LOL If I had no money, I'd be permanently disabled from this! I would, too. That injury is good for a disability claim.
I just had some lady come along and dress me up for the holiday and then they made me give them an impromptu concert 'cause I have a couple of guitars here. LOL They had me go out and do it in the main part of the ward so that everyone could come watch and hear it.
I am blessed. That is true. I am able to get exceptional care.
Even better? I could probably turn this into a lifetime ticket to prescription narcotics as it is quite probable that I will have significant pain for quite some time to come and potentially will have a life of pain.
Damned right, I could do that.
I won't. I just could.
Yes, I already know how you feel about that decision. ;-) I know damned well what you'd do if you were in my shoes.
I suppose that I should be high, but my oxy dose is pretty small.
This will maybe make you scratch your head.
I had them lower my dose of oxycontin. I only get 5 mg, ever 4 hours. I was on 20 plus 4 mg IV morphine as needed - up to once every two hours for the IV morphine. I dropped the morphine first and have worked my way down to the 5 mg of oxy.
Yes. Yes, I know my shame. It is what it is. I really don't want to come out of this and have to go back on the sub train and deal with all that shit again. So, I use it only for medicinal purposes and only use it to keep my pain at a dull roar. I am pretty damned sure you aren't going to agree with those choices! LOL That's why you're a horrible influence!
well buddy you are fucking up. at your age and now health it seems any logical person especially one in your position would choose comfort and warm happiness over the misery of sobriety and eventual death anyways.....1990
I ain't gonna pretend I like it. However, I have other obligations and have to maintain. If I could use and maintain, I'd do so. Since retirement, I've been unable to do so. I don't want to take that risk again - while I have obligations to other people.
dude PUSH HARDER than you ever pushed before and ask dr for dilaudid to get through it or you are crippled forever brother. I will help you through this an to remind you of importance of giving it youyr all
LOL I am giving it my all. No, I don't want heavier drugs. I have shit to do, dude. I have other people I have obligated myself to - and two of them are just children. I have taken on a very important role in their life and they are depending on me for more than just financial aide. I can't be a mess - as tempting as that is.
Well, I can. I just shouldn't. Maybe after they're adults I can resume the nod. Right now, I have to be a responsible adult. I can't use regularly and be responsible. That is what makes me an addict. My days of functional addiction are behind me. I long for the rig, so much. So much...
Yes. It takes the edge off. If my pain is a 8 on the scale, it will bring it down to a 7.5 - or even a 7.
If my pain is a 9 or 10, I ask and they toss me something stronger but I avoid that. The doc is pretty good at understanding that I know how to manage my pain and that I will make good choices, so they have yet to deny me anything I have asked for. They are well aware of my abuse history.
I have noticed my tolerance built back up quickly but I am not going to increase my oxy dose. It takes the edge off.
LOL I didn't figure anyone would even be seeing this old thread.
But, yeah... I have some special people in my life and I take my obligations seriously. It is also true that they are both very special and one is even closer. I owe her my best. That's what I told her I would give her.
You know how impressed and thankful for them I am, you rock! (oh, wait sorry, maybe I shouldn't mention rocks right now. Maybe I should take a pole to see what's appropriate. HA-ha I crack me up. Crap, I'm just making a wreck of this comment. I'm hoping you didn't break your funny bone).
LOL I would login to say hello on Poal, but I don't know my password and the Poal system doesn't seen to want to send me a password reset link. I tried to login yesterday, while I was posting on Phuks to let them know I am not dead. I tried to reset the password, but it was not effective.
I am in a time-triage type of situation but I have managed to set two hours aside each night. Those hours are what I devote to actually sitting at the laptop stand thing they have equipped me with. It is a pretty crappy laptop but it is faster than typing on the tablet. So, from 1900 to 2100 I do laps with my wheelchair (building upper body stamina) and check in every few laps to see if there is something to respond to. (That gives my arms a needed break.)
This PT is tough. Don't break your hip. Do NOT do it.
Even the youngest hoodlum has shown some signs of concern and has visited a few times with his mother. EH? She ain't leaving. LOL If I kicked her out and told her she couldn't stay, I am pretty sure she would be in my window when I open the blinds in the morning. (Probably looking like a kicked puppy.)
She and the lady band member that lives in the area have gone out to dinner and they are going to go to the university where there is some open studio time. UMA has a very, very good music program. They have some of the best studios in all of New England, actually.
