"I had four cocktails on this trip so my body fat went from 9% to 11% and I've got this tiny ponch, but I still need validation from other people for my body because while I'm a celebrity I feel more alone than ever because being famous isn't like admiring someone famous it's like you're a fraud that hasn't been found out so I need to both feign honesty and reach out for connection because if I were truly as vulnerable as my instincts tell me to be I'd be at home with a family but instead I'm a hoe washed up on the beach of life about to hit the wall at full speed but at least I'll have this picture to remind me of how beautiful I looked for one day before I decided it wasn't worth it and pulled the pin of the fat grenade and went full Susan Boyle."