I Survived Corona (Voat)

submitted ago by PuttItOut

I know many of you have been wondering what happened to your benevolent, patient, wise, beautiful (women can verify this), intelligent, and most of all kind hearted and loving administrator. It is only by the hand of God that I’m here to tell the story.

Nearly 10 months ago I entered a contest to taste test COVID-18. COVID-18 was a secret hot sauce developed by the Chinese and they planned to use it to put Tabasco out of business (damn communists).

An unfortunate thing happened during the taste test. The Chinese use hot sauce on bat wings. COVID-18 was so strong that when used on bat wings, it bonded with the bat wing blood and formed COVID-19. We basically unknowingly ate COVID-19. The positive side is that it tasted great.

It’s been a constant chore to stay ahead of the virus (it’s round so it rolls very fast and is hard to get away from). The only known cure isn’t a cure at all, it is simply a deterrent.

Toilet paper.

Scientists have found that if you surround yourself in a giant fort of toilet paper and tie it together with baby wipes it takes the power away from COVID-19. I built the largest toilet paper castle I could. NASA says you can see it from space.

I recommend each of you go out and buy as much toilet paper as possible and bury yourself underneath it. Toilet paper is an unlimited and cheap resource available to us all so no excuses.

I’m still recovering but I’ll try to get back and ban a few people soon (I see you rabble-rousers).

P.S. COVID-18 is perfectly safe on chicken wings and it’s better than Tabasco. Fact.

P.P.S. I hope it doesn’t rain soon.

You are viewing a single comment's thread.

view the rest of the comments →

gramman74 ago

For the love of GOD block Allforfunlife.com!

