Thank you Carmencita for your diligence in getting this back on
I was ritually abused in these tunnels as a child from 1961 until about 1970 It started when I was 9 years old, the age I started to menstruate, which is young. I was told by someone a long time ago, that I was probably very valuable as I was born into a generational cult, and I already knew how to keep my mouth shut. Also, for a catholic seminary to abuse a little Lutheran girl, I was probably quite the prize. I was their 'breeder" for years
I called them the "under under" as a child, as the tunnels I was abused in looked the the ones in the photos with dirt floors, not photos of St. Charles but very similar. "Under Under... meant that they were underneath the tunnels used by the students.
My abortions were performed here and my son was killed in these tunnels. I gave birth to a live son when I was 12. I had to murder my own son. He never had a birth certificate, as those involved would have prevented it and he never died on paper. . I know of at least three other women this has happened to, they gave birth and had to murder their child. I named my son "Matthew"
Someone a long time ago, asked if I were "for real" Why would I be telling all these things about myself, for ?? What purpose. To expose my vagina to the world? I have been called crazy and worse all these years, but my story has not changed in 30 years
I don't come to this site often, as for some reason I try to sign in on my cell phone, it won't let me
I have had district attorneys' to my home and more recently two agents from the attorney generals office. I have photos of their ID.
I have an email from the current DA in Philadelphia asking for any and all information, I will not share that as it is confidential.
Why the heck would I make this stuff up.
My main perpetrator has been reported by others, for child abuse as well as adult women rapes with violence. The bishop did nothing!!
There is nothing in this for me, I want to protect others. If the law changes for SOL in PA, I am probably aged out, but I don't want to see another life destroyed by this.. if you read my posts in "Philadelphia' I speak of these tunnels, I did not realize there were photos online
I found these the other evening, and it made me quite ill. I am not well, I have lupus and I spent the last two plus days in bed.
I was married in this hell whole to the 'priest'. I wore a white, felt like satin next to my bare skin, it was a pretty dress and it felt pretty to a little girl. I was allowed to bring my cat, Patches .. my sister named the male cat as he looked like he had patches sewn on him They skinned my cat alive. This was my first time taken there.
I saw children burned to death in incinerators. I was tied up and forced to watch this and 'if I told, this was going to happen to me.' These were street kids, at the time, today we would call them homeless or runaways or sex slaves. No one cared where they went or what happened to them.
As a child, I felt like I was taken in the middle of the night, it could have been 11 pm, for all I know. I also thought as a child it was a limo, it was a fancy black car. I sat in the back, mostly alone, at time with my girl friend, at that time. This girl friend grew up and threatened my life back in the 1980's. More later. I have corroboration but not enough to risk my life. She lives only a few miles from me, and I fear she is still cult active. This is why my life was threatened back in the late 80's as I was out of this hellish cult.
It was my 'girl friend's father' and my mother that enabled my being there. He was roman catholic, and my parents were good Lutherans, and I believe my own mother pimped me out. When she died, she left 1/2 million dollars to my dead sister's husband. Another long story.
I know I was woken from my sleep to go there, and I know I came back before Saturday, I believe it was always a Friday night. I honestly do not remember, yet, how I was woken from my sleep to go, but I can imagine, that memory is around the corner for me too. it is how this works.
There is nothing in this for me, no law suit, no settlement, I want to see it ended, because let's face it, you know it did not stop. I posted this on Facebook the other day, and a friend of mine, Jewish, who is about 20 years younger than myself, told me, he believed he was there as well. I am 65
I would sit in a room with you for three hours without speaking. Or even really moving. There are no words for what you have endured. I endured some shit, but, nothing, nothing like this. Please know that we are activated against this Evil, and we support you in our prayers.
Krishnamurti: “It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society.”
Please know that you are both healing yourself AND healing US when you share your experiences and your pain with us. Even if you are so locked in a space where it's hard to feel free, to find a way to relax, to leave anything and all this everything behind, please know that, in sharing, you heal so many of us by speaking out.
I have drank 23 ceremonies of Ayahuasca and the way She deals with pain is fascinating. These "engrams" are IMPOSED on you, and, if you look at yourself from a "materialistic" methodology (materialism is "top down" mind), you will always see yourself in a way that is conflated with your oppressive memories. They are not you. They are irrelevant. CALL THEM TO THE LIGHT. DEMAND THAT THEY ANSWER TO YOUR SOVEREIGNTY AND JUSTIFY—OR LEAVE—THE AMOUNT OF ENERGY THEY ASK OF YOU.
