Thornamajig ago

I've got a lizard problem myself . They're looking to cool down from the summer heat. They love to hang out on the patio or garage if I leave the door open for more than a couple minutes.

drstrangegov ago

Why do syrians fuck corpses? Does it have something to do with the temple of Baal in Palmyra?

Corpse_washer ago

Chickens

tomdogg ago

“You can’t beat nature. It always wins.” - my friend that owns a pest control company

xenoPsychologist ago

eat it if you are scared of it. its the only way to gain its strength.

con77 ago

skink. good luck. on the bright side they eat bugs

speedisavirus ago

This is the asshole taunting me...

https://i.imgur.com/Kdz1pXd.jpg

JustSomeGuy49 ago

Capture it in a box and take let it loose a couple miles from your home, maybe near the home of someone you don't like. Problem solved.

speedisavirus ago

It's exceedingly comfortable with me after spending a whole day chasing it off so I probably could box it...

Dailytacs ago

I love all the lizards around my place. Once, my kids caught like 50, I'm not kidding. My daughter put several on her ears like earrings. They bit her ear and hung there for quite a long time. Good times...

They eat mosquitos and other such bugs, so in my book they are awesome critters.

bazinga ago

Grill it.

speedisavirus ago

Come the zombie apocalypse I will. It's a little too comfortable with me. It even skulks watching me.

https://voat.co/v/whatever/3282272/19222028

grandmacaesar ago

That's a skink. He's a friendly fellow that eats bugs. He's one of the good guys. Let him help you by allowing him to eat the bugs in your garage.

speedisavirus ago

I'm cool with him eating bugs. Not in my house. He has been pretty darty not only to the garage but towards the door in the house. Used to live out back until my dog disturbed it in tall grass. I generally had kept spiders to have domain to eat pests and it's all good this very large bastard wants to but I'd prefer it does it outside my living quarters.

grandmacaesar ago

Just imagine it's your dead uncle Larry reincarnated.

Thatsmybutthole ago

Hes a friendly reptile, just wants to keep your pests under control

speedisavirus ago

Needs to do that outside where I want him to control them. I let the spiders inside. half foot lizards need to remain outside.

MrPim ago

A skink I think. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Skink

speedisavirus ago

Yeah, it's a skink of some kind. There was also a smaller blue-ish white striped smaller asshole that ran into my garage that I can't find. No idea what it is and looking up "mid atlantic lizards" isn't that comprehensive. I grew up between here and delaware and I never had a lizard issue until this year.

Firevine ago

The blue striped one is likely a five-lined skink. Black body, blue tail, with the lines running down the length.

Pretty sure that the one in your picture is a Broadhead. Something has gotten ahold of the poor guy.

To keep him out of your garage, you're going to have to catch him and release him down the road a bit.

If you've got a cat, you want to keep it away from skinks. They can cause permanent neurological issues in cats if eaten.

speedisavirus ago

Something has gotten ahold of the poor guy.

That was my Vizsla. She was really obsessed with some tall grass. I grabbed her and this one ran out frantically. Pretty sure she got the tail. Now it is in my front yard instead of the back where the dog has reign.

I don't believe in cats especially outside. They are invasive species. Some of the neighbors don't seem to agree...tempted to start plinking them as they are taking over. There is lots of food in the garage for him but none the less...not the best place for a lizard and forget it if it ran over my wife's feet or something. I'm maybe going to try and trap it if it won't leave on it's own. Prefer it lives a long healthy life...not in my garage. As far as the smaller one...it ran in and I can't find the fucker.

Firevine ago

Keep an eye on her. I know skinks cause the issues with cats, but I'm not sure about dogs.

If you catch the little dude, keep in mind that they're mean little assholes.

speedisavirus ago

I've had crested gecko as a pet and that thing never stopped being an asshole. A wild lizard has to be 10 times the asshole at least.

speedisavirus ago

I chased it out more than once now. My dog almost ate it in the back yard but since then it's taken up residence up front. After chasing it out I've seen it come back and eye me up. Chased it away a dozen plus times and it always comes back looking at me and the garage.

Le_Squish ago

Why do you want to keep him out? He just wants to eat your bugs.

speedisavirus ago

That's my excuse for the spiders I let run around. A large lizard on the other hand is a little more intrusive. If my dog didn't take it's tale the damn thing was nearly a foot long. Minus tail it's probably more like 6 or 7 inches.

virge ago

Why do you want to keep him out? He just wants to eat your bugs.

This just means @speedisavirus should keep it, they defend from bug people like @Le_Squish.

In before [Deleted] because the unoriginal cunt even fails at trolling.

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speedisavirus ago

You see, that's my excuse for the spiders I let stick around. A 7" lizard on the other hand is a little different.

Phantom42 ago

I can see letting a grass spider stick around, but if they are anywhere near my bed... Well, sorry brother but you're being relocated.

Anything else though, fucking kill on sight. Fiddlebacks especially. Fuck those fucking fuckers.

speedisavirus ago

I get a lot of pretty ones so I generally let them do their thing as long as their webs aren't intrusive. Some yellow...some metallic green...some with interesting white patterns. Outside is usually the issue honestly. I get an orb weaver I swear every year that thinks completely webbing up my sliding door to my patio is a good idea. Pretty spider but I kind of like getting out there and it's always one that's nearly an inch in leg span.

Phantom42 ago

I've only seen two Orb weavers here in good ol' Okleehomer, but man they are very pretty creatures. Good webs too, not your usual hohum I need a home web.

Basically, these orbygals aren't niggers mmk? They're cool.

speedisavirus ago

Yeah, their webs are pretty ornate but also when I have to clear it they have some pretty legit tensile strength.