I have ~$1000 right now. How can I use this to make money?

I would like to see some kind of return in a month or less, so stock trading and college is out of the question.

Some ideas I had were:

Start a small business

Not sure what kind of business but I'm open to anything.

Teach myself a trade

Something like buying the required tools and an up to date textbook and use that to get started with a construction company, maybe even get some certs if it's needed.

Mobile computer/phone/electronics repair

Similar to the previous idea but with computers assuming the necessary tools wouldn't be more than my budget

online custom sticker/pin shop

The needed things for this would probably cost at most 100-200 bucks, and I could do it from home.

Feeder fish breeding

With that money I could probably buy several smallish fish tanks and the equipment and then stock it with guppies or any kind of feeder fish and breed them. Most costs with this would be one time and or marginal, however I don't know what market there is for this, maybe I could sell to fishermen as bait.

Small time fisherman

I could get a small boat and fishing equipment and sell my fresh catch to local restaurants, although this would mean being in competition with established commercial fishers, who would probably outclass me.

Diving

I could dive in popular swimming areas and look for lost items such as phones, wallets, jewelry, anything people might have lost in these places, and then maybe attempt to sell them to a repair place, although this seems unprofitable.

Physical therapy/Massage

I don't know the requirements for this kind of job but it seems like it could make a good bit, plus it would give me a reason to be clean cut and handsome.

Art

Not the shitty degenerate kind but actual classic style drawings/paintings. This however would require much practice and knowledge, and the market seems fairly saturated with high school drawfags.

Personal security

This one would be ok as I have most of the needed things guns, gear, clothing, attitude, etc but I believe there are also age requirements, licensing, and background, which I'm not sure I'm up to par with.

I'm open to any suggestions you may have. Any information/guides are appreciated, especially information regarding shipping stuff and how to keep costs down on it.

I ask this here because most other topic related boards are dead and this seems to be the appropriate place to ask