It sounds like he didn't just need emotional support, but professional. Also, the financial aspect sounded like an afterthought. I think you're all over reacting.
Yeah, if my wife sent me that, I would be very, very concerned as well. And if I had to go to work (to support the family) then I might follow the same course of action so I don't COME HOME TO A FUCKING DEAD SPOUSE.
I've been to this dance before, although not with someone who is my spouse. It took more than a text message that I never actually spoke to him about before there were doctors and judges involved.
come home after the mandatory 72 hour hold, but now I'm scared that won't happen.
So all she needed was to get rid of him to propably fuck around a little bit?
They said we had no choice. I lost it. I bawled and bawled,
Didnt think things through did ya?!
but we CANNOT afford him to stay there that long due to both the bills and the fact that he makes the most money in the house.
Its true you only see what you had after you lost it, time to get a job.
I'm so scared that they hold all the power
You are not scared you are pissed that for once your narcissistic ass is not in command and for the first time you cant win no matter what you do.
Pro tip next time you want to cuck him just make him go to Vegas now that will not take longer than 3 days.
And if he takes this bitch back he is an idot, financially he is fucked anyway (the bills) just throw in some more bucks and get a divorce it seems they dont have kids so they payments will be not that big.
/r/relationships is people who are single giving advice to either trolls or the occasional desperate soul that wonders into there. Their advice is almost always "leave the guy/girl and be single like everyone else me"
She "accidentally" had her husband committed. Bullshit.
It's not easy to do, having someone committed. It took three of us proving we were credible witnesses, more credible than the suicidal one, to my friend's very detailed dictation of his plan for suicide before the emergency mental health people would move to commit my friend. Had to talk to cops, social workers, doctors.
Your post title makes it out to be that she's some vile woman and that she did this entirely on purpose, or something along those lines, which is not what had happened when you read her entire post. Even the money part of your title is not what's implied in her post, read carefully and put yourself in both their shoes:
Not only am I emotionally distraught at all of this, but we CANNOT afford him to stay there that long due to both the bills and the fact that he makes the most money in the house.
She freaked the fuck out after she received that text message. I mean come on, If your husband, wife, brother, sister, mother, father, etc. sent you a message like that and you weren't prepared for anything like that.. what would your reaction be? And be honest about it.
She reacted without being able to truly think about what she was doing because she was scared half to death since she's never been in such a situation before and you can easily tell from her post. Were her actions to have him committed the wisest choice here? FUCK NO, but again she didn't know what she was doing at the time and if I were her husband I'd understand it. Situations like these are very, very common in many households and I'd be extremely surprised if someone in your family never overreacted over something.
At least stop, think and try and feel both of their emotional states at the time before drawing some half-assed conclusion to cater to the average joe reddit hater.
Crum__Bum 2 points 4 minutes ago
I forgot how bills don't need to be paid during emergencies
The man is struggling to pay bills and hold a job, he needs to be re-affirmed that he is more important than what he can financially provide, and everyone is basically telling him he isn't and is more concerned about the woman being able to support herself...
To be fair, depression is nasty. What she did was probably a good idea, and I don't think it's a good idea to try and guess what her values are using only text on the internet since emotion doesn't transmit well through this medium. I don't see any bolding of the single sentence in a long text where she mentions bills.
Seems this sub has already eaten all the good shit on reddit and is going for the dodgy shit now.
like.. texting? ... like maybe don't bring your husband to a place where he could get commited based on a text where you can't really read emotion? Like maybe talk to a person first?
If my husband commited me based on an "I'm having a bad day" text, that would drive me off the deep end even more than having a bad day and being prone to depression.
A text from someone who is depressed (the post mentions that the husband has been depressed for some time) mentioning danger is worrisome. The pre-existing knowledge of depression is the differentiating factor, since this event did not occur in isolation, but in a context where there was a real risk and the action taken was therefore reasonable.
Hindsight is 20/20 but if I had depression and sent someone close to me a text saying I was in danger from it and they didn't fear for my life then something is wrong with them as well as me.
She should have tried to help him personally first by listening to him then together seeking the right help; but I don't think that sending a dangerously depressed man to a mental hospital is the worst thing she could have done. That's what they're there for
Did you miss the part where her husband sent her a text, then she didn't even try to talk to him before researching and deciding to bring him to a mental hospital? Like "hey hubby, whats wrong? Talk to me"? Or "tell me how you feel" or "are you feeling suicidal?" (BEFORE they had already filled out paperwork and were sitting in an asylum...? wtf).
