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CrudOMatic ago

@PuttItOut

Oh, too good. I speak 1337 |=@9907, so I'll translate:

FROM: [email protected]

Shit no one's ever heard of or cares about.

To: [email protected]

SO 1337 that I didn't know who to send it to directly.

Subject: Ransom request: DDOS ATTACK!

Hi, my father bailed on the family when I was 8, and I was raised by my helicopter mother. I try to be edgy on the internet to compensate for not having a male role model in my life. I'm two shades away from being an impotent cuck.

FORWARD THIS MAIL TO WHOEVER IS IMPORTANT IN YOUR COMPANY AND CAN MAKE DECISION!

Don't even know the names of the guys who run the site, just like I didn't know what e-mail address to send my "ransom" to. 1337 |-|@><0|2!!!!11!!1!1

We are xmr-squad. https://lmgtfy.com/q=xmr_squad

Profile of me and my "friends" (imaginary, because mom won't let me out) - it's on a little known site called GOOGLE. Maybe you've heard of it?

All your servers will be DDoS-ed starting tuesday (may 2) if you don’t pay protection – 3 Bitcoins @ 16qkhjMBqXCtZHF7wwLmBA4ShmKECHqpHB

I put -ed on the end of DDoS because my English sucks, and also to let you know I'm completely serious. I also included a bitcoin wallet address that probably isn't even anonymous (as I suggest using coinify later in the e-mail).

If you don’t pay by tuesday, attack will start, price to stop will increase to 20 BTC and will go up 5 BTC for every day of attack.

This is just to let you know that I'm super serious - just like how the bomb will start ticking faster if I don't get paid immediately. If I do have any tools, I'll attack you for a few hours until it starts fucking with my netflix, then I'll stop. Of course I'll attack you from home - this is the internet, and I'm totally anonymous. Distributed? What's that?

You can buy bitcoins easily here: https://www.coinify.com/

You can totally trust them, I used them to create the bitcoin wallet address I sent you a few lines ago.

This is not a joke.

You better take me seriously, my puberty's flaring up and I don't have an outlet for release. If only mom would let me join the junior high Fight Club.

Our attacks are extremely powerful – sometimes over 600 Gigabits per second.

"Our" power level is OVER 9000! "Our" gang has got more throughput than an OC-768 line, you BEST be afraid, faggot. Gibs me dat money. I also roleplay in the mirror as a gangbanger, and hold my pistol cocked to the side - because that's the most effective way of layin' niggas in da dirt, yo.

So, no cheap protection will help.

Cloudflare ain't cheap, but I'll pretend it is by suggesting that "our" pipes are fatter than both those of the USG and Wall St.

Bitcoin is anonymous, nobody will ever know you cooperated.

I think my wallet I generated at coinify is anonymous, even though I had to fill in all my mom's info.

EllenPaosEgo ago

Is it to late to vote for LOL?