The only way to ascend is to destroy the self serving ego, in service of the greater good. Anyone who claims otherwise is a fraud and part of the deception.....and possibly involved in the cycle of abuse you mention. However genuine service doesn't have to occur within a mystery school, they are not all frauds, and mostly not all on the material plane, with no desire to sacrifice anything for anyone (since all is God and God is all). It is good you are researching this stuff, keep going, it will help you know both your enemies (and friends) better.