If this was my SO, I can understand not wanting to live... (if you don't know any better)
Did you miss the part where I said she should have listened to his problems first?
Its still irrelevant, he's in a mental hospital where he's receiving round the clock attention for his dangerous depression. That's exactly what he needs
I think they were trying to reassure her so she wouldn't freak out even more, but this should have been in TIFU. I don't think she intentionally screwed up but she sure as hell lost it. The moral - marry someone with more brains than emotions.
I agree with you. This woman definitely overreacted and went about this in the completely wrong way, though it sounds like she had good intentions. From what I read in the post she knows she fucked up and is completely upset about it.
Fuck all of these woman haters who think this indicates an abusive relationship or the "signs of being a serious abuser."
Hey now, don't get mad at me because you lack empathy. I don't think what she did was right, but I understand what her intentions were. It's not my fault if you can't and therefore feel the need to reduce it all to "she's worried because he might not be able to pay her bills in time" because there was a lot more in that thread than just that.
And I do. Probably more than you, if I had to take a guess. Thanks for the concern, though.
I'm up-voting you in the hope that you realize what you've actually done to him (not helped him and tried to absolve yourself of the problem), and stop focusing solely on yourself. Best of luck in the future, because your husband sure needs a better you from the indications in that post.
You're welcome to be a spineless shill anywhere you want, but I'm wondering why you wouldn't be in a place that supports your limp-wrist approach to life?
Oh yes because putting out my unpopular opinion then standing by it in the face of a blustering troll with hurt fee fees is SO spineless. I'm absolutely jello right now.
It gives you a window into the world of the average Redditor. Always the abuser in a relationship, always the unpleasant person in the family. So they try to make up for it by selflessly advancing a "social justice" cause that only advances their interests.
She's not worried about his well being, she's not worried about what medications they're forcing him to take, and she's not worried about what he's thinking or feeling...
She's ONLY worried about the fact that he could have killed himself... leading to him not being able to pay her bills.
She's ONLY worried about him being locked away during the time that bills come... meaning he can't pay her bills.
She's ONLY worried about herself.
Nowhere did she take the time to consider why he reached out to her instead of going to the hospital. Nowhere did she try to talk to him and truly listen to him. Nowhere did she take into consideration his requests to not go to an institution (until she realized that he'd be locked away through bill-time).
While I acknowledge that there's a mental health crisis here, in the US, it also makes me sick that someone like this can COMPLETELY ruin my life for no legitimate reason. Background checks, gun ownership, job applications... your mental health status pops up in multiple places, and it's for forever.
In other words, because this guy wanted to talk to his wife who couldn't care less about his thoughts or opinions, he is now denied the right to buy a gun.
While I acknowledge that there's a mental health crisis here, in the US, it also makes me sick that someone like this can COMPLETELY ruin my life for no legitimate reason.
That is what made it very hard for me when I had to go this route with a friend of mine who was suicidal. Until the day he actually got out and did succeed in killing himself in exactly the manner he had told me he planned to, I beat myself up over what was happening to him, being drugged, the future of his career, what would happen to him if I was wrong.
Hardest thing I ever had to decide, and I still question whether putting him through whatever he had to endure in that hospital was the right thing.
I hope when he is released from his involuntary incarceration in this mental prison he has the sense to not forgive and forget the actions of his wife. It is clear she is a huge part of his depression and her actions and words on this show she is not deserving of his support or care. I hope he lawyers up and gets out of this manipulative and dangerous marriage. She needs to be left to support herself and learn what it means to have a partner. It's truly disgusting how others are rallying her on like they know what is best for this man.
Upvoted: "You miss your freedom, so you have a greater appreciation of it when you get out"
Upvoted: " It's possible that this experience will be a wake up call about how he is feeling and thinking about his life, and might help him get in touch with resources to start treating his depression before it spirals out of control. It's out of your hands now, and the best thing you can do is continue to be attentive and supportive."
Downvoted: "I expect that will be the last time he turns to you for help. It is especially horrible you bold the part about needing him to get out to pay bills."
Downvoted and deleted: "I sort of feel bad for your husband. He reached out to you for help, thinking he would get his wife to talk to him and to help him sort of destress, and your first action was to get him to a hospital.
I can definitely see this being the last time or him having a hard time coming to you for help in the future.
Why didn't you offer to talk to him or anything like that?"
Edit: Here's another comment from Voat from some cuck who thinks that if you hate bad behaviour, you hate all women:
"I agree with you. This woman definitely overreacted and went about this in the completely wrong way, though it sounds like she had good intentions. From what I read in the post she knows she fucked up and is completely upset about it.
