I Got Passed Out Drunk (whatever)

submitted ago by Tyrone_Jones

I got passed out drunk and fell asleep on an old church pew. When I woke I couldn't feel my legs or my left arm. The ER doctor that I saw said I have "Saturday Night Palsy". I have absolutely no feeling in my Lower Half and my Left Arm is less than useful. A physical therapist and a neurologist said this was the worst case they have ever seen and I am basically an invalid now and dependent on my loving wife for absolutely every thing. I have one of the oldest accounts here and broke out this old burner to tell all y'all how stupid my decisions have been and that ***I RUINED MY AND MY WIFE'S LIFE ***/ Don't be like me. / I'm going to need you people more than ever over the next few months.

cyclops1771 ago

Get a CONTAINER

Tyrone_Jones ago

I think I'm going to like you.

englishwebster ago

First I ever hear of such a thing. Talk about bad luck

capnflummox ago

Get the fuck out, kike.

Hoppes9 ago

Stop poisoning your body.

Computergeek01 ago

fell asleep on an old church pew.

Because my first impulse when I'm out drinking is to break into a church... What the fuck is wrong with you?

Tyrone_Jones ago

I'm seriously dumb.

muffalettadiver ago

Go to physical therapy as much as you can. Cut out sugars and (most) carbs. Get healthy. DONT FUCKING DRINK....

Let this be a wake up call or a trial by fire. Be the warrior that you know you are. Godspeed...

Firinmahlazer ago

I feel for your injury but I'm going to give you some harsh words. Grow the fuck up. Drinking until you pass out is stupid, childish, and irresponsible. You have a wife so I'm assuming you have some kind of employment and you're going to piss it all away for some booze? I say this with love because I've struggled myself. Get help and get your drinking under control. God's speed in your physical and mental recovery goat.

Tyrone_Jones ago

I constantly sob and need sympathy, I don't deserve. Come commiserate with me.

ZackMorris78 ago

How the fuck you drink so much that you sleep so hard that you compress your nerves to the point of paralysis. For fuck sake one lil toke in between your 9th and 18th shot of booze would've put you out like a baby. Get to physical rehab asap, get in a pool of water, and stop eating sugars and carbs.

HulkJizz ago

You gone die. Can I have your car?

AntiMason ago

Damn that sucks. Maybe it can slowly heal.