You are viewing a single comment's thread.

view the rest of the comments →

DarkMath ago

FOOTNOTE:

"**" There are people in this story who are about to get a lot closer to God. And hopefully that's not literally closer because suicide is a sin. The closer to God we're talking about is the fact there are no atheists in a fox-hole and the perps stopped going to church a long time ago. They'll be in need of salvation in short order because they've got the biggest artillery barrage in American History aimed right at their heads.

Given that fact and since past in prologue you don't have to look too far back in American History to realize we've seen this movie before. And within that version of a seemingly perpetual shit show a one Charles "Chuck" Colson figured prominently. So prominently his story could be one of the missing puzzle pieces that might allow us to finish this chapter with our sanity intact.

Chuck Colson's story could be that ray of light after some "persons of interest" get their light fixtures blown out and are looking for replacements. Chuck Colson was the first man down the last time this happened. And I'd bet his story may help birth a few new Chuck Colsons in the coming months and years.

Chuck Colson and I went to the same college albeit many years apart. I first learned about Chuck Colson and his story around 1990 when I was still in college and saw Oliver Stone's film JFK. The film itself was so well made and brought up themes of such consequence it was all I could think about for months. My fascination with that story quickly grew to fascination about that entire period in American History. Learning about it became a compulsion. I devoured everything I could find.

Chuck's name comes up not infrequently and my first opinion of Chuck Colson was pure disgust. I considered writing a letter to the school's alumni magazine just so I could smear his name. You've got to remember at that time in my life I was an atheist and God did not exist. Therefor it was not possible that Chuck Colson could have atoned for his sins and have been forgiven. What's "atonement" anyway. Oh yeah, it's that thing Marx and Lenin talked about when explaining how the working class gets forcefully addicted to religion in order to keep them quiet.

So lets just say I was full of hubris in those days and that justified me being livid. In fact it was kind of fun getting that angry. I struggle with that addiction to this day. Just look how rip shit I got these past 6 months here. Back then I was angry at Chuck Colson for being such a willing participant in a system that was so morally and ethically wrong no one who had graduated from the university we went to would have any problem in understanding that fact. Deep down I suspected Chuck Colson knew that too and was miserable accordingly and that made me smile. I knew deep down inside Chuck Colson must have been hurting like no one could believe.

Only later after I had graduated did I learn of the repentant Chuck Colson). I read what he did after he got out of prison and it moved me greatly. I was an Atheist up until then and around the time I'd heard of his ministry I had started my own mental and physical extended vacation in Hell. I was never incarcerated like Chuck was but I can guarantee you I had hit a bottom somewhere in the same zip code of what Chuck had experienced. Occasionally as I peered up from a bottomless pit I'd think of Chuck Colson offering his hand to help me out. I never took it. I had more digging to do. I had been cursed with the disease of alcoholism from both grandfathers and my father. There was a time a 1/5th of Scotch seemed as wholesome as a 1/5th of milk. And they went down about the same. Alcohol ruled my life. It hit me coming and going. Losing my Atheism and accepting a loving God was the only way I made it back to sanity alive and in one piece.

I never thought Chuck Colson would feature so prominently at such hard corners in my life. All I can say at this point is things like this make me wonder how much of our lives are planned out long before we ever get there. And I have a sneaky suspicion Chuck Colson may be looking down at me as I write this. If you are Chuck thank you for your story and thank you for your ministry. You are proof God forgives and will let us back in the fold at any time. All we have to do is stop digging and throw in the towel.