Has anyone else gone to an adoption information session? I did years ago, long before I read about any of this stuff, and it turned my stomach. They were talking about the kids like they were commodities. White, non-disabled kids cost the most (in "fees") and have the longest waiting lists. If you are "willing" to take a kid with a "correctable deformity" or "non visible disability" like autism or deafness you have reduced fees. Visibly, permanently disabled kids and black kids have the lowest fees and a waiting list of a month or two. Yes, a black kid is at the bottom of the list with the kids who need serious help. Black adoptive parents are given preference to black kids but they will give a black kid to anyone, really, "even gay parents". Latino and mixed race kids are considered "white."
I was so upset and shocked after attending I have never publicly spoken about it before. I felt like I had attended a slave auction.
I haven't been to one, but your description sadly makes sense to me. I am curious, did you "get to know" any of the other prospective parents there? Notice anything about them?
All I remember is that the other people looked normal and nervous. Some of the men looked uncomfortable, like they didn't want to be there. I was a little surprised that no one asked us about our morals, faith, stance on drugs and alcohol or anything like that. There was no screening at all. Most people assume that we're not conservative types (we are) based on how we look. I got the distinct impression that all they cared about was your ability to pay.
The way this service worked was that you were supposed to create a social-media looking electronic picture album of your existing family and the birth mom would pick you out while she was still pregnant. Then you decide if you will do a closed adoption (no contact after the adoption) or an open one, where you might exchange letters throughout the child's life. As I thought about this, it seemed to me very easy to construct a false life. I could have stood in front of a nice house and taken a picture- the mom would have assumed it was mine. Taken pictures around ethnic people and the mom would assume I had black friends if I didn't. And who is to say that the open adoption letters would actually be from the child? It seems really easy to use in disturbing ways now that I think about it more.
Right, I'd honestly like to study the history of adoption. Like, how long have humans done this? Honestly, when did this start. It's probably one of the most important things we do as humans when you consider the impact it has on so many lives (oh yeah, and the potential for abuse) Personally, until recently, it's just been something that's always been around, and on top of that, it's always been talked about as one of the most noble things in existence today, so I haven't questioned it much. Never realized how much I don't know.
It might take awhile, but it might be worthwhile to our community here if you could create a substantive post after doing some research based on your experience. I think it's work looking into.
I'm not sure that the mods like my type of posts. Something I put up yesterday about cognitive dissonance got taken down even though several people had informative comments that added to it.
I mentioned one of my college friends in that post. She happens to be one of those overseas adoptions, where the rich people just go to an agency and say "I want a girl X age" or "a boy Y age" and if they pay enough one is just delivered to them. She knows another girl that was adopted the same way. Both of them are very wealthy. They're adults but they don't have to work except as something fun to do. In college my friend admitted to me that her adoptive dad had been hitting on her since puberty and saying that he wished he could have a baby with her. Very, very creepy. I begged her not to go back home when she graduated, but she had a little sister and said she had to protect her.
Now she is back home and will not acknowledge that she told me anything about her dad. She acts like he's her best friend. I feel like legally adopting (buying) a child to molest and keep forever in your wealthy lifestyle is a hidden type of sex slavery that people aren't aware of.
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VIrginiaPerson ago
Has anyone else gone to an adoption information session? I did years ago, long before I read about any of this stuff, and it turned my stomach. They were talking about the kids like they were commodities. White, non-disabled kids cost the most (in "fees") and have the longest waiting lists. If you are "willing" to take a kid with a "correctable deformity" or "non visible disability" like autism or deafness you have reduced fees. Visibly, permanently disabled kids and black kids have the lowest fees and a waiting list of a month or two. Yes, a black kid is at the bottom of the list with the kids who need serious help. Black adoptive parents are given preference to black kids but they will give a black kid to anyone, really, "even gay parents". Latino and mixed race kids are considered "white."
I was so upset and shocked after attending I have never publicly spoken about it before. I felt like I had attended a slave auction.
we_kill_creativity ago
I haven't been to one, but your description sadly makes sense to me. I am curious, did you "get to know" any of the other prospective parents there? Notice anything about them?
VIrginiaPerson ago
All I remember is that the other people looked normal and nervous. Some of the men looked uncomfortable, like they didn't want to be there. I was a little surprised that no one asked us about our morals, faith, stance on drugs and alcohol or anything like that. There was no screening at all. Most people assume that we're not conservative types (we are) based on how we look. I got the distinct impression that all they cared about was your ability to pay.
The way this service worked was that you were supposed to create a social-media looking electronic picture album of your existing family and the birth mom would pick you out while she was still pregnant. Then you decide if you will do a closed adoption (no contact after the adoption) or an open one, where you might exchange letters throughout the child's life. As I thought about this, it seemed to me very easy to construct a false life. I could have stood in front of a nice house and taken a picture- the mom would have assumed it was mine. Taken pictures around ethnic people and the mom would assume I had black friends if I didn't. And who is to say that the open adoption letters would actually be from the child? It seems really easy to use in disturbing ways now that I think about it more.
we_kill_creativity ago
Right, I'd honestly like to study the history of adoption. Like, how long have humans done this? Honestly, when did this start. It's probably one of the most important things we do as humans when you consider the impact it has on so many lives (oh yeah, and the potential for abuse) Personally, until recently, it's just been something that's always been around, and on top of that, it's always been talked about as one of the most noble things in existence today, so I haven't questioned it much. Never realized how much I don't know.
It might take awhile, but it might be worthwhile to our community here if you could create a substantive post after doing some research based on your experience. I think it's work looking into.
VIrginiaPerson ago
I'm not sure that the mods like my type of posts. Something I put up yesterday about cognitive dissonance got taken down even though several people had informative comments that added to it.
I mentioned one of my college friends in that post. She happens to be one of those overseas adoptions, where the rich people just go to an agency and say "I want a girl X age" or "a boy Y age" and if they pay enough one is just delivered to them. She knows another girl that was adopted the same way. Both of them are very wealthy. They're adults but they don't have to work except as something fun to do. In college my friend admitted to me that her adoptive dad had been hitting on her since puberty and saying that he wished he could have a baby with her. Very, very creepy. I begged her not to go back home when she graduated, but she had a little sister and said she had to protect her.
Now she is back home and will not acknowledge that she told me anything about her dad. She acts like he's her best friend. I feel like legally adopting (buying) a child to molest and keep forever in your wealthy lifestyle is a hidden type of sex slavery that people aren't aware of.