Fuck all of these woman haters who think this indicates an abusive relationship or the "signs of being a serious abuser.""
People really do have no idea of the serious ramifications of being involuntarily admitted to a mental hospital. That kind of thing in your background can affect your life and your career pretty much forever. I've been in the position of having to decide to get someone put on an involuntary hold, and it was fucking agonizing trying to figure out if knowing all the consequences I was doing the right thing.
Actually, I prefer to own what I say and stand behind it. I do it in person, I'll do it online. Besides, you cared enough to quote me in the first place so evidently I'm worth the attention. -snort-
Yeah what you said is worth the attention, which can be possitive or negative, your name is not needed for that you are some random fuck on the internet and not a historical figure.
-Martha Lincoln
(See how I am not tagging your name either, does this make you mad?)
MaunaLoona ago
Can they really incarcerate against your will? That's fucked up.
princess_bubblegum ago
non archive link: https://www.reddit.com/r/relationships/comments/3vps4q/i_30f_accidentally_had_my_husband_34m_admitted_to/
myriadic ago
It sounds like he didn't just need emotional support, but professional. Also, the financial aspect sounded like an afterthought. I think you're all over reacting.
heili ago
I've been to this dance before, although not with someone who is my spouse. It took more than a text message that I never actually spoke to him about before there were doctors and judges involved.
heili ago
Hope he never again wanted to own a firearm or obtain a security clearance, because that shit is gone now.
the_spectre ago
Meet the predatory woman in the wild, Voat.
HeavyBrain ago
So all she needed was to get rid of him to propably fuck around a little bit?
Didnt think things through did ya?!
Its true you only see what you had after you lost it, time to get a job.
You are not scared you are pissed that for once your narcissistic ass is not in command and for the first time you cant win no matter what you do.
Pro tip next time you want to cuck him just make him go to Vegas now that will not take longer than 3 days.
And if he takes this bitch back he is an idot, financially he is fucked anyway (the bills) just throw in some more bucks and get a divorce it seems they dont have kids so they payments will be not that big.
404_SLEEP_NOT_FOUND ago
/r/relationships is people who are single giving advice to either trolls or the occasional desperate soul that wonders into there. Their advice is almost always "leave the guy/girl and be single like
everyone elseme"Sydviciouz ago
Wow I can't believe those upvoted comments.
I REALLY hope her husband sees this.
Wife seems like a completely controlling, manipulative coockoo. She "accidentally" had her husband committed. Bullshit.
I feel so bad for the guy. Sad.
heili ago
It's not easy to do, having someone committed. It took three of us proving we were credible witnesses, more credible than the suicidal one, to my friend's very detailed dictation of his plan for suicide before the emergency mental health people would move to commit my friend. Had to talk to cops, social workers, doctors.
You don't 'accidentally' that shit.
iamrage ago
Your post title makes it out to be that she's some vile woman and that she did this entirely on purpose, or something along those lines, which is not what had happened when you read her entire post. Even the money part of your title is not what's implied in her post, read carefully and put yourself in both their shoes:
She freaked the fuck out after she received that text message. I mean come on, If your husband, wife, brother, sister, mother, father, etc. sent you a message like that and you weren't prepared for anything like that.. what would your reaction be? And be honest about it. She reacted without being able to truly think about what she was doing because she was scared half to death since she's never been in such a situation before and you can easily tell from her post. Were her actions to have him committed the wisest choice here? FUCK NO, but again she didn't know what she was doing at the time and if I were her husband I'd understand it. Situations like these are very, very common in many households and I'd be extremely surprised if someone in your family never overreacted over something.
At least stop, think and try and feel both of their emotional states at the time before drawing some half-assed conclusion to cater to the average joe reddit hater.
supernatendo ago
The man is struggling to pay bills and hold a job, he needs to be re-affirmed that he is more important than what he can financially provide, and everyone is basically telling him he isn't and is more concerned about the woman being able to support herself...
We live in a fucked society.
ghotioninabarrel ago
To be fair, depression is nasty. What she did was probably a good idea, and I don't think it's a good idea to try and guess what her values are using only text on the internet since emotion doesn't transmit well through this medium. I don't see any bolding of the single sentence in a long text where she mentions bills.
Seems this sub has already eaten all the good shit on reddit and is going for the dodgy shit now.
Ashra ago
like.. texting? ... like maybe don't bring your husband to a place where he could get commited based on a text where you can't really read emotion? Like maybe talk to a person first?
