So, back in the early 2000's I admitted to myself that I was the dreaded "P" word. I won't go into a whole lot of back story but I will try and answer all your questions. I will start off by saying that I have never done anything that would be considered inappropriate to a child. Also, I personally hate that word so you will not find me using it here.
I have always been attracted to young girls, and weather anyone believes it or not I believe I was born this way because I cannot remember a time in my life where this was not the case.
Anyhow, fast forward to the mid 1990's until the mid 2000's and I found internet forums. I had been looking at and for CP from the time I got my first computer in 1994. We used to swap images in AOL chat-rooms, Hotwire, Napster, Scour and UseNet but I never actually had any kind of relationship with others like me until 1999 I found a forum called lilgirl forum which was run by a guy from England who went by the name Mystwr. ( I am only giving this information that could possibly expose me because there may be someone out there who can verify that I am not BSing here and I want to do whatever I can to help bring these fuckers down. You all might hate me, and that's fine I'm not here to discuss the morality of pedophilia, I'm just here to help expose these sick fucks hurting children. )
I had found a place with people just like me. We would talk together about girls and our attractions and stuff like that, most of us were very strict about not acting out our desires and using each other as support.
Myself, Mystwr, and I would say 99% of the people there (and there were thousands many famous people, judges, lawyers, musicians, politicians, athletes and regularJoes, even women..) were 100% against ANY mistreatment of children and we were active in going so far as to report to law enforcement people whom we found to be an actual threat to children. I am not trying to say we were saints, we all watched CP we traded it etc. and I know at some level that was contributing to the problem and that is a part of the reason I eventually left the community. We had meetups we would travel across the country in some cases to meet up with other people from the forum and chat and just have a good time knowing we could talk to another human being about things we dare never speak aloud. When I first met another person like me I think we cried for a good half hour together it was just a huge emotional release. Several of our members ended up killing themselves and we ran a support system to prevent suicide of others like us.
Let me explain that this was a time in my life where I absolutely hated myself for how I felt and like a horrible human being. I knew I would never hurt anyone but the repressed feelings were impossible to withhold and watching CP is how I dealt with that. Meeting others like me and just being able to talk to them was more satisfying that any amount of CP and it eventually helped me to deal with these feelings to the point where I hardly notice them anymore. It was a long, difficult road but I am glad I found the people I did.
Anyhow, fast forward a few years I had become so active in the forums that I ended up running them. Mywsr had been busted for CP and was locked up and many others were busted in stings around the world. I started several of my own forums and became somewhat of a celebrity among the community. People respected me and respected my hard stance on things like torture, rape, exploitation etc. I admit that back then I had a whole lot of different views than I have now. I was an advocate of free love no matter age and my stance on that has changed drastically since then.
Anyhow, I ended up leaving the community, it became too much of a burden people were getting locked up and it turned into a place I could no longer associate with. Shortly after I gave up CP completely and can proudly say that I haven't looked back. I am still attracted to young girls and I am sure I always will be.
That all being said I'm writing this because I do have knowledge that is unique to this situation so I thought I could answer some questions for you guys because what is being done is horrible and these people need to be locked up. I doubt that my knowledge will be of a lot of help but whatever I can do to help put these fuckers away I will do.
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5151 ago
If I had to guess I would say that it has to do with BDSM not entirely sure it has to do specifically with children. Like I said before I imagine these people were involved in all kinds of sexual madness. Including but not exclusively children.