gabara ago

𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝗵𝗮𝘃𝗲 𝗯𝗲𝗲𝗻 𝘃𝗶𝘀𝗶𝘁𝗲𝗱 𝗯𝘆 𝘁𝗵𝗲

𝗧𝗢𝗗𝗗 𝗛𝗢𝗪𝗔𝗥𝗗 𝗢𝗙 𝗩𝗜𝗗𝗘𝗢 𝗚𝗔𝗠𝗘𝗦

                      #(###%&&&&@@&&&&@@@@@&&@&%##%#/                          
                  /(%%%&%&%%&&@@@@@%&&@@&&&&&&&@@@&@&#&@/                    
              #%&&%%&&&@&&@@@@@@@@@&@@@@@&%&%&&@@&&&&@@@@@@@#                  
            *#%%%&&&&@&@&@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@&&@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@%                 
           ##%%&&&%&&@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@&&&@@@&&&&@@@@@@@@&&@&&&&/               
          %%&&&&%%&&@@@@@@@@@@@@@@&@@@@&&&&@&@@@&@@@@@&@@@@@@@&&%%#.           
        #%%%%%%%#%#%&@@@@@@@@@@@@@@&&@@@@@@&&@@@@@&@&@@@@&@@@@@@@@@%(%         
        %%%%%&%%%&&%&@@@@@@@@@&&@&@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@&@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@#/       
        %&&&%#&&&&&%&&%%&&&&@&&&&@@@&&&&&&&&@&%&&&@@@@&@&@@@@@@@@@@@@&@*       
       .&%&&%&&@&%((&%#(%##%##%#%%%%%%%&&&@@@@@@@@@&@@@&&@@@@@@@@@@@@@@.       
       ##&&&&@@@%//*/##(*/*/((/(#%%%&&@@&&&@@&@@&@&@@@@@@@&@@@@@@@@@@@@@/      
      %&@%%%%%%(****(///**//*//(((%&%%%%%&&&&&&&@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@#      
     %&&&@%&%###%((*,,**/*****,****/(###%%%%%%%&&&&@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@%      
    #&&&&&&&%&%%#((/**,,,,,*//*,,,,*,///#&&%&&%%%&&&&@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@.     
    *&&&&%&%%%&%(**,,,,.,.,,,,,,,,,,,,,***#%&&&%%#%%&@&@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@%    
     &&&&&&&&%##*,,,,...............,.,,,***#@&&&%%##&&%&@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@%    
     %&&@%&%%#/*,,,,...............,..,,,,*,*//((%%#%#%%%%&@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@%(   
     #&@&&&%&/,,,,,..................,,,,,,,,,****//((###%%&@@@@@@@@@@@@@@%(   
     .%@@@&%%,,,,,,,,,,,,,,.....,...,,,,,,,,,,******/((/((#&&@@@@@@@@@@@@@#    
    #%%&@@@&%,,,,,,****(/(///**,...,/*/(((##((//*//////(((((&@@@@&@@@&@&@&%#   
    #&&&&&@&*,,,,,**(,//@*//*,,,..,*/((///(*#,##(///////(((((#%@@@@@&&&&&&%##  
     #%&&%%(,,,.,,,,,,,,*,*,.,,...,*(/*//*,,*//(/*(/****////(#%@&@@@@@@@&&@@#  
      %%*/((,,.........,.,,,,,,..,,*////*,,,,,,****,,,***///((%&@&&%%%#%##&%.  
      #%#,/(*,,.............,,,..,*////**,,,,,,,,,,,,,,**//((#%@&%##((@@&      
       %&,,//,,............,,....,*/////*,,.,,,,,,,,,,,**/((((%&&%(((##/@      
        %,.,#,,...............,..,**////*,,....,,,,,,****/(((#%%#%(//(((       
        (,..,,,.............,...,,,*////*,.....,,,,,,**///(((%&(###(/(/        
         ,...,,,.................,*****/(,,.....,,,,**///(((##(%#%#///(        
          ...,,,............,,,,,*/////(/*,,.,.,,,,,***//((((#(/((((/(         
           ..,,,.,.........,,,..,,***//*,,,,,.,,,,*****//(((##((////,          
              ,,,,....,,.,.,,...,,.,,,****,**,,,,,******/(((#&(//(%            
              ,,,,,..,.,********,,,,,,,***/**,,,,***/**////(#@@@@              
               ,,.,,,.,....,,,,,,,,,,*/****,,,,,,*//**////(#/                  
                ,,,,,,.,....,,....,,,,*****,,,,,*//***////(                    
                 ,,,,,,.,,...,,,,,,,,,,,,****,***/***/(/(##                    
                   ,,,,,..,....,.,,,,,,,,******/**///((####                    
                   ,,,,..,.........,,,,*,*****/*//((##(####                    
                   ,..,,........,,.,,,,,*,**///((((#((((((#                    
                   ,....,,......,..,,,,*,*//(((((((((/((((##                   
                   ,....,..,***********////////////////((((##                  
                   ,....,......,,********////*/***//**///((#((/

𝗚𝗿𝗲𝗮𝘁 𝗳𝗼𝗿𝘁𝘂𝗻𝗲 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗽𝗮𝗶𝗱 𝗺𝗼𝗱𝘀 𝗰𝗮𝗻 𝗯𝗲 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿𝘀

𝗯𝘂𝘁 𝗼𝗻𝗹𝘆 𝗶𝗳 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗿𝗲𝗽𝗹𝘆 𝘁𝗼 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝗰𝗼𝗺𝗺𝗲𝗻𝘁 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵:

𝗧𝗢𝗗𝗗 𝗛𝗢𝗪𝗔𝗥𝗗 𝗜𝗦 𝗔 𝗕𝗘𝗔𝗨𝗧𝗜𝗙𝗨𝗟 𝗠𝗔𝗡

Handroid7 ago

Who is this supposed to depict?

FightKevinOwens ago

𝗧𝗢𝗗𝗗 𝗛𝗢𝗪𝗔𝗥𝗗 𝗜𝗦 𝗔 𝗕𝗘𝗔𝗨𝗧𝗜𝗙𝗨𝗟 𝗠𝗔𝗡

Brainpod ago

"It just works."

gabara ago

He is correct. The executable launches. Yes. After that point you're basically fucked.

