My problem with DS is that he is a fraud. Early on, at the onset of Pizzagate we were DM on twitter. Initially I fell for this con. He seemed like a nice guy. Pizzagate, as it unfolded ,begin to trigger me. (I am a SRA victim.) I was going through some bad shit. Really bad shit. I have DID and was starting to get flashbacks and body memories. DS was very adept at making me reveal things to him I had rarely revealed before. Though he was not particularly sympathetic to my CSA plight . He said he wanted to interview me in person. He thought I was younger and when he found out my age he ditched me like a dog. (guess he wanted to score? I look younger than I am.) He also got paranoid and thought I was some CIA mole or something. He wanted nothing to do with me or my story. He treated me miserably. I sounded of on twitter and youtube. He then threatened to sue me . He will probably threaten that again now for this.
Now I am not trying to be a drama queen, but my story has a lot of value to pizzagate as my abuse occured at the hands of a high profile, famous person. Any real journalist would have salivated at the story. Esp. one that was supposedly involved in a pizzagate investigation and care for sexually abused children. Funnily, he did seem to believe my story but claimed he was afraid of getting sued. (even tho my perp is ashes now) Then that same week he went on youtube claiming Podesta and Alefantis are child molesters, and did not seem to have any liability concerns. He treated me like dirt, cared nothing for how I was feeling. He called me a psycho. Not a nice thing to say to someone that has DID. He is a narcissistic , opportunistic conman. A callous dick too. I saw another side that if you guys would see, would turn you off. He is milking this for all it's worth and filling his coffers. (and no Bitcoin does not draw more hits than pizzagate! No one give 2 squats about Bitcoin.!!) A few real serious researchers of CSA and SRA tried to reach out to him (other than myself), and he wanted nothing to do with them.
So he rails all day about the poor sexually abused children at the hands of the big bad elite but here he had one ( albeit grown up now) that lands on his lap and he kicks her in the head. He could care less about anything but $$$.
No. When alive this person (my perp), was a powerful magician and I don't mean the Vegas type. I was to scared. Still am and he is dead. He was a member of a Secret Society. It's hard for people to understand this unless they have experienced and believe in the supernatural. As I know it may sound hokey to some. Also there was some (and still is) some Stockholm Syndrome shit going on with me. That is the killer. Hate & love.
I believe you. I know women who have been sold 4 sex when they were little girls. A lifetime of hurt and pain results. The scars remain. But they battle on. They are fighters, like you. The fact that your abuse is even more hidden and more under cover makes it even harder for victims of ritual abuse to come out. I totally get the love/hate and the Stockholm syndrome. Many prostituted women have the dissociation, were sexually abused as children (and so they think that's all they have to offer), PTSD (which you probably have as well) and suffer Stockholm syndrome. They attempt to get their power back by repeating the abuse in prostitution in an attempt to re-frame it. But it doesn't work--it's like doing the same thing over and over again trying to get a different result.
Are you getting any counselling? The power that abusers hold over their victims can last a long time. Even for those not abused in a ritual setting. You are an adult now, but your abuser did such a great job of instilling that fear of him in you, that every time you encounter anything that even remotely reminds you of the event or him, your fight/flight/freeze will be triggered and you probably re-experience. That's the PTSD. When you break out of that magical thinking (of the power he has) you will see that he is a nothing. He is such a nothing that he had to puff himself up with importance by abusing an innocent, beautiful child. He was a manipulator, a psychopath and will be rotting in a horrid place in the afterlife.
Your love/hate is very common in abuse victims. Don't feel ashamed of it. This is the games predators play; they mess with your mind; they reel you in. It's called 'grooming'. The better the grooming, the more love is felt by the victim. Sorry, I hope I don't trigger you. You are a beautiful, strong woman. You just need assistance in getting through the trauma.
Sorry, I didn't want to meddle. I'm not a psychologist, just someone who's had some trauma herself, but not as bad as yours. Hugs.
