Researchers,
I thought I would open this post up. A lot of us have been tracking this stuff for a while. Some for a very, very long time. At some point, most of us have felt a "change" in our psyche as the reality of what is going on in the world and pizzagate itself.
Not to go all touchy feely, but I think a place where we can vent a bit. Talk about things that are burning inside a it relates to this research.
Personally, I have felt a noticeable change in my demeanor. My spouse has noticed a well. I'm not depressed, but solemn. I walk through public areas and no longer notice cute members of the opposite gender. I look at logos, icons, small details pertaining to CP. I can't help not.
So, laugh away, but I have the feeling I'm not the only one who feels the weight of this research in their lives.
And I personally will unload both barrels on any fucking shills who try to hijack this thread.
view the rest of the comments →
thelastaelor ago
I'm not really the type to keep journals or anything, but whenever i feel conflicted or really need to do some soul-searching, I always have conversation with myself on page. I'll start with a broad topic but a specific question, like, "What do I expect to get out my current actions" or "What ideas constitute my identity?" Or obviously whatever else is on your mind. A plus to this is that you'll be able to keep track of changes in your thoughts over time.
Edit:
On a bit of a side note, an image I can't help but think pf recently is the 'monster-hunter' trope. There's probably a real name for this written somewhere, but you know what I mean: there's the outcast hunter who specializes in hunting demons or monster or whatever; he has taken on demonic appearance/ aspects himself because of his craft, and the villagers who don't know any better are scared of him and group him in with the demons.
Researching this stuff, you may have to become someone else, and if you don't think you can handle it I wouldn't recommend pursuing it. But if you can't help but think about, and there's something inside you that compels you to do it, then (fortunately or unfortunately) you might be cursed, and you'll have to follow the path in front of you.
Something to take with you: in my own identity crises, I've realized you change who you are with every passing moment. I'm not sure if there's some kernel which actually remains constant, but regardless, the question you have to ask is, "if something isn't unchanging, what's the value in holding on to it anyway?" And the cool things about things that change, is that they can always change back.
Looking back on this post, I feel sort of embarrassed writing it, but whatever, I'll hit save.