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Thorium ago

You should probably talk to a mental health specialist, NOT BECAUSE YOU'RE WRONG AND I THINK YOU ARE CRAZY, but because it seems this is really affecting your day to day life and talking to a trained professional can help immensely with learning how to cope with feelings like this.

Unreasonable ago

I would discourage this. As someone who's gone down that path you will more than likely end up worse off. The mental health profession in America was developed by the military specifically to identify individuals who are unable to accept mind control.