Also, those puns were horrible. Horrible, COF... Horrible... You know 2/3rds of 'pun' is 'P-U.' Right?
So, this is my free time. I give myself two hours and I use it to my advantage by also taking the time to work my upper body. I am gonna need that stamina.
There is about a 50/50 chance that I can go home on Friday. Going home doesn't mean that I am healed. It means I am able to afford in-home health care and private nurses. They will bring in the PT gear and medical gear that they need and I can just do this at home. It really comes down to my function tests, some medical tests, and my pain management. We shall see!
I know you're limited in in time and ability to connect to the outside world, and that is why I've been quiet. You have so many visitors and online fans I know you need to spend your time as needed. Lots of time later when you're home and feeling better.
I told PMYB2 you were very limited on access and would likely pick back up once you got home, got settled, and on your own devices. He said he's pretty busy too, and understands. He doesn't like getting on V much.
Do you think all the upper body exercise will affect your playing in the future? Help or hurt? It's such a blessing, taking all in consideration, that your arms and hands weren't severely injured. That could have been devastating, but you're still so much more than just a guitar player.
How great Hoodlum the Younger, and even their mom, came to visit. He's a boy and may not normally show much, but you know he looks up to you. I'm glad they made the trip.
I'm eager to hear from EH when she gets back home. I'm sure she has been through so much emotionally. I miss hearing from her. She's such a blessing for you, but you do deserve her gratitude. How great she gets to visit a studio at a university and see a pro setup and get to play in it. I'm sure all the tech will be exciting for her. The bonding with X is good too. Girls understand each other a lot better than we do and she gets to talk with her.
I hope you do get home soon. I'm sure you're pretty tired of that place. Be some adjustments to make, but it has to be better mentally to be around your own stuff.
Another benefit of all this is Nads and I have talked by phone a few times and are developing a closer relationship. She's quite a woman.
LOL You're almost too humble. Letting you know and keeping you in the loop is actually a priority for me. Of all the online contacts, you were the first that I contacted when I had access again.
The only thing the upper body stamina will do is increase my stage stamina and help with that. Nothing negative will come from it - assuming things go as normal. I will almost certainly be back on the stage before the new year arrives - or at least able to be. I may hold off and let them do it on their own until after the month of January but they have been talking among themselves and have asked me if I am going to really need to take the month off still - seeing as I am taking all this time off.
But, the answer is probably still yes and I may just take the time to do a staycation and work up new set lists for the next tourist season. We shall see but this has almost certainly caused some changes.
I gave an hour long concert today - even EH was there and played along. I'd get her started on the rhythm and we played for the overwhelming majority of the rehabilitation unit. Staff was there and many people (including patients) were in costume.
Speaking of which, I should ping @nadeshda. She will get a kick out of that and she is indeed a wonderful person.
A few years ago, I was in a motorcycle accident and that did damage my playing for a while. I was able to incorporate my playing into my therapy and was back to normal in just about three months.
EH will be here later. She already conned me into letting her spend the night. However, it is on the condition that she goes home this weekend - even if I do not. She is not keeping up with her schoolwork as well as she needs to. I have to put my foot down. There is some scheduling leeway, but she has a job to do and she is not doing it when she is able to do it.
I can let her email you with my email address, if you want? We don't actually know her email password and her laptop is not here. Our passwords are complex and I value the security of the server highly - so resetting passwords on an unknown computer and an unknown network is just not something I will do.
Yeah, I am getting tired of the place. I had a ward to myself - I had the 'acute care' side-wing to myself. But, someone needed a room. It is someone with mental health issues but they are nice enough to keep their door closed and they are quiet and weird. He has been over to visit a couple of times - which is fucking bizarre.
So, I no longer have the wing to myself. I do have a private room (such as that is - 'cause half the fucking town of Rangeley has been here) but the ward is no longer private. I was told that it was a potential event.
Oh. I wouldn't debate the value and am fairly fluent for a layperson. However, I am not gonna take advice from Voat, irrespective of your intent.
I'm sure you mean well and I appreciate the gesture. I do, too! However, I can afford medical care, my daughter is an MD, and I am going to smoke regardless.