You are 100% right! I have never prostituted but i get into dangerous/abusive relationships over & over trying to get a different outcome.I've almost been killed a couple of times. Also I would look for clones of him or people with his tendencies both physical/psychological. I see you know what I mean through personal experience. And yes, DID and PTSD and major depression. What is strange in my case is that the abuse occurred just once. (I think) but it was so very horrific in terms of gore and shock that it really marked me. (animal sacrifice/mutilation, etc..) Perhaps the worst part is that fact that I repressed it all and it came flooding back once I saw my perp in a film as a teen of 16. I thought I was going insane. I started to get flashbacks & nightmares with this person and I was like. But I''ve never even met him! And how could I ever talk to a therapist about this? I would surely get locked up!! But after some years , yes, I finally went into therapy and a few more memories come back and for me to figure it out. But there is that i still refuse to see. I also became my own private detective and found out a lot on my own about this person and their past. That in itself was highly dangerous as these were occult circles that took secrecy to the grave. I got involved in them to get info on my perp. All along he would do art, music videos, songs, films, displaying his dark tendencies, even the pedo ones but since he was a musician-ICON no body batted an eyelash. The absolute worst part about my entire ordeal was the fact he was so famous. I felt people would think I was making it up. I only wish that I was.
Don't read this until you're ready, but it describes how even one traumatic torture (it's more than abuse) will make children to dissociate & develop MPD, and how it's used for the occult practices. It confirms and re-affirms your experience. It might help you to realise that there are many others out there who've had these atrocities committed on them, most times by the very people who are supposed to be protecting them, that is their parents.
These animals completely disempower these children and take from them what good parents spend years trying to build up--a good sense of self; a belief in themselves; and the skills to deal with the good and bad in life. The crimes are more heinous than simply abuse because the acts are a concerted effort to rip apart the spirit of the child. http://www.whale.to/b/pacememo.html
Disregard the part about the parents. Just the paragraphs about how children are split after one torture is what I was talking about. http://www.whale.to/b/pacememo.html
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stellarcorpse ago
My problem with DS is that he is a fraud. Early on, at the onset of Pizzagate we were DM on twitter. Initially I fell for this con. He seemed like a nice guy. Pizzagate, as it unfolded ,begin to trigger me. (I am a SRA victim.) I was going through some bad shit. Really bad shit. I have DID and was starting to get flashbacks and body memories. DS was very adept at making me reveal things to him I had rarely revealed before. Though he was not particularly sympathetic to my CSA plight . He said he wanted to interview me in person. He thought I was younger and when he found out my age he ditched me like a dog. (guess he wanted to score? I look younger than I am.) He also got paranoid and thought I was some CIA mole or something. He wanted nothing to do with me or my story. He treated me miserably. I sounded of on twitter and youtube. He then threatened to sue me . He will probably threaten that again now for this.
Now I am not trying to be a drama queen, but my story has a lot of value to pizzagate as my abuse occured at the hands of a high profile, famous person. Any real journalist would have salivated at the story. Esp. one that was supposedly involved in a pizzagate investigation and care for sexually abused children. Funnily, he did seem to believe my story but claimed he was afraid of getting sued. (even tho my perp is ashes now) Then that same week he went on youtube claiming Podesta and Alefantis are child molesters, and did not seem to have any liability concerns. He treated me like dirt, cared nothing for how I was feeling. He called me a psycho. Not a nice thing to say to someone that has DID. He is a narcissistic , opportunistic conman. A callous dick too. I saw another side that if you guys would see, would turn you off. He is milking this for all it's worth and filling his coffers. (and no Bitcoin does not draw more hits than pizzagate! No one give 2 squats about Bitcoin.!!) A few real serious researchers of CSA and SRA tried to reach out to him (other than myself), and he wanted nothing to do with them. So he rails all day about the poor sexually abused children at the hands of the big bad elite but here he had one ( albeit grown up now) that lands on his lap and he kicks her in the head. He could care less about anything but $$$.
Piscina ago
I'm sorry this happened to you. Is your story told anywhere?
stellarcorpse ago
No. When alive this person (my perp), was a powerful magician and I don't mean the Vegas type. I was to scared. Still am and he is dead. He was a member of a Secret Society. It's hard for people to understand this unless they have experienced and believe in the supernatural. As I know it may sound hokey to some. Also there was some (and still is) some Stockholm Syndrome shit going on with me. That is the killer. Hate & love.
