I used to be a "normal" American guy -- I went to school, I got a good job, I had a house, a car, I used to love "stuff"... and I had everything: the electronic toys, the clothes, the gadgets, and all the accessories. I used to love movies: I had a massive movie collection. I used to love music: I had hundreds of gigs of music. I have a stack of concert ticket stubs and tons of concert t-shirts. My yard and house were very respectable, I spent time and money landscaping. I watched the news. I had debates with co-workers and family members about politics. I even had hobbies: coin collecting, woodworking, mountain biking, and surfing. I used to put on my good suit and go to church on Sunday and talk with all the other people there. I saw my career as a path towards upward mobility. I played politics in the company. I worked over time. I got in good with the boss. I climbed the corporate ladder.
But, then, I started to really get into Conspiracy Theory (back in like 2012 / 2013). I went DEEP down the rabbit hole and came out the other side. I wanted to know EVERYTHING! I did days and weeks of research. I immersed myself into it completely. In 2016 I jumped into Pizzagate research with both feet. I devoured everything there was to know. Then, in 2017, I hopped on the Q Anon bandwagon and went even deeper.
Something changed inside of me. I woke up! I no longer saw the world as I used to. I quit my job. I sold all my stuff. I've downsized my entire life. I've been living off my savings for a few years now. I no longer see a point to participating in the "real" (fake) world. I know that everything that I see is a lie. Everything that I've ever known is a lie. My whole world has been nothing but one giant lie from the start and I can see that clearly now. So, why bother? What is the point of perpetuating the corrupt system by playing along? Why bother pretending that anything matters? I have myself set up in a good situation financially. I spend very little money and I grow a lot of my own food. My expenses are minimal. I may never have to work again. I can just live on the bare minimum and avoid the fake world altogether.
The only people that I actually hang out and talk to are people who know the truth. I can't even interact with people who still believe the fake world is real. I just can't do it. Basically: I can no longer function in the fake real world. It pains me to play along with some stupid game that I know is fake. Now all I do is sit around here (and various other conspiracy forums) and look for news of "The Event". I'm waiting for that one trigger event that will end this whole corrupt system. I keep watching and praying and waiting. Maybe it will be a huge war? Maybe it will be a financial collapse? Maybe it will be some external event (aliens)? Either way, we're on the edge of the cliff and looking down into the abyss. It's only a matter of time before this whole thing blows up and ends.
Until then, I'm just going to be a drop out and mind my own business. I'm going to wait and learn as much as I can. Someday, when it all comes crashing down, a huge weight will be lifted off my shoulders and I will finally get to exist in the REAL world again.
Does anyone else feel this way?
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15225244? ago
I'd say your story is not uncommon here. Those who know cannot sleep. Justice can not come fast enough...
15225913? ago
Exactly.
15226138? ago
We had no idea just what Q meant when they first told us. Now? Now we know exactly what they meant.
"Those who know cannot sleep." Q
We can no longer live in "the beautiful lie." We see it for the vile creation that it really is.
15227814? ago
Some of us knew already.
19, almost offed myself back in middle school. The human mind isn't meant to be in that position, and you can learn a whole lot from that little experience. Especially about yourself.
I'll never forgive myself for that fucking night. I nearly started a world of shit for my family, left without contributing a damn thing to the white race, and by extension my homeland, and would've ended up in a dimension that can only be known as Hell.
It's funny, looking back though. I'm glad I got to that point. You don't know the value of life until you are about to lose yours or take it. I was in a position of doing both at the same time.
So... I always was a history nerd. Especially about WWII. When I saw what Patton said about Nazis, I gave the Reich a more objective look.... Boy... I had no idea what I was getting into.
I found myself agreeing with damn near everything Hitler said, and what I didn't agree with I researched as to WHY he said such things. Which would lead me to agree with the man. (See: Jews)
Annnnd here I am. I can't fucking sleep because of nightmares and shit, no doubt onset by the things I've seen from myself and what I've watched and listened to on "alternative sources". People that say "Oh you don't know what it's like because you weren't there, you just watched a video hurr durr"... They're literal dumbasses. Sure, I wasn't there, and didn't get the "full experience", but I've seen enough. Hell, if you want proof videos fuck with your head look at porn! Tell me they don't do anything. Try it. This isn't 1980 where we're getting 240p resolution or some shit. No, you get to see and hear every damn detail. Ever watch those ISIS executions? Yeah. Tell me it doesn't fuck with you. Once again, try it.
Those who know can't sleep because even getting near the Truth gets you so excited on one hand, because you KNOW there's a better future out there for those that deserve it, but on the other hand it is fucking terrifying because you know exactly what is at stake.... Quite literally everything.
Have you ever wondered how the SS kept fighting throughout the war so vigorously, or elements of the Wehrmacht? I won't argue it qas partly because they had (it would seem) no ither choice, but it was because these men knew. They knew, especially the SS. They knew what was at stake and were willing to give it everything they had. From Warsaw to Stalingrad all the way back to Berlin. Not many armies displayed such vigorous loyalty to a cause in human history. Especially not in modern history.
Shit's fucked gentlemen.
I'm just some fucking kid, but damn it I have this "feeling" like this is our last chance for a very, very, very long time. Something is going to happen. I don't think it's related to Q at all and honestly I'm very skeptical of Q, but there's just a "feeling" I've had for a looooonnng time that's inly intensified as time goes on.
God with us. o/
15228187? ago
I know that this is unrelated to what you wrote. But I think that you would be intrigued, all the same. It's a reply I wrote to someone else on an unrelated topic.
Take care (of yourself), and God bless you!
15228245? ago
Hmm... Now that is certainly interesting.
There's also the whole thing about God speaking... Sound, waves, frequencies, they do some rather interesting things. Cymatics.
15234168? ago
Here's an interesting "theory of everything" based on the idea that all subatomic particles are electromagnetic standing waves http://www.blazelabs.com/f-p-element.asp I'm not sure if it's how the universe really works, but still a fascinating read, and a lot of good evidence for it. Long, though. AFAIK, Milo Wolff is the originator of the theory, but blazelabs has worked out a lot of the details.
15228629? ago
Wow, thanks for the new word! My research never ends!
Yes, I just added a line about the "one of us" issue in Genesis. I think it is a big clue as to the purpose and meaning behind this whole project called Earth.
You see, Lucifer sought to be like God and tempts Adam and Eve to be like God.
Why is Satan's mission to gather up souls which seek to be like God, yet enslaves them through temptations of the flesh in the form of hedonism and wanton disregard?
Why is God's mission to free souls which seek truth and life, and teaches them to be masters of temptation through obedience and discipline?
If we were created in the image of God, why is being like God such a huge temptation?
If pride is the original sin and, indeed, is the root of all other sins (greed, lust, gluttony, et cetera), then is not the object of that pride to be like God?
What does it even mean to be like God?
Genesis says, to "know good and evil." But what do they mean by "know?" To "know" a woman is to become one flesh with her. Is that similar to knowing good and evil?
And regardless of the answer to that question, it begs a new question: what is the difference between being like God and being cast in His image?
Is one an illusion; an elusive, unattainable goal designed to tempt?
Why did Lucifer pursue it?
I, honestly, don't know the answers to these questions. But I seek.