Next time you have a powerfully negative thought, yell, inside your head, "WHO SAID THAT? STEP FORWARD." You will experience a very delicate and profound silence. NO LIAR WILL EVER VOLUNTARILY STEP FORWARD INTO THAT LIGHT.
Please know that, although I don't know you, we share the same goals. And the insanity that you feel is BECAUSE you know that, DEEP down, your soul is WELL. A healthy, happy, and vibrant soul is a threat to THEM in THIS space. Please be proud that you are, and have been, a threat to "them" in this space.
Know that many of us are dealing with our own problems, which, for many of us survivors, is hard to describe to the normies. Please—pursue that silent space. In that space, you will feel us. You are not alone. You know that this silence is different than being alone or feeling lonely. That silence is peace. And that peace comes from the realization that THAT silent space is the SAME for ALL of us. WE ARE THERE, TOO, AND, PLEASE KNOW THAT THE NEXT TIME YOU FEEL THAT SILENCE, YOU WILL FEEL A HAND ON YOUR SHOULDER, SAYING, "ALL WILL BE WELL."
Until we are all one again, please, keep fighting. Never give up. Only you can say when you have had enough. But, you are doing well to look at the smaller things and take joy in the delicate silence around you. WE ARE WITH YOU IN THIS SILENCE.
Bye for now, but, when you see all of us, you will recognize us right away. Until then. Please know that you don't fight alone.
Thank you for your kindness. I am really okay with most of this, I have been dealing with it for a longtime. I will soon be 66. The loss of my son, was the worst but what those beasts did to me.. unimaginable .. as I tell people over and over "You can't make this stuff up"
I have a chart of my life, when I am feeling 'better about exposing myself' .. my life makes sense. A friend psychologist made the chart from hundreds of emails I have sent to her. I can't tell you the number of authorities I have given this to, most recently the attorney general's office of Pennsylvania
Hello again, would you mind a question? Specifically, and if you don't mind and if it's not an inconvenience or a trigger, can you describe how you felt when McCabe was fired?
Personally, I was almost elated. It was a huge weight off my chest. I feel like we might be seeing something turn, here, towards the Good.
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StcharlesSeminary ago
Thank you Carmencita for your diligence in getting this back on
I was ritually abused in these tunnels as a child from 1961 until about 1970 It started when I was 9 years old, the age I started to menstruate, which is young. I was told by someone a long time ago, that I was probably very valuable as I was born into a generational cult, and I already knew how to keep my mouth shut. Also, for a catholic seminary to abuse a little Lutheran girl, I was probably quite the prize. I was their 'breeder" for years
I called them the "under under" as a child, as the tunnels I was abused in looked the the ones in the photos with dirt floors, not photos of St. Charles but very similar. "Under Under... meant that they were underneath the tunnels used by the students.
My abortions were performed here and my son was killed in these tunnels. I gave birth to a live son when I was 12. I had to murder my own son. He never had a birth certificate, as those involved would have prevented it and he never died on paper. . I know of at least three other women this has happened to, they gave birth and had to murder their child. I named my son "Matthew"
Someone a long time ago, asked if I were "for real" Why would I be telling all these things about myself, for ?? What purpose. To expose my vagina to the world? I have been called crazy and worse all these years, but my story has not changed in 30 years
I don't come to this site often, as for some reason I try to sign in on my cell phone, it won't let me
I have had district attorneys' to my home and more recently two agents from the attorney generals office. I have photos of their ID.
I have an email from the current DA in Philadelphia asking for any and all information, I will not share that as it is confidential.
Why the heck would I make this stuff up.
My main perpetrator has been reported by others, for child abuse as well as adult women rapes with violence. The bishop did nothing!!
There is nothing in this for me, I want to protect others. If the law changes for SOL in PA, I am probably aged out, but I don't want to see another life destroyed by this.. if you read my posts in "Philadelphia' I speak of these tunnels, I did not realize there were photos online
I found these the other evening, and it made me quite ill. I am not well, I have lupus and I spent the last two plus days in bed.
I was married in this hell whole to the 'priest'. I wore a white, felt like satin next to my bare skin, it was a pretty dress and it felt pretty to a little girl. I was allowed to bring my cat, Patches .. my sister named the male cat as he looked like he had patches sewn on him They skinned my cat alive. This was my first time taken there.
I saw children burned to death in incinerators. I was tied up and forced to watch this and 'if I told, this was going to happen to me.' These were street kids, at the time, today we would call them homeless or runaways or sex slaves. No one cared where they went or what happened to them.