Piscina ago
I believe you. I know women who have been sold 4 sex when they were little girls. A lifetime of hurt and pain results. The scars remain. But they battle on. They are fighters, like you. The fact that your abuse is even more hidden and more under cover makes it even harder for victims of ritual abuse to come out. I totally get the love/hate and the Stockholm syndrome. Many prostituted women have the dissociation, were sexually abused as children (and so they think that's all they have to offer), PTSD (which you probably have as well) and suffer Stockholm syndrome. They attempt to get their power back by repeating the abuse in prostitution in an attempt to re-frame it. But it doesn't work--it's like doing the same thing over and over again trying to get a different result.
Are you getting any counselling? The power that abusers hold over their victims can last a long time. Even for those not abused in a ritual setting. You are an adult now, but your abuser did such a great job of instilling that fear of him in you, that every time you encounter anything that even remotely reminds you of the event or him, your fight/flight/freeze will be triggered and you probably re-experience. That's the PTSD. When you break out of that magical thinking (of the power he has) you will see that he is a nothing. He is such a nothing that he had to puff himself up with importance by abusing an innocent, beautiful child. He was a manipulator, a psychopath and will be rotting in a horrid place in the afterlife.
Your love/hate is very common in abuse victims. Don't feel ashamed of it. This is the games predators play; they mess with your mind; they reel you in. It's called 'grooming'. The better the grooming, the more love is felt by the victim. Sorry, I hope I don't trigger you. You are a beautiful, strong woman. You just need assistance in getting through the trauma.
Sorry, I didn't want to meddle. I'm not a psychologist, just someone who's had some trauma herself, but not as bad as yours. Hugs.
stellarcorpse ago
You are 100% right! I have never prostituted but i get into dangerous/abusive relationships over & over trying to get a different outcome.I've almost been killed a couple of times. Also I would look for clones of him or people with his tendencies both physical/psychological. I see you know what I mean through personal experience. And yes, DID and PTSD and major depression. What is strange in my case is that the abuse occurred just once. (I think) but it was so very horrific in terms of gore and shock that it really marked me. (animal sacrifice/mutilation, etc..) Perhaps the worst part is that fact that I repressed it all and it came flooding back once I saw my perp in a film as a teen of 16. I thought I was going insane. I started to get flashbacks & nightmares with this person and I was like. But I''ve never even met him! And how could I ever talk to a therapist about this? I would surely get locked up!! But after some years , yes, I finally went into therapy and a few more memories come back and for me to figure it out. But there is that i still refuse to see. I also became my own private detective and found out a lot on my own about this person and their past. That in itself was highly dangerous as these were occult circles that took secrecy to the grave. I got involved in them to get info on my perp. All along he would do art, music videos, songs, films, displaying his dark tendencies, even the pedo ones but since he was a musician-ICON no body batted an eyelash. The absolute worst part about my entire ordeal was the fact he was so famous. I felt people would think I was making it up. I only wish that I was.
Piscina ago
Don't read this until you're ready, but it describes how even one traumatic torture (it's more than abuse) will make children to dissociate & develop MPD, and how it's used for the occult practices. It confirms and re-affirms your experience. It might help you to realise that there are many others out there who've had these atrocities committed on them, most times by the very people who are supposed to be protecting them, that is their parents.
These animals completely disempower these children and take from them what good parents spend years trying to build up--a good sense of self; a belief in themselves; and the skills to deal with the good and bad in life. The crimes are more heinous than simply abuse because the acts are a concerted effort to rip apart the spirit of the child. http://www.whale.to/b/pacememo.html
stellarcorpse ago
I had read that before. Excellent piece.
stellarcorpse ago
I would love to read this but I don't see the link? My parents had nothing to do with my abuse. I was taken walking home from school.
Piscina ago
Disregard the part about the parents. Just the paragraphs about how children are split after one torture is what I was talking about. http://www.whale.to/b/pacememo.html