Thanks for the reply, and I am in the midst of reading the Gnosticism page you linked me while getting distracted reading comments here.
The thing is....I guess I feel unmotivated. I feel apathetic, because no matter why the world is the way it is, no matter how beautiful it can be, or how good and loving and creative and amazing people can be, it is fucked up, and it is slowly falling down around us.
I spent my youth in blissful ignorance of the world, and yet still, still I find myself in the graces of whatever blind deity shuffles our pieces around this planet. By this, I mean I don't live a particular rich or fulfilling life, but I have never had real worries, or problems, health issues, enemies- always had food, shelter, and decent stuff too, not living in poverty. No matter what happens to me, things balance out and then go positive.
I don't WANT this. I don't want this goodness. Somebody else should have this, because I am squandering it. If I lived in turmoil, I would thrive because I would be COMPELLED to act. But I am not.
The side I want to be on doesn't even exist yet.
Sorry for ranting. I guess I have...a lot on my mind lately.
I think it's that the world is slowly falling apart and we all feel so powerless and helpless to stop it. We aren't likely gonna see a WW3 Aramageddon scenario, but that seems less scary than subtle way things are changing.
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ElspethTirel ago
Thanks for the reply, and I am in the midst of reading the Gnosticism page you linked me while getting distracted reading comments here.
The thing is....I guess I feel unmotivated. I feel apathetic, because no matter why the world is the way it is, no matter how beautiful it can be, or how good and loving and creative and amazing people can be, it is fucked up, and it is slowly falling down around us.
I spent my youth in blissful ignorance of the world, and yet still, still I find myself in the graces of whatever blind deity shuffles our pieces around this planet. By this, I mean I don't live a particular rich or fulfilling life, but I have never had real worries, or problems, health issues, enemies- always had food, shelter, and decent stuff too, not living in poverty. No matter what happens to me, things balance out and then go positive.
I don't WANT this. I don't want this goodness. Somebody else should have this, because I am squandering it. If I lived in turmoil, I would thrive because I would be COMPELLED to act. But I am not.
The side I want to be on doesn't even exist yet.
Sorry for ranting. I guess I have...a lot on my mind lately.
3587894? ago
I think it's that the world is slowly falling apart and we all feel so powerless and helpless to stop it. We aren't likely gonna see a WW3 Aramageddon scenario, but that seems less scary than subtle way things are changing.