Survivors' guilt. Identity crisis. Broken routines and comforts. Fixation. Theory crafting. Finding meaning for why it happened. Why? Pain. Guilt. Attributing the action to causes. Directing every emotion at the causes. Pieces still in motion. Anger. Guilt. Despair. Crisis. The death of who you were, now that they are no longer here. No answer on the line. Forgetting. Remembering. Having done everything you could have before it happened. Was it really everything you could have done? It mattered. It doesn't matter. It should matter. Does it matter? Confusion. Hopelessness. Guilt. Outward appearances. Humour. Must be optimistic. Must be OK. Not OK. Not feeling right. Numb. Anger. Sorrow. Guilt. Time to get up and move on. Patience. Echoes. Reinvention. Quiet. Hollow. Norming. Forgetting. Forgotten. The pieces are like a favourite story that hasn't been read in years. You never really get over it.

I don't know why people don't understand this. First, I'm sorry for the terrible experience and the loss. I've known a couple people this has happened to, but I have not had it happen to me persona;y, but I've had my share of loss.

Every traumatic event that rattles us, is going to take time --- period.

There's no cure, no magic pill, no Harry Potter and no potion to save us from the pain. Memory is a blessing & a curse. The only thing you can do is try to join a support group, or get involved in almost anything that eats up your time and attention....no matter wtf it is. Distract yourself as much as you can, until you are SO tired you sleep through the nite, or at least enough to function. Work more hours, volunteer at a soup kitchen, shelter, shelter for animals....whatever. Do anything and everything you can handle, and eventually you will be able to handle things raw. Suicide is a chicken-shit, douchebag thing to do. It's not a solution to anything, and all it does it hurt people you leave behind. It's a slap in the face. People that do this are sorrowful, wretched douchebags....I never think highly of anyone that does this. Step it up and accept things for what they are. Chances are those people have not elicited help from others. But you now have to partly clean up the mess this person foisted upon you. Do the best you can to distract yourself. Expend your time in a POSITIVE way. DOn't do something fucking stupid like booze, drugs, weed or some other half-assed dodge. DO it right, or you will most likely be haunted by it later. Be strong, do your best, and I wish you well. You are a soldier of life.

Kinda going though something similar, my nephew killed himself 10 days ago and the family is turmoil. Best advice I can give is to set boundaries and abide by those boundaries. Alcohol is a depressant, no drinking right now, cut that shit out. Mourn, but shake it off when it is time to man up and do your job and care for your family. Go to work, stay focused, take care of business. Take a couple hours a day to reflect and mourn, but set those limits and leave the booze alone until you are on your feet. If you drink to escape, you will destroy your life. Rise above it.

Not a chance, we're related, and everyone knows I'm not that kind of person.

Hi. Female here (keep that in mind our brains are different). My best friend died at when I was 19.

I put my life on pause for two years. I didn't really realize it, but I divided my brain up and the dominant portion of my head was a very logical side of me that emotionalessly dragged me to my responsibilities. Emotionally I didn't have much a life. Wasn't interested in friends. Doing stuff. All that nonsense. It was a very low simmer that kept me in a depressed state that I never really noticed.

1) Find someone to speak with. Connecting with other humans is hard. Going to my friend's mother and having the occasional picnic or lunch helped me a lot. She was going through the same thing as me and actually had been looking for me for a long while. She was the first person who I felt like properly helped slip through that wall I had up.

2) Cry. I'm not a cryer myself. However, after learning it is a way to cope and reduce stress I practiced until I could utilize crying properly.

3) Fulfilment. My recovery didn't really start until I gave myself goals and began to work towards 'a more fulfilling life'. Setting yourself up for a better future helps take your mind off the past. I began to date for the first time and slowly worked on struggling through a lot of social aspects I avoided for a long time.

4) There are good ways to cope and bad ways to cope. I personally went the opposite route of you. When she died I stopped ALL drug use and damaging behaviors. You really need to find the babysitter portion of yourself that can make good decisions and lead what you do. You gotta stop coping in damaging ways. There are good ways to cope, and bad ways to cope. You need to find the self-restraint to stop doing damaging behaviors. It'll just make you unstable as you move forward.

One step at a time. Try going for a walk. Doing anything productive to just get your mind focused on something else. It's hard work, don't let this break you. God bless and good luck.

Sorry for your loss.

It's important to get your emotions out. Cry and workout sessions will help. How would your friend want you to continue your life?

Although there's some risk in spiraling out, find some psylocybin and take a break from any other drugs for the next few days. Once everything is out of your system and you haven't eaten for a good 12+ hours, eat a half eighth and listen to your favorite music until it gets boring.

Also, pick up some kind of hobby and get some exercise. Maybe go to church if that's your thing.

