Oh, I've been reading about the election and then PG probably daily since last Summer. I don't talk about what happened to me in my daily life, so I mostly felt uninvolved. You know, like, "I'm a regular person, this has nothing to do with me." But then I'd read something and think about how it applied to my family.
I did some thinking last night about how I felt after talking about it. I felt dirty. Like it had happened again and like it was my fault.
I once had a couple of conversations with another extreme abuse survivor, who I think was sexually abused as a kid. He told me that his mom forced him to drown kittens when he was a little boy, because they "couldn't afford" the kittens. This would have been in the 1990s. I heard from someone else that when he was little, his mom was a prostitute and would bring clients back to their house. This guy (then something like 3 or 4) would listen at the door and cry while she serviced the client. He told me that it's best just to never tell anyone anything. Because you'll end up saying something heavy and then they look at you weird and you've gone and ruined things for everyone. Everyone feels bad and you look like a chump, a victim.
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VIrginiaPerson ago
Oh, I've been reading about the election and then PG probably daily since last Summer. I don't talk about what happened to me in my daily life, so I mostly felt uninvolved. You know, like, "I'm a regular person, this has nothing to do with me." But then I'd read something and think about how it applied to my family.
I did some thinking last night about how I felt after talking about it. I felt dirty. Like it had happened again and like it was my fault.
I once had a couple of conversations with another extreme abuse survivor, who I think was sexually abused as a kid. He told me that his mom forced him to drown kittens when he was a little boy, because they "couldn't afford" the kittens. This would have been in the 1990s. I heard from someone else that when he was little, his mom was a prostitute and would bring clients back to their house. This guy (then something like 3 or 4) would listen at the door and cry while she serviced the client. He told me that it's best just to never tell anyone anything. Because you'll end up saying something heavy and then they look at you weird and you've gone and ruined things for everyone. Everyone feels bad and you look like a chump, a victim.