If my husband commited me based on an "I'm having a bad day" text, that would drive me off the deep end even more than having a bad day and being prone to depression.
ghotioninabarrel ago
Yes, including texting.
A text from someone who is depressed (the post mentions that the husband has been depressed for some time) mentioning danger is worrisome. The pre-existing knowledge of depression is the differentiating factor, since this event did not occur in isolation, but in a context where there was a real risk and the action taken was therefore reasonable.
Hindsight is 20/20 but if I had depression and sent someone close to me a text saying I was in danger from it and they didn't fear for my life then something is wrong with them as well as me.
hunt_the_fatties ago
She unbolded it after she got called out
ghotioninabarrel ago
shouldn't it show a last edited <17min ago thing then?
Heebie_Kikeburger ago
Western Leftist women in a nutshell.
Pm-me-your-boobs ago
She should have tried to help him personally first by listening to him then together seeking the right help; but I don't think that sending a dangerously depressed man to a mental hospital is the worst thing she could have done. That's what they're there for
Ashra ago
Did you miss the part where her husband sent her a text, then she didn't even try to talk to him before researching and deciding to bring him to a mental hospital? Like "hey hubby, whats wrong? Talk to me"? Or "tell me how you feel" or "are you feeling suicidal?" (BEFORE they had already filled out paperwork and were sitting in an asylum...? wtf).
If this was my SO, I can understand not wanting to live... (if you don't know any better)
Pm-me-your-boobs ago
Did you miss the part where I said she should have listened to his problems first?
Its still irrelevant, he's in a mental hospital where he's receiving round the clock attention for his dangerous depression. That's exactly what he needs
pissed ago
I think they were trying to reassure her so she wouldn't freak out even more, but this should have been in TIFU. I don't think she intentionally screwed up but she sure as hell lost it. The moral - marry someone with more brains than emotions.
darkmuffin ago
I agree with you. This woman definitely overreacted and went about this in the completely wrong way, though it sounds like she had good intentions. From what I read in the post she knows she fucked up and is completely upset about it.
Fuck all of these woman haters who think this indicates an abusive relationship or the "signs of being a serious abuser."
leaffur ago
Dumb fucking cuck
hunt_the_fatties ago
TIL hating shitty, selfish behaviour means you hate women.
Dear diary: Get fucked
darkmuffin ago
Hey now, don't get mad at me because you lack empathy. I don't think what she did was right, but I understand what her intentions were. It's not my fault if you can't and therefore feel the need to reduce it all to "she's worried because he might not be able to pay her bills in time" because there was a lot more in that thread than just that.
And I do. Probably more than you, if I had to take a guess. Thanks for the concern, though.
ITS_SCIENCE_BITCHES ago
I'm up-voting you in the hope that you realize what you've actually done to him (not helped him and tried to absolve yourself of the problem), and stop focusing solely on yourself. Best of luck in the future, because your husband sure needs a better you from the indications in that post.
hunt_the_fatties ago
Waah the poor wominz meant well when she decided not to give a fuck about her husband (as she even admits)
God, why are you even on voat? You'll get lovingly pegged for your white knighting back at reddit.
darkmuffin ago
Because free speech doesn't exist on Reddit.
It's not such a nice sentiment when the boot's on the other foot now, is it?
hunt_the_fatties ago
You're welcome to be a spineless shill anywhere you want, but I'm wondering why you wouldn't be in a place that supports your limp-wrist approach to life?
darkmuffin ago
Oh yes because putting out my unpopular opinion then standing by it in the face of a blustering troll with hurt fee fees is SO spineless. I'm absolutely jello right now.
-snerk-
hunt_the_fatties ago
You don't know what a troll is, do you?
Scandinavian ago
She shows all signs of being a serious abuser.
Scandinavian ago
This. She's an abuser.
Scandinavian ago
I'm so happy I'm a gay man. Who the hell teaches women that treating your husband like property is ever okay?
I hope he goes completely insane and smothers her in her sleep.
Veni_Vidi_Vici ago
I'm so happy I'm not gay, you're even less help than the woman.
Scandinavian ago
I can take things out of context, too. You wrote:
OK, let me respond to that! Don't be afraid to be a lesbian, honey.
Veni_Vidi_Vici ago
How were things taken out of context?
You mentioned being gay and him losing it.
Scandinavian ago
Please quote the full sentence if you're quoting.
Veni_Vidi_Vici ago
Ah, still don't see much difference, but I get it.