Look, nothing will replace your friendship. No one will be able to convince you otherwise. But would he/she want you to feel this way after their leaving? How would they feel about you moping and forgetting to continue with your life?

Suicide is a terrible and traumatic thing. But, you don't just owe it to yourself to keep going. If you want to think of it this way: they're still alive within you. Carry their memories with you and share your fond stories with their family. They'd love to hear them right about now.

Remember - we don't mourn their passing, we celebrate their visiting. Death is not the end.

OP, Ive been there.

You have PTSD. There is no shortcut to dealing with this.

1. Make an appointment with a therapist and show up.
2. Go visit your friend's grave, to say goodbye.
3. Smile once a day at someone who knows you.
4. Take a shower everyday.
5. Go to work, no matter how tired you are.
6. Eat once a day, even if you're not hungry.

Do this every day. One day soon, you'll realize you don't feel quite so bad. It works.

Everyone has to die sometime, your friend died the way he wanted to.

I wouldn't let it bother you.

I don't want to get doxxed, so I can't post the details. I lost my brother to suicide. He used my gun, my lost conversations with him were me being mean towards him, and he live streamed it. I found him in a pool of his blood a few days later. I watched the video. I was a wreck for the next 3 months. I remember the first month of work was terrible and I didn't think I would ever be able to be a functioning member of society again. I recall crying during my shift and the feeling of pointlessness of all of this. Why didn't the world recognize I was in pain? The harshest reality is the world keeps going. People care as much as they can, but no one truely understands. I remember the feeling of being alone.

I had a very close friend tell me to "Get over it." This man is the kindest, most gentle man in the world, and those words still haunt me. But he was trying to tell me to stop being a bitch, it hurts, but you can't let it consume you.

You have a road ahead of you to heal, it's normal you feel like this. You need to talk to a therapist or councilor to help you process what happened. You need to resume and continue your activities. This feeling will end. I found solice in meditation and Stoicism. Get help, there's no shame in reaching out for help. To be honest, a lot of the feelings I had around the time of the event are still there, just much quieter. I can talk about the event with people if they ask, I don;t go into details but I can say it happened. I still have dreams of him, but they are not longer nightmares, I miss him and things still remind me of him. If he has a grave, visit it and talk to him. It's dumb but it helps me. If there's not a grave, go to a place you guys spent time together.

I've seen two co workers commit suicide at work with guns. It's a horrible experience. Talk to someone about your feelings. Go to a help group and talk about these things that you feel. It helps. It will help you cope with everything. Don't forget about your friend. Always remember the good things about your friend.

Forgive yourself. You're basically having survivors guilt. In the future, make sure your friends are good and aren't feeling depressed or anything. Like let them know how much of a great person they are. Here's something you can do if they're a musician; ask them to play something they know on the instrument. It'll show them that what they're doing, is important to you. There's only so much though you can do. If people fall, they fall. They go so far and you can't do anything about it.

Also here's some music that can help you to possibly feel better:

• Logic or Our Last Night- 1-800-273-8255 *Of Mice & Men - Second and Sebring
• Of Mice & Men - The Great Hendowski
• We Came As Romans - Just Keep Breathing
• Black Veil Brides - Knives and Pens
• Pierce The Veil - Bulls in the Bronx

Also I have some books you need to read. They may help prevent something like this from happening again:

• No More Mr. Nice Guy by Dr. Robert Glover
• How To Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie
• How To Win Friends and Influence People In The DigitSl Age by Dale Carnegie and Associates
• How To Stop Worrying and Start Living by Dale Carnegie

The last book has a chapter on depression in it. You should probably get that one first and then go in the order of the list

None of those people know what you've been through. Even if they know mentally, they haven't experienced it. This is temporary unless you give fully in to this depression. Loss is hard, but this isn't normal loss.

I would ween yourself off any substance that takes your mind off it. You need to process this, hard as it may be. You need to cry and face what happened. Emotions like this are hard to face, but facing them is the only way we can cure ourselves.

Best of luck, man.

Fuck it. Life goes on.

https://youtu.be/GXGVFJqSqqg A little juice for the tank. We will all meet again. And laugh and drink at what happened. We are not strangers to one another anymore. No such things as chance or luck. We need what is right to understand and learn to move forward. I've seen alot of death because my family is old. Some suicides some old age. And I'm tired of it. I found a good woman who will be a good mother to my kids so I will grow my family again. There is no end to the wheel man. Just do better on each round and eventually we escape.

I hope you don't take this the wrong way. However I know that your stage is quite sensitive and can even create anger out of nothing.

Between my teens and early twenties I was lost. I drank a lot and smoke a lot of weed. I felt I didn't belong anywhere, not even with my family. We have had some rough times in my family and I was a kid with a lot of anger issues and violent.