Ah.... dear Sir, you will recover soon enough, your mind will edge you along! Thanks for the update! It would be nice if I could run around for you and help you with stuff... currently doing that for an elderly couple that is moving today..... phew wee, no additional exercise required today!
zyklon_b ago
damn wtf is that?
TheBuddha ago
My femur (upper leg bone).
zyklon_b ago
looks smashed to pieces and I doubt you will heal up
TheBuddha ago
LOL If I had no money, I'd be permanently disabled from this! I would, too. That injury is good for a disability claim.
I just had some lady come along and dress me up for the holiday and then they made me give them an impromptu concert 'cause I have a couple of guitars here. LOL They had me go out and do it in the main part of the ward so that everyone could come watch and hear it.
zyklon_b ago
Dude you are so blessed to be able get proper care/ I hope all is well soon and you get LOTS of good drugs
TheBuddha ago
I am blessed. That is true. I am able to get exceptional care.
Even better? I could probably turn this into a lifetime ticket to prescription narcotics as it is quite probable that I will have significant pain for quite some time to come and potentially will have a life of pain.
Damned right, I could do that.
I won't. I just could.
Yes, I already know how you feel about that decision. ;-) I know damned well what you'd do if you were in my shoes.
zyklon_b ago
im high right now.
TheBuddha ago
I suppose that I should be high, but my oxy dose is pretty small.
This will maybe make you scratch your head.
I had them lower my dose of oxycontin. I only get 5 mg, ever 4 hours. I was on 20 plus 4 mg IV morphine as needed - up to once every two hours for the IV morphine. I dropped the morphine first and have worked my way down to the 5 mg of oxy.
Yes. Yes, I know my shame. It is what it is. I really don't want to come out of this and have to go back on the sub train and deal with all that shit again. So, I use it only for medicinal purposes and only use it to keep my pain at a dull roar. I am pretty damned sure you aren't going to agree with those choices! LOL That's why you're a horrible influence!
Gravspeed ago
I applaud this. Fuck opiates. Stay strong brother.
TheBuddha ago
I would love to get high and have it take the pain away.
The pain goes away with just one single shot.
I can't do it. I have to not be afraid of the pain and of the work that lies ahead of me. I can, and will, do this the correct way.
Gravspeed ago
That which does not kill me
zyklon_b ago
well buddy you are fucking up. at your age and now health it seems any logical person especially one in your position would choose comfort and warm happiness over the misery of sobriety and eventual death anyways.....1990
TheBuddha ago
I know. Trust me. I know.
I ain't gonna pretend I like it. However, I have other obligations and have to maintain. If I could use and maintain, I'd do so. Since retirement, I've been unable to do so. I don't want to take that risk again - while I have obligations to other people.
I chose to obligate myself. I know my shame.
zyklon_b ago
at least you are putting up a fight
TheBuddha ago
I am in fucking agony. I just got done with PT. We found an exercise I can't do. I just can't do it and it is so painful to try.
Sit with your feet flat on the floor. Now, march. Lift your foot like you are marching.
I am so fucking sore.
zyklon_b ago
dude PUSH HARDER than you ever pushed before and ask dr for dilaudid to get through it or you are crippled forever brother. I will help you through this an to remind you of importance of giving it youyr all
TheBuddha ago
LOL I am giving it my all. No, I don't want heavier drugs. I have shit to do, dude. I have other people I have obligated myself to - and two of them are just children. I have taken on a very important role in their life and they are depending on me for more than just financial aide. I can't be a mess - as tempting as that is.
Well, I can. I just shouldn't. Maybe after they're adults I can resume the nod. Right now, I have to be a responsible adult. I can't use regularly and be responsible. That is what makes me an addict. My days of functional addiction are behind me. I long for the rig, so much. So much...
zyklon_b ago
damn bro I will help you get through this but craving a rig is bad. I have never craved a rig so as it was a serious craving....
TheBuddha ago
Yeah... I know I can make the pain go away. I can make a phone call and I still have my IV port in.
The craving is strong. So strong.
That's why I can't do it.
zyklon_b ago
does 5mg really help?
TheBuddha ago
Yes. It takes the edge off. If my pain is a 8 on the scale, it will bring it down to a 7.5 - or even a 7.
If my pain is a 9 or 10, I ask and they toss me something stronger but I avoid that. The doc is pretty good at understanding that I know how to manage my pain and that I will make good choices, so they have yet to deny me anything I have asked for. They are well aware of my abuse history.
