I actually had a black friend up until high school and we got along pretty well. I used to say nigga around him and copy how he acted because I thought it was how you acted cool.

Well in High school I had no black people to deal with and the only one I really got along with was him (my buddy from middle school) and his friends. Once I started dealing with other blacks I basically understood that they don't want me acting like them and they see me as different.

I would also make a bunch of jokes about blacks in school but never get in trouble because there weren't any. I never thought of myself as racist because I loved watching Dave Chappelle comedy specials and Borat was my favorite movie, so I always saw myself as just having a taste in humor that's racial but not racist (kind of like liking a genre of music). All the music I listened to talked about niggers and what they do so to me joking around about niggers was all a fantasy and it was all fun and humor.

Until I get to college and realize every nigger I have to deal with acts like a nigger. My friend acted like a nigger (and so did I) because we thought it was funny. But they acted like niggers because they had no choice.