Cancer is what god gave humans cause that dumb slut ate the apple. It’s like radiation. The apple makes you smart but is also highly toxic. It’s like how superheroes are made.
Just because we are majority christian doesnt mean you can just pretend to be one of us and make us look like retards you stupid retarded kike. The goyim know.
See it’s actually Adams fault for being a little flamer and never tapping that ass. He probably got horny and “ate” it the same way eve did. Saw her gagging and thought “I wanna try that” Damnit I’m not going back to edit that story. How awesome would it be getting to fuck your kids and cousins? Yea I know but we HAVE to reproduce! God said so that’s why! grins and rolls eyes Come over here and blow daddy till he’s not so stressed out anymore. Yea well call that a platypus. Wtf god did you make that during eves cam show? Hey god next time don’t give me a dick if the vagina doesn’t exist yet. K? Thx dick.
Bananas would make for a sexier creation story. Adam didn’t WANT to stick anything there but he was horny and didn’t know what sex was. Eve sat in the cave drawing unnamed things with something also not named yet and grew tired of waiting on Adams stupid ass. Eve wondered into the garden and said WHY DID YOU MAKE ME DO HORNY GOD!?! Suddenly she turned to see a long slender animal telling her to deepthroat a long slender fruit. “Say no more” she moaned as she grabbed the yellow better vegetable and thrust it her snatch. She then removed it and started cramming it down her throat. at some point during her gyrations the peel hath torn and while she was teatinf her sexual limits the banana doth slitppith down her throateth. God was not pleased but also aroused so god made some women sluts. Not a total dick as he did also make us horny little retards. Praise Allah!
I was unaware you were alive back then to claim "None of it happened" with such certainty.
You must have some amazing stories being alive for 6000 years and all.
Perhaps you are one of those who claim "there is no God", after all, you have no doubt traveled the universe for the last few millions of years searching every galaxy, every planet, under every rock for a "God"
Impressive.
Us poor slobs who have never even left the planet envy your incredible knowledge. Please do not overload us with your genius. We are mere plebeians in comparison.
The burden of proof is on the believer. There is absolutely no proof of any magical garden let alone bones from people who lived 600+ years of age.
Perhaps you are one of those who claim "there is no God", after all, you have no doubt traveled the universe for the last few millions of years searching every galaxy, every planet, under every rock for a "God"
Either that or "I am my own god", I am the decider of my fate, I am the pilot of this vessel.
Us poor slobs who have never even left the planet envy your incredible knowledge. Please do not overload us with your genius. We are mere plebeians in comparison.
All good bro, keep worshipping a Jew as god. Accept Jesus as the answer to everything, don't go looking elsewhere for knowledge.
Adam wasnt a jew. Noah wasnt a jew. Abraham wasnt a jew.
Their fictional timeline is before "the tribe of Judah" and led to the creation of the Jew.
Jacob
Jacob, later given the name Israel, is regarded as a Patriarch of the Israelites. According to the Book of Genesis, Jacob was the third Hebrew progenitor with whom God made a covenant. He is the son of Isaac and Rebecca, the grandson of Abraham
lol
They even killed the very Son of God.
No they didn't, they killed some Jew who claimed to be the king of all Jews.
But so did you. And so did I.
Uhh..
You are also responsible for your ancestors enslaving the black people.
Wasnt a jew on this planet until 1500+ years of its (biblical) existence.
Wrong. Before they were called Jews they were called Yehudi. Jew is the english translation of the word Yehudi as the Jewish scripture wasn't translated into the english language until the 1500's.
They were "chosen" to be priests of God. They failed.
They made a covenant, basically: Worship the dictator and the dictator will protect you.
Sounds like your jewdar is signalling the wrong things to be angry about.
You don't know the history behind the ideology you base your life on.
view the rest of the comments →
loltidderkcuf ago
Riiiight, cancer...
Maroonsaint ago
Cancer is what god gave humans cause that dumb slut ate the apple. It’s like radiation. The apple makes you smart but is also highly toxic. It’s like how superheroes are made.
RageAgainstTheAmish ago
Just because we are majority christian doesnt mean you can just pretend to be one of us and make us look like retards you stupid retarded kike. The goyim know.
Maroonsaint ago
EVE WAS A BITCH THATS WHY ALL WOMEN HAVE SOME BITCH IN EM
BlueDrache ago
Since apples didn't exist in Sumeria, the "forbidden fruit" is most likely a banana, not an apple.
Maroonsaint ago
See it’s actually Adams fault for being a little flamer and never tapping that ass. He probably got horny and “ate” it the same way eve did. Saw her gagging and thought “I wanna try that” Damnit I’m not going back to edit that story. How awesome would it be getting to fuck your kids and cousins? Yea I know but we HAVE to reproduce! God said so that’s why! grins and rolls eyes Come over here and blow daddy till he’s not so stressed out anymore. Yea well call that a platypus. Wtf god did you make that during eves cam show? Hey god next time don’t give me a dick if the vagina doesn’t exist yet. K? Thx dick.