As a child, I felt like I was taken in the middle of the night, it could have been 11 pm, for all I know. I also thought as a child it was a limo, it was a fancy black car. I sat in the back, mostly alone, at time with my girl friend, at that time. This girl friend grew up and threatened my life back in the 1980's. More later. I have corroboration but not enough to risk my life. She lives only a few miles from me, and I fear she is still cult active. This is why my life was threatened back in the late 80's as I was out of this hellish cult.
It was my 'girl friend's father' and my mother that enabled my being there. He was roman catholic, and my parents were good Lutherans, and I believe my own mother pimped me out. When she died, she left 1/2 million dollars to my dead sister's husband. Another long story.
I know I was woken from my sleep to go there, and I know I came back before Saturday, I believe it was always a Friday night. I honestly do not remember, yet, how I was woken from my sleep to go, but I can imagine, that memory is around the corner for me too. it is how this works.
There is nothing in this for me, no law suit, no settlement, I want to see it ended, because let's face it, you know it did not stop. I posted this on Facebook the other day, and a friend of mine, Jewish, who is about 20 years younger than myself, told me, he believed he was there as well. I am 65
Catsfive ago
I would sit in a room with you for three hours without speaking. Or even really moving. There are no words for what you have endured. I endured some shit, but, nothing, nothing like this. Please know that we are activated against this Evil, and we support you in our prayers.
StcharlesSeminary ago
I really appreciate this, more than you will ever know. I am so tired of being called crazy. At times I wish I was
Catsfive ago
Krishnamurti: “It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society.”
Please know that you are both healing yourself AND healing US when you share your experiences and your pain with us. Even if you are so locked in a space where it's hard to feel free, to find a way to relax, to leave anything and all this everything behind, please know that, in sharing, you heal so many of us by speaking out.
I have drank 23 ceremonies of Ayahuasca and the way She deals with pain is fascinating. These "engrams" are IMPOSED on you, and, if you look at yourself from a "materialistic" methodology (materialism is "top down" mind), you will always see yourself in a way that is conflated with your oppressive memories. They are not you. They are irrelevant. CALL THEM TO THE LIGHT. DEMAND THAT THEY ANSWER TO YOUR SOVEREIGNTY AND JUSTIFY—OR LEAVE—THE AMOUNT OF ENERGY THEY ASK OF YOU.
Next time you have a powerfully negative thought, yell, inside your head, "WHO SAID THAT? STEP FORWARD." You will experience a very delicate and profound silence. NO LIAR WILL EVER VOLUNTARILY STEP FORWARD INTO THAT LIGHT.
Please know that, although I don't know you, we share the same goals. And the insanity that you feel is BECAUSE you know that, DEEP down, your soul is WELL. A healthy, happy, and vibrant soul is a threat to THEM in THIS space. Please be proud that you are, and have been, a threat to "them" in this space.
Know that many of us are dealing with our own problems, which, for many of us survivors, is hard to describe to the normies. Please—pursue that silent space. In that space, you will feel us. You are not alone. You know that this silence is different than being alone or feeling lonely. That silence is peace. And that peace comes from the realization that THAT silent space is the SAME for ALL of us. WE ARE THERE, TOO, AND, PLEASE KNOW THAT THE NEXT TIME YOU FEEL THAT SILENCE, YOU WILL FEEL A HAND ON YOUR SHOULDER, SAYING, "ALL WILL BE WELL."
Until we are all one again, please, keep fighting. Never give up. Only you can say when you have had enough. But, you are doing well to look at the smaller things and take joy in the delicate silence around you. WE ARE WITH YOU IN THIS SILENCE.
Bye for now, but, when you see all of us, you will recognize us right away. Until then. Please know that you don't fight alone.
StcharlesSeminary ago
Thank you for your kindness. I am really okay with most of this, I have been dealing with it for a longtime. I will soon be 66. The loss of my son, was the worst but what those beasts did to me.. unimaginable .. as I tell people over and over "You can't make this stuff up"
I have a chart of my life, when I am feeling 'better about exposing myself' .. my life makes sense. A friend psychologist made the chart from hundreds of emails I have sent to her. I can't tell you the number of authorities I have given this to, most recently the attorney general's office of Pennsylvania
Again, I thank you
Catsfive ago
Hello again, would you mind a question? Specifically, and if you don't mind and if it's not an inconvenience or a trigger, can you describe how you felt when McCabe was fired?
Personally, I was almost elated. It was a huge weight off my chest. I feel like we might be seeing something turn, here, towards the Good.
Best