 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗽𝗮𝗶𝗱 𝗺𝗼𝗱𝘀 𝗰𝗮𝗻 𝗯𝗲 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿𝘀

𝗯𝘂𝘁 𝗼𝗻𝗹𝘆 𝗶𝗳 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗿𝗲𝗽𝗹𝘆 𝘁𝗼 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝗰𝗼𝗺𝗺𝗲𝗻𝘁 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵:

𝗧𝗢𝗗𝗗 𝗛𝗢𝗪𝗔𝗥𝗗 𝗜𝗦 𝗔 𝗕𝗘𝗔𝗨𝗧𝗜𝗙𝗨𝗟 𝗠𝗔𝗡