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16343189? ago

Nobleanon, I have lurked here for more than three years and posted maybe 4 times total. But your post is important and I believe you. Others have said things like this but they deserve repeating.

Number 1: GET CLEAN

This accomplishes many things. It will greatly reduce your suicidal thoughts. Your chemical reward system in your brain is out of wack and removing the coke will help. Getting clean will help improve your judgment. You will not make as many mistakes. You are a greater individual threat than most of us here, and if the pedo network decides it’s better for you to die the coke is a convenient vector for them to poison you. Your dealer could likely be bribed. Also, you say your family uses your addiction as a reason to not trust you. You can remove that reason. Taking it away from your bad family members and making the ones you love very happy. You don’t have to totally rejoin your family if you don’t want to, but they will all have one less thing to hold against you. If you try to move against the network while still using, it is likely you will fail. Remember to excercise, eat healthy and drink lots of water while you get clean. It may be the hardest thing you’ve ever done but it’s very important.

Number 2: Deeply think about who you can trust. Sounds like your guard/hitman friend maybe be good, but with your judgment impaired by drugs and alcohol it will be harder to determine who is currently in your life that you can trust.

Number 3: Gather as much information as you can, as discretely as you can. I sense you have already posted the extent of your current knowledge. Think of ways to find out more. That’s where Number 2 comes in. Names, dates, locations, businesses, methods of transport, etc. are the more valuable here than your money. So I would recommend you save it and try to build it up for when it is truly needed.

These steps build on each other. Stay safe. Godspeed. DO NOT KYS. Don’t give them what they want. Despite any mistakes you’ve made, we need men like you. Your courage could eventually inspire others in similar situations. And thank you.