EarlPoncho ago
posting from relationships sub is cheating
dildonkers ago
It gives you a window into the world of the average Redditor. Always the abuser in a relationship, always the unpleasant person in the family. So they try to make up for it by selflessly advancing a "social justice" cause that only advances their interests.
hunt_the_fatties ago
I know, it's low hanging fruit. Somehow I always managed to be shocked by the new depths those hogs sink to.
J_Darnley ago
God damn! All she is worried about is the money.
2716057 ago
My thoughts exactly!
She's not worried about his well being, she's not worried about what medications they're forcing him to take, and she's not worried about what he's thinking or feeling...
She's ONLY worried about the fact that he could have killed himself... leading to him not being able to pay her bills.
She's ONLY worried about him being locked away during the time that bills come... meaning he can't pay her bills.
She's ONLY worried about herself.
Nowhere did she take the time to consider why he reached out to her instead of going to the hospital. Nowhere did she try to talk to him and truly listen to him. Nowhere did she take into consideration his requests to not go to an institution (until she realized that he'd be locked away through bill-time).
While I acknowledge that there's a mental health crisis here, in the US, it also makes me sick that someone like this can COMPLETELY ruin my life for no legitimate reason. Background checks, gun ownership, job applications... your mental health status pops up in multiple places, and it's for forever.
In other words, because this guy wanted to talk to his wife who couldn't care less about his thoughts or opinions, he is now denied the right to buy a gun.
heili ago
That is what made it very hard for me when I had to go this route with a friend of mine who was suicidal. Until the day he actually got out and did succeed in killing himself in exactly the manner he had told me he planned to, I beat myself up over what was happening to him, being drugged, the future of his career, what would happen to him if I was wrong.
Hardest thing I ever had to decide, and I still question whether putting him through whatever he had to endure in that hospital was the right thing.
Morbo ago
I hope when he is released from his involuntary incarceration in this mental prison he has the sense to not forgive and forget the actions of his wife. It is clear she is a huge part of his depression and her actions and words on this show she is not deserving of his support or care. I hope he lawyers up and gets out of this manipulative and dangerous marriage. She needs to be left to support herself and learn what it means to have a partner. It's truly disgusting how others are rallying her on like they know what is best for this man.
hunt_the_fatties ago
Some delightful comments:
Upvoted: "You miss your freedom, so you have a greater appreciation of it when you get out"
Upvoted: " It's possible that this experience will be a wake up call about how he is feeling and thinking about his life, and might help him get in touch with resources to start treating his depression before it spirals out of control. It's out of your hands now, and the best thing you can do is continue to be attentive and supportive."
Downvoted: "I expect that will be the last time he turns to you for help. It is especially horrible you bold the part about needing him to get out to pay bills."
Downvoted and deleted: "I sort of feel bad for your husband. He reached out to you for help, thinking he would get his wife to talk to him and to help him sort of destress, and your first action was to get him to a hospital. I can definitely see this being the last time or him having a hard time coming to you for help in the future. Why didn't you offer to talk to him or anything like that?"
Edit: Here's another comment from Voat from some cuck who thinks that if you hate bad behaviour, you hate all women:
"I agree with you. This woman definitely overreacted and went about this in the completely wrong way, though it sounds like she had good intentions. From what I read in the post she knows she fucked up and is completely upset about it.
Fuck all of these woman haters who think this indicates an abusive relationship or the "signs of being a serious abuser.""
heili ago
People really do have no idea of the serious ramifications of being involuntarily admitted to a mental hospital. That kind of thing in your background can affect your life and your career pretty much forever. I've been in the position of having to decide to get someone put on an involuntary hold, and it was fucking agonizing trying to figure out if knowing all the consequences I was doing the right thing.
I would not do what she did.
HeavyBrain ago
The fucking funny thing is, she wrote it herselfe, after she did talk to him everything was fine.
Also "she had good intentions"
But thats the feelz>relz crape in our socity these days.
darkmuffin ago
If you're going to quote me, put my goddamn username on it.
hunt_the_fatties ago
You don't need any more attention for your boot-licking.
darkmuffin ago
Actually, I prefer to own what I say and stand behind it. I do it in person, I'll do it online. Besides, you cared enough to quote me in the first place so evidently I'm worth the attention. -snort-
HeavyBrain ago
Yeah what you said is worth the attention, which can be possitive or negative, your name is not needed for that you are some random fuck on the internet and not a historical figure.
-Martha Lincoln
(See how I am not tagging your name either, does this make you mad?)