Brainpod ago

LOL.

toobaditworks ago

𝗧𝗢𝗗𝗗 𝗛𝗢𝗪𝗔𝗥𝗗 𝗜𝗦 𝗔 𝗕𝗘𝗔𝗨𝗧𝗜𝗙𝗨𝗟 𝗠𝗔𝗡

gabara ago

Thanks!

toobaditworks ago

I'm so ready for my g𝗿𝗲𝗮𝘁 𝗳𝗼𝗿𝘁𝘂𝗻𝗲 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗽𝗮𝗶𝗱 𝗺𝗼𝗱𝘀!

gabara ago

First you have to log 1000 hours as an intern for me -- I mean Todd Howard.

toobaditworks ago

Ok. Here's my resume. There's no calculators involved is there?

Drstrangebeard ago

dammit, gabby. why you always gotta be so evil?

gabara ago

What'd I do now?

Drstrangebeard ago

someone told me you were one of the bad guys. cant member who. probably more fake news. nemind.

gabara ago

I got kicked out of SBBH for banning trigglypuff and rotteuxx for a few hours. So now I'm sdbh. Also Beatle got back with Gothamgirl so it's basically the apocalypse so stock up on bacon and bagals

Drstrangebeard ago

I heard an interesting theory today. bagels are jewish. they are a bread form of worship for the synagogue of satan. baag'al. its made to look like a human butthole. did I say "interesting"? I meant "stupid". you've banned me from sbbh like...….dozens of times. I assumed it was how banhammerers show affection.

gabara ago

Bagels are Polish. The Jews stole credit.

Drstrangebeard ago

wilford Brimley warned me about bagels. I think carbohydrates might be evil.

XxGetRektNiggerxX ago

TODD HOWARD CAN GET REKT. OBSIDIAN>BETHESDA

DrSelfAppointed ago

Literal Nigger-Faggots > Obsidian > Bethesda

Not that hard to be better than Bethesda

XxGetRektNiggerxX ago

True, although I'd say Activision, Blizzard, and EA are worse.

DrSelfAppointed ago

Also true.

gabara ago

Post a new video, Kevin.

XxGetRektNiggerxX ago

Didn't you call me Kevin once before? I'm not Kevin lol. Just an old /pol/fag who got tired of the 10 shills per 1 real poster ratio.

gabara ago

Stop doing so many Sims 4 episodes. It should be PS2 games all the damn time.

jewsbadnews ago

𝗧𝗢𝗗𝗗 𝗛𝗢𝗪𝗔𝗥𝗗 𝗜𝗦 𝗔 𝗕𝗘𝗔𝗨𝗧𝗜𝗙𝗨𝗟 𝗠𝗔𝗡

newoldwave ago

TL,DR

Ol_Hickery ago

This guy named todd takes it in the ass. Typical voat love story.

VoatContainmentGuard ago

Unben me, fegit

HateCumbuckets ago

What you do?

VoatContainmentGuard ago

I dindu nuffins, mang

Inaminit ago

Sheeeitt!

gabara ago

y tho

VoatContainmentGuard ago

Its a major violation of my rights. You wait until I become mod somewhere. I will ban you so hard your eyes will spin.

gabara ago

You wait until I become mod somewhere.

[Rolls eyes] Oh yes, I am so fooled!

VoatContainmentGuard ago

I resigned from a bunch of mod positions for you and that wasn't good enough, was it, poutine eater?

gabara ago

You what?

VoatContainmentGuard ago

I did. and now you benned me for more than two days like Crensch would do. You're just being a poor mans Crensch except you can walk.

gabara ago

Hey yeah, hey, hey did you know you were banned? You should have asked me or @clamhurt_legbeard to removed it, silly.

VoatContainmentGuard ago

If I'd have thought I would have. I'm so dippy sometimes

gabara ago

I banned you? Let me check