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atimeandplace ago

Yeah honestly you only need to look at social media site Tumblr to see that there is a massive influx of people with changing gender identities.

Because of my childhood rape I didn't want to be a girl as I thought being a boy was "safer". I never voiced it aloud, of course, because I didn't want to be a boy, and I didn't want to be a girl... I thought if I dressed a certain way it would be like wearing invisibility armor and nothing would hurt me. Honestly it was something I struggled with until my teens when I learned that most of my male cousins had been sexually abused in the part of the country they lived, which was far, far away from where I had grown up. It was then I realized that oh actually the world isn't safer if you're a boy either! So then I REALLY wanted to be "nothing" and I rejected this idea that I was a girl because I did not want to be hurt ever again in my life.

In my twenties I started therapy for the fact I was sexually abused / raped as a child. It took until my late twenties before I felt comfortable as a woman. I stopped needing several layers of clothing to hide the fact I was a big-breasted woman. I finally started wearing knee-length shorts, after years in sweatpants to "keep me safe". And it was only in the last year that I finally told my family how I had felt all those years, and that it was this big secret thing I'd been struggling to deal with.

I actually spent my life rejecting relationships too. Anything relating to sex was DISGUSTING in my view. I mean it kind of is, but only because the men in my country are largely of a "rapey" mindset when they communicate with women online (but I have met a super nice guy, so they do exist!).

Because I was seen as a "tom boy", one of my half sister's still calls me a lesbian. I'm not, never was. I just rejected societies ideals of what I should be in eeeeevery conceivable manner because I didn't want to exist in the world.

My point in sharing this? These people need some serious therapy. It IS a psychological issue to be confused about your gender. It IS a psychological issue to lack a sexual orientation, or have one that requires several PHD's to fucking translate into the common tongue.

I know, because I lived through those psychological conditions for the fact I was molested and raped as a child and just wanted to hide. But, sadly, the folks these days "identify" the way they do because having any of these mental illnesses make you one of the cool kids!

Sorry for the novel :)

Cc1914 ago

My heart goes out to you and I wish I could give you a big hug ! I'm also a survivor of child SA ... I won't retell my story but I did tell it here in 2016 and tbh I think the best therapy for me was talking to people on voat about it . There are some amazing people here that have really helped me a lot .