During my dark years I tried to kill myself several times but I wasn't able to do it. Imagine how bad could I have felt because of failing on that too, several times. But I recon that deep inside me I really didn't wanted to die. I even started hearing a lot of voices that pushed me down and didn't let me sleep. I was even offered by a shrink to get some psychiatric medication but I said no because I needed to control this myself and did not wanted to stop being me.

Despite all of the things that I had in my mind and suffered, the one thing that I can think of that had me like that is that I had little love for myself and most importantly, I didn't have God in my life.

Then I started to get closer to God. I got to know His Word and to feel his presence. I was able to commune with Him through the Holy Spirit and gain the strength to overcome those bad years. It was certainly a process but I took the step and never came back to my old ways.

I stopped drinking for a while because I didn't have control over it. I vowed that I would not drink again until I was the one controlling it and not it to me. I stopped smoking weed nearly 2 years ago because I didn't want to have my mind numbed. I wanted to have a clear mind in these days and each day I was able to grow closer to God.

I prayed in my loneliness and was able to feel the presence of God. I talked to Jesus as my best friend. Many times in pain for all of the things that I had: my guilt, my anger, my low self esteem. Day by day, I was happier. Suddenly, those voices disappeared. They never came back. I became more confident and understood that I loved myself by loving God.

By understanding that without Him I was lost and without Him I would probably be dead. I am thankful with God for all the things that he has done in my life.

No one can take you out of that darkness but you. No one can pull you back up but you. You need to understand that these are choices you take. You decide whether you stay in the same stage you are on. You decide whether you shut people off. You decide whether you believe in God or not.

Yes, if you don't want to believe, you may "succeed" in this life. Depending on how you measure success. However the old ghosts of your past will keep hunting you down no matter how hard you try to ignore them. They will hunt you. Because you have never had the strength to face them. Through God, I was able to break myself and build myself back together. I was born again.

Trust in Jesus, you don't need to confess your grief to strangers on a site. Talk to Him in the privacy of your room. Keep in mind that the suffering he went through was much greater than yours and He did it for you!

Don't let go of the hope that you will stand again. Look up and remember, there is always One that is watching over you from up above. Don't lose yourself in habits that will cloud your mind. Don't let the darkness control you. Show the light that God gave you through His Spirit. And walk tall.

There is nothing wrong with grieving your friend. It is hard losing a friend, always, specially the way that you did. But you are here, now. You have what he let go of. Embrace it.

I pray in the name of Jesus that these words may comfort you. I pray in the name of Jesus that these words will encourage you to look for Him. To have a relationship with Him. I pray that God will give you the strength to go through this hard times and understand that there is always a purpose for these things. The main one is: The hard times you go through in life are to build your character so when you find yourself in a place where you see others going through similar things, you can extend your hand as a blessing to them and let them know the testimony that you have become. God loves you. He wants you to be saved, in the name of Jesus, AMEN.

Matthew 7:7-8 - KJV

Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you: For every one that asketh receiveth; and he that seeketh findeth; and to him that knocketh it shall be opened.

Dude: go out for a jog. Jog every day. A healthy mind in a healthy body.

The mind will take time, in the meantime just focus on the body - you're gonna need it for decades.

I had the same thing but no advise from no one... go on a month trip to another country to get perspective. Not a holiday, but a trip to expand comfortzone

It's been over 20 years for me.

I'll let you know when I get over it.

get some counselling dude pronto.

First of all, if you are blaming yourself in any way, don't. It was your friends choice based on whatever they were going through. If someone really wants to take their own life, nobody will be able to prevent it. So get that monkey off your back right away: not your fault.

Secondly, allow yourself to grieve. It's a process and it goes through stages, you must allow this to happen. Don't bottle anything up, don't pretend, let it out and let it happen. Keeping it in will only mess you up. That can mean any number of things but if it takes beating the living shit out of a punchbag or even a pillow, I'd strongly advise doing so.

Thirdly, accept what has happened. There will be a million scenario's going through your head: "Could I have done this", or "Maybe if I'd said that". Your friend made their choice, I don't know what they were dealing with but in some cases it can be a case of trying to get away from a living hell. If so, accept that they are at peace now, that as sad as it may be, that chapter has now ended and the story goes on. Your friend would not want his/her decision to impact on you.

As you come to accept what has happened the nightmares and questioning of yourself will ease. In the short-term keep yourself well. Avoid alcohol, it will only make things worse. Get a steady sleep/wake routine started again (very important), and force yourself to get a little exercise. Going on some walks will be enough for now.

All these things combined will sort you out, but remember: it is a process and you have to allow it to happen, it's the mind's way of taking stock, figuring it all out, and trying to put the pieces back together again to start again.

Feel free to message privately at any time if you want.