Maroonsaint ago
Bananas would make for a sexier creation story. Adam didn’t WANT to stick anything there but he was horny and didn’t know what sex was. Eve sat in the cave drawing unnamed things with something also not named yet and grew tired of waiting on Adams stupid ass. Eve wondered into the garden and said WHY DID YOU MAKE ME DO HORNY GOD!?! Suddenly she turned to see a long slender animal telling her to deepthroat a long slender fruit. “Say no more” she moaned as she grabbed the yellow better vegetable and thrust it her snatch. She then removed it and started cramming it down her throat. at some point during her gyrations the peel hath torn and while she was teatinf her sexual limits the banana doth slitppith down her throateth. God was not pleased but also aroused so god made some women sluts. Not a total dick as he did also make us horny little retards. Praise Allah!
Jungun ago
It was a psilocybin mushroom according to the great Terence McKenna.
TheAntiZealot ago
Terence McKenna. My man.
Chimaira92 ago
That verse sums up religion perfectly.
Remain a dumb ignorant slave, don't gain knowledge. Knowledge is bad for you.
70times7 ago
The tree didnt make them smarter.
It showed them disobedience.
Knowledge of good and evil. Not knowledge of advance physics.
Youve listened to one too many liberals pretending to be smart. You have caught their disease.
Chimaira92 ago
None of it happened, I was playing "devils advocate". You seriously have to be the most gullible person to believe this shit actually happened.
So playing devils advocate again:
How did the fruit show them disobedience if they had to disobey to consume the fruit to begin with. :L
It doesn't specify, there would also be no advance physics had they remained ignorant slaves in eden regardless.
I've formed my own opinion based on my interpretation of scripture.
You are the one who has been brainwashed into a Jewish cult by non-Jews. Built around worshipping a Jew as a god.
70times7 ago
I was unaware you were alive back then to claim "None of it happened" with such certainty.
You must have some amazing stories being alive for 6000 years and all.
Perhaps you are one of those who claim "there is no God", after all, you have no doubt traveled the universe for the last few millions of years searching every galaxy, every planet, under every rock for a "God"
Impressive.
Us poor slobs who have never even left the planet envy your incredible knowledge. Please do not overload us with your genius. We are mere plebeians in comparison.
Chimaira92 ago
The burden of proof is on the believer. There is absolutely no proof of any magical garden let alone bones from people who lived 600+ years of age.
Either that or "I am my own god", I am the decider of my fate, I am the pilot of this vessel.
All good bro, keep worshipping a Jew as god. Accept Jesus as the answer to everything, don't go looking elsewhere for knowledge.
:)
70times7 ago
Whatever you say space man.
Chimaira92 ago
I didn't know you also believed in big foot and unicorns.
Clearly you have travelled around the universe to hold the stance that they don't exist.
70times7 ago
There could be a planet of 1000 foot tall rabbits that poop diamonds the size of dinosaurs for all any of us know.
Seeing as we know far far less then .00000000000001% of this existence/universe, ruling out anything is in reality pretty silly.
We are an ignorant lot. And we will be till this whole thing collapses.
We should be more kind.
Chimaira92 ago
There could also be millions of gods, each being a ruler/tyrant over a different sect of the universe.
Deciding that theres only one god, the one who chose the Jews as his people to begin with, is pretty silly.
70times7 ago
Adam wasnt a jew. Noah wasnt a jew. Abraham wasnt a jew.
Jews are scum yeah. (we all are actually but...)
They even killed the very Son of God.
But so did you. And so did I.
Wasnt a jew on this planet until 1500+ years of its (biblical) existence.
They were "chosen" to be priests of God. They failed.
Sounds like your jewdar is signalling the wrong things to be angry about.
Chimaira92 ago
Their fictional timeline is before "the tribe of Judah" and led to the creation of the Jew.
lol
No they didn't, they killed some Jew who claimed to be the king of all Jews.
Uhh..
You are also responsible for your ancestors enslaving the black people.
Wrong. Before they were called Jews they were called Yehudi. Jew is the english translation of the word Yehudi as the Jewish scripture wasn't translated into the english language until the 1500's.
They made a covenant, basically: Worship the dictator and the dictator will protect you.
You don't know the history behind the ideology you base your life on.
70times7 ago
Enjoy what you have left spaceman.
Hug your mother/wife/kids.
Chimaira92 ago
If you are still worshipping a jew on the day of the rope, you shall join the other communists.
Until then, i wish you and your family the best.
Rotteuxx ago
You don't eat too many apples, do you Einstein ?
El_oso_mugroso14 ago
To be fair apple seeds do contain traces of cyanide and when eaten in excess will fuck you up... the seeds not the Apple itself.
UlyssesEMcGill ago
Fruit is garbage
elitch2 ago
60g of sugar for your average red apple variety.
UlyssesEMcGill ago
Sounds like 100% garbage to me.
elitch2 ago
I get a giggle from people who juice. They turn candy into syrup, and then tell everyone how healthy they are.
UlyssesEMcGill ago
Even juicing vegetables is shit; ruins the fiber content.
No.1 rule of not being a fat is "don't drink your calories"
elitch2 ago
Yep. It's funny to listen to them "but, but, but" when you tell them this.
Poot_McGarvey ago
false.
UlyssesEMcGill ago
Apples are the shiny rubies of Lord Beetus.