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Vindicator ago

@migratorypatterns, for your final act this evening, do you think you could sum this amazing web of slime up in a single sentence, a TL;DR, and stick it at the very top of the post?

You don't HAVE to, but you've loaded the bases here like a boss, and a home run one-sentence summary would turn this into a grand slam. :-) What the Pedowood scum call a "logline" or elevator pitch.

migratorypatterns ago

And I had to leave out a LOT.

I'll try. I kept getting that word minimum warning ...