Have you tried stop being a fag

Eh my dad killed himself a few years ago. Its impossible to know what was in their head so I just assume he didn't randomly do it. If someone wants to die they should be allowed to make that choice.

Ask yourself if this is what your friend would want for you op. Do you really think he wanted to ruin anyone's life especially his friends by committing suicide? Stop drinking and get your mind clear enough to think logically. Ask yourself if it's worth ending your life over something that he wanted. It's going to hurt op but you got to embrace the pain and push through it until you come out the other side.

this is the job of a necrologist...

Shut the fuck up you little bitch. I guarantee you've never whitnessed a traumatic death of someone you were close with before. You're such an utter faggot.

lmfao

Get your shit together, bro. Take some time off before you get fired. Go to church if that’s your thing, or meditate, something. If you don’t have anything like that, go worship at the Temple of Iron (lift heavy barbells.). Figure out what you have or want that’s worth living for. The most powerful human emotion is HOPE. Figure out what you’re still hoping for, and hold it in front of you so you can keep going after it.

Hang on, goat.

Ask why he took his life? You most likely know the answer. And then dedicate yourself to the prevention of that problem. Do it in small steps person by person. Focus on those who love you. Do not neglect them. Your time is now and his is over. Get your bender done might take a solid month of numbing the pain. It will never leave. But make sure you do not waste your grief in despair. Grieve his life but do not squander your own. He left a message whether you know it or not. Stay strong and true

Sorry for your loss. Try exercise like walking or jogging.

No soy for me, you degenerate tranny fetishist.

Happiness will return to your life eventually, it always does. Until that time it is in your best interests to fake it with the other people.

It's fucked up, I know, but there are those who would seek to use this perfectly natural moment of temporary depression against your future interests, especially in matters of a legal nature. You are depressed now because you are supposed to be depressed now, and it is perfectly normal considering the circumstances. In time the pain will pass, which is also entirely normal. We all go through it.

Sounds like a vacation might just be an excellent idea. Change of scene for a little while. A little time and space between you and this can do wonders for your peace of mind.

Dude, go to the doctor. Get someone to help you do it if you can't. You just defined atypical depression

Spend time outside. The sun disinfects your brain.

I've been getting blackout drunk and acting like a total shithead.

My recommendation is to stop doing that.

Stop drinking alcohol immediately! Its a depressant and will only make things worse.

Maybe you need to take time off work and get yourself straight. Talk to management tomorrow. Its a friday, good day to bring it up. Talk 1 on 1 with someone higher up you trust and who understands you.

If you have savings and your job says no... consider quitting and taking time off.

Well, for one, stop drinking. Unless you're drinking with a therapist or something I guess. Don't do to others what your friend did to you or you will put them in the same situation you're in now. Instead, do the opposite. Take great care of yourself. Not only will we appreciate your effort, but you'll feel better as well.

There is nothing you could have done to change what happened. At best you could have delayed it for a short time. That's it. You are in mourning now, but it's time you start to get back on track.

Cut back the booze, little by little, get outside as much as possible, pick your hobbies back up, and if you need to, go to your county services and get a counselor to talk to. Don't admit to suicidal PLANS, or they can disarm you and permanently revoke your constitutional rights to firearms. If you need psych meds, keep it short term (less than a year) and absolutely stay away from benzodiazepine class drugs. Keep checking in on Voat and keep chatting with people here. Any socializing is better than complete isolation.

Whenever someone suffers a traumatic life event my advice is always the same. Time heals everything. So I would say try to just put as much time between you and the event as possible without doing anything stupid. Occupy your time however you can and just stay busy, try to avoid substances (psychedelics are OK), and you should be OK. Healing happens whether you try to or not so just take up your time and let that shit happen on it's own.

Can I have your stereo?

You were there? Pardon my curiosity but what does that mean? They excused themselves from the dinner table and pulled the trigger in another room?

I don't really have any good advice to give. I just want to say that it sucks to lose people, and you have my sympathy.

But, just as you didn't want your friend to be taken from this world, your friend wouldn't want you to be taken away from this world in a mess of drugs and depression. Times like this are the absolute worst time to be intoxicated, even though it numbs the pain for a while. Take the time to mourn, to experience and deal with that pain. Take as much time as you need, not to fix the pain, but to get through to the point where you can function and hope again. Then pick yourself up and keep going.

The future needs every last one of us who can keep the fire alive in us. Don't destroy your life over this. Don't give in to the pain and let it consume you. I don't know how to fix your situation, but I know that you must not give up. Just don't give up, man. There is meaning, and there are better days ahead... as long as you keep moving toward them.

Post some nudes of your ex.

It sucks but a lot of times people let something like this be an excuse for them to give up. I've done that.

Get your act together and be a man.