I have noticed my tolerance built back up quickly but I am not going to increase my oxy dose. It takes the edge off.
cynicaloldfart ago
You are earning extra credit in adulting. Here, have a gold star.
TheBuddha ago
LOL I didn't figure anyone would even be seeing this old thread.
But, yeah... I have some special people in my life and I take my obligations seriously. It is also true that they are both very special and one is even closer. I owe her my best. That's what I told her I would give her.
cynicaloldfart ago
You know how impressed and thankful for them I am, you rock! (oh, wait sorry, maybe I shouldn't mention rocks right now. Maybe I should take a pole to see what's appropriate. HA-ha I crack me up. Crap, I'm just making a wreck of this comment. I'm hoping you didn't break your funny bone).
TheBuddha ago
LOL I would login to say hello on Poal, but I don't know my password and the Poal system doesn't seen to want to send me a password reset link. I tried to login yesterday, while I was posting on Phuks to let them know I am not dead. I tried to reset the password, but it was not effective.
I am in a time-triage type of situation but I have managed to set two hours aside each night. Those hours are what I devote to actually sitting at the laptop stand thing they have equipped me with. It is a pretty crappy laptop but it is faster than typing on the tablet. So, from 1900 to 2100 I do laps with my wheelchair (building upper body stamina) and check in every few laps to see if there is something to respond to. (That gives my arms a needed break.)
This PT is tough. Don't break your hip. Do NOT do it.
Even the youngest hoodlum has shown some signs of concern and has visited a few times with his mother. EH? She ain't leaving. LOL If I kicked her out and told her she couldn't stay, I am pretty sure she would be in my window when I open the blinds in the morning. (Probably looking like a kicked puppy.)
She and the lady band member that lives in the area have gone out to dinner and they are going to go to the university where there is some open studio time. UMA has a very, very good music program. They have some of the best studios in all of New England, actually.
If you are curious:
https://www.uma.edu/academics/programs/music/
Also, those puns were horrible. Horrible, COF... Horrible... You know 2/3rds of 'pun' is 'P-U.' Right?
So, this is my free time. I give myself two hours and I use it to my advantage by also taking the time to work my upper body. I am gonna need that stamina.
There is about a 50/50 chance that I can go home on Friday. Going home doesn't mean that I am healed. It means I am able to afford in-home health care and private nurses. They will bring in the PT gear and medical gear that they need and I can just do this at home. It really comes down to my function tests, some medical tests, and my pain management. We shall see!
cynicaloldfart ago
I know you're limited in in time and ability to connect to the outside world, and that is why I've been quiet. You have so many visitors and online fans I know you need to spend your time as needed. Lots of time later when you're home and feeling better.
I told PMYB2 you were very limited on access and would likely pick back up once you got home, got settled, and on your own devices. He said he's pretty busy too, and understands. He doesn't like getting on V much.
Do you think all the upper body exercise will affect your playing in the future? Help or hurt? It's such a blessing, taking all in consideration, that your arms and hands weren't severely injured. That could have been devastating, but you're still so much more than just a guitar player.
How great Hoodlum the Younger, and even their mom, came to visit. He's a boy and may not normally show much, but you know he looks up to you. I'm glad they made the trip.
I'm eager to hear from EH when she gets back home. I'm sure she has been through so much emotionally. I miss hearing from her. She's such a blessing for you, but you do deserve her gratitude. How great she gets to visit a studio at a university and see a pro setup and get to play in it. I'm sure all the tech will be exciting for her. The bonding with X is good too. Girls understand each other a lot better than we do and she gets to talk with her.
I hope you do get home soon. I'm sure you're pretty tired of that place. Be some adjustments to make, but it has to be better mentally to be around your own stuff.
Another benefit of all this is Nads and I have talked by phone a few times and are developing a closer relationship. She's quite a woman.
Now, take another few laps and get well soon NOW!
TheBuddha ago
LOL You're almost too humble. Letting you know and keeping you in the loop is actually a priority for me. Of all the online contacts, you were the first that I contacted when I had access again.
The only thing the upper body stamina will do is increase my stage stamina and help with that. Nothing negative will come from it - assuming things go as normal. I will almost certainly be back on the stage before the new year arrives - or at least able to be. I may hold off and let them do it on their own until after the month of January but they have been talking among themselves and have asked me if I am going to really need to take the month off still - seeing as I am taking all this time off.
But, the answer is probably still yes and I may just take the time to do a staycation and work up new set lists for the next tourist season. We shall see but this has almost certainly caused some changes.
I gave an hour long concert today - even EH was there and played along. I'd get her started on the rhythm and we played for the overwhelming majority of the rehabilitation unit. Staff was there and many people (including patients) were in costume.
Speaking of which, I should ping @nadeshda. She will get a kick out of that and she is indeed a wonderful person.
A few years ago, I was in a motorcycle accident and that did damage my playing for a while. I was able to incorporate my playing into my therapy and was back to normal in just about three months.
EH will be here later. She already conned me into letting her spend the night. However, it is on the condition that she goes home this weekend - even if I do not. She is not keeping up with her schoolwork as well as she needs to. I have to put my foot down. There is some scheduling leeway, but she has a job to do and she is not doing it when she is able to do it.
I can let her email you with my email address, if you want? We don't actually know her email password and her laptop is not here. Our passwords are complex and I value the security of the server highly - so resetting passwords on an unknown computer and an unknown network is just not something I will do.
Yeah, I am getting tired of the place. I had a ward to myself - I had the 'acute care' side-wing to myself. But, someone needed a room. It is someone with mental health issues but they are nice enough to keep their door closed and they are quiet and weird. He has been over to visit a couple of times - which is fucking bizarre.
So, I no longer have the wing to myself. I do have a private room (such as that is - 'cause half the fucking town of Rangeley has been here) but the ward is no longer private. I was told that it was a potential event.
Nadeshda ago
Ouch!!!
TheBuddha ago
Yeah. It sucks. Not gonna even pretend I'm okay.
Nadeshda ago
:/ it will get better!
CrustyBeaver52 ago
https://www.wikihow.com/Treat-a-Broken-Femur
Says specifically NOT to put cream on it.
Hydrocephalus ago
That's your busted femur?
TheBuddha ago
Yup. https://imgoat.com/uploads/6409663226/157820.jpg
Hydrocephalus ago
That's impressive! Must have hurt like a son of a bitch.
TheBuddha ago
It is more painful now. I was in shock at first.
Hydrocephalus ago
I recommend marijuana over opiates for pain control once you get out of the hospital.
TheBuddha ago
You're not a doctor.
Hydrocephalus ago
I'm less than six months from being a doctor.
TheBuddha ago
I'm skeptical. I will be mostly smoking weed but taking anonymous medical advice is not something I do.
Hydrocephalus ago
Fair enough. Marijuana is a big new topic in the pain management community now though, look for youself.
TheBuddha ago
Oh. I wouldn't debate the value and am fairly fluent for a layperson. However, I am not gonna take advice from Voat, irrespective of your intent.
I'm sure you mean well and I appreciate the gesture. I do, too! However, I can afford medical care, my daughter is an MD, and I am going to smoke regardless.
Nadeshda ago
@Hydrocephalus is the doctor Voat needs :)
TheBuddha ago
PT done. 2 more hours this afternoon.
Nadeshda ago
Ah.... dear Sir, you will recover soon enough, your mind will edge you along! Thanks for the update! It would be nice if I could run around for you and help you with stuff... currently doing that for an elderly couple that is moving today..... phew wee, no additional exercise required today!
Your daily hug to make you feel better!
ExpertShitposter ago
Da fuk did you do?
TheBuddha ago
https://imgoat.com/uploads/6409663226/157820.jpg
See?
TheBuddha ago
Broke femur just below the ball. Clean break. Still in hospital.
ExpertShitposter ago
Ya i can see that, but what did you do?
TheBuddha ago
Well, I swore a lot.
It is too much to type on this tablet.
chuckletrousers ago
What did you do to BREAK it?
TheBuddha ago
Too much to type.
chuckletrousers ago
I'll assume it was something to do with hookers and blow.
TheBuddha ago
No hookers and cocaine would've helped.
I am on a shitty new tablet. So, it will take too long to type. I have pt in an hour. This afternoon is booked with more torture.
It is a pretty fucking major problem. We have not a clue about how long this will take. More surgeries are possible.
bman0321 ago
The fuck do you have to do? You're stuck in the hospital.
TheBuddha ago
Got a parade. Mostly worth it.