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20416825? ago

Pray for those who wrong you.

20417332? ago

I can't. I never understood this part.

20420968? ago

My mother abused me when I was a child. I was taken from her at around 2 because of neglect. Then around four years old my father and mother sobered up, got a rented house and regained custody. That's when the real abuse started. Thankfully, my mother and father parted again and my father took me on a long train ride and then abandoned me to my Grandparents once more. Fast forward 50 some years and a caregiver at a nursing home contacted me and told me my mother was in her care and had tasked her with finding me. I had for many years imagined the woman was dead and felt not much at all, or so I thought. At the news she was alive I was shocked and in emotional turmoil. Outrage that she would attempt to contact me, anger and other emotions I couldn't deal with. I wrote back about all the abuse that had been done to me. Over facebook I went back and forth with the caregiver as liaison for my mother and I. Oh, she would make it up to me I was told. That just enraged me more. Then, the caregiver told how my mother admitted everything and regretted how she treated me and had wanted to reach out to me for years. I began to soften. I just wanted to know why. Why? Why the torture, the unkind words, the constant terror I was put through during the time I was with her? Why? It was actually very simple. My mother grew up abused also, abused in many ways and felt a sense of inferiority. When she got me back from my grandparents she was paranoid of losing me again to them and felt like my affections were for my grandparents. In her own twisted way she was trying to force me to be loyal to her. I was told she now knew how wrong she was and how badly she behaved. She was sorry for the pain she caused me and just wanted me to know that. Emotionally, I couldn't give her the one thing she really wanted and that was a phone call. I just couldn't speak to her because it was too upsetting but I let her know I forgave her and wished her to have peace in her heart. Soon she took a turn for the worse and I stayed quiet for a couple weeks knowing what was coming. The caregiver told me that hardly a day went by but what my mother spoke of me. I had hand carved her a cane from an orange tree that really was quite nice looking. She was able to use it for a time before she became too ill and she proudly went around to the other people in the nursing home showing off the cane her son had made for her. She spoke how she always knew I was the smartest child she had and maybe she was a bit jealous of the intelligence I showed is a thought I have.

So, one day, being confined to bed and too weak to get up she asked the caregiver for an ice cream cone. She seemed to enjoy eating it and then when finished she told the caregiver, "Thank you for finding him for me." Smiled and then died, just like that. The doctor was called and sure enough, her heart had just stopped.

So, I'm glad I was able to forgive her, glad she died in peace and very glad to be released from years of suppressed anger. I was also able to pray for her and asked God to receive her with my recommendation. For the first time I do understand praying for someone who has wronged me.

20422941? ago

Your post is very heartfelt and beautifully written. Thank you so much for writing. And the responses to you are all so caring, reflective and touching. Reading this is so helpful to understanding forgiveness. We are all connected. I love you all. WWG1WGA is very, very true.