I can speak Bull Shit so allow me to translate the story and today's sentencing of Edgar Maddison Welch as I found out about today in the CIA's Press Office Washington Post. Edgar's story actually begins with his sister. Here's a video of her entering a bar looking for her friend Gary.

So right there first up we can establish the Welch family has a certain proclivity for entering bars with automatic weapons looking for people. But this isn't about Edgar's sister. This is about Edgar. And Edgar got in a spot of bother a short time before he decided to enter Comet Ping Pong and shoot into a closet while looking for children being held against their will........possibly in hidden rooms....and closets.

O_O

What was that spot of bother? Edgar appears to have accidentally struck a 13 year old with his car. And I know what you're thinking already. Edgar must have been impaired due to recreational liquids and/or chemicals. But no, there was no DUI. Therefor what must have happened is Edgar must have been looking for that 13 year old and found him and said to himself "Hey! That's who I'm looking for. Maybe I should get his attention by running into him with my car.". So like any rational human being would do after finding someone on the road they were looking for Edgar ran into him with his car.

Ok. Now that I've cleared that up I'd like to dispel a rumor that's been going around /v/pizzagate and that's in exchange for leniency in the case where Edgar found a 13 year old kid he was looking for (yes at this moment in time evidently in certain Southern States you can still be arrested for finding someone with your car. God I fucking hate Republicans and fucking Donald Trump) TPTB made some sort of plea bargain where Edgar could repay his moral debt to that Southern State by agreeing to participate in a Sandy Hook style False Flag that evidently the Federal Government can now use for Domestic Propaganda "Public Diplomacy Broadcasting" as AreWeSure likes to call it to stage a completely fictional video production at Comet Ping Pong to prove that, ding ding ding, cars are much safer than assault rifles. Or assault rifles are safer than cars. I can't remember because I have a hard time processing American Culture after Smith-Mundt 2013 allowed the government to legally lie to the American People through the use of "Domestic Propaganda" "Public Diplomacy Broadcasting" like the Sandy Hook Hoax(no shit it was a hoax, I couldn't believe it either, look up Wolfgang Halbig on youtube) to further some sort of Orwellian goal of creating a distopian Police State out of the country I formerly knew as the United States of 'Murica.

Get it? There was no plea bargain or "deal" or "conspiracy theory" you Deplorable Shit Lord!

Fuck I hate Trump.

:-D

UPDATE 1:

AreWeSure just got it from both barrels. In case you don't want to click here's the discharge:

"and was facing no criminal charges."

Of course AreWeSure and thank you for pointing that out to @AssFaceSandwich2 because I was about to open up on him with both barrels myself for thinking just for one second that the fact no criminal charges were filed could possibly have been part of a plea bargain.

I mean seriously do people really think Rich White Fascists inside the Deep State could ever in a million years do something so diabolical as pass a modernization act that allows the government to stage "Domestic Propaganda" "Public Diplomacy Broadcasting" in the hopes of unethically influencing public opinion?

Hell no. Fuck that, hell isn't a big enough word. I say Fuck No. ....Go home all you Deplorable Shit Lords! We don't need your Patriarchy anymore or your ethical